Open Communication Timing

I agree, send a reply of some kind or close the match.......save wasting time.....

aquaman: Be patient and use the "Nudge" ladies!!! Do you know that the man is not on a two week vacation? Do you know that he is not down with a flu bug? Do you know that he is not tied up after work helping out his friends and neighbors? Do you know how many matches he gets each day and has to manage? You may become his special match, but for now, give him time to manage and make his choices. You do in real life.

To me, a match that closes communication after 7-10 days without a nudge is somewhat revealing. It reveals impatience and someone who is not very understanding. So hence, the guy will not likely request you to reopen the match even when he felt a chemisty there. Are there not enough impatient people in society today that we have to produce more within Eharmony? Where is the harmony in that?

I totally disagree aquaman...With the ease and access everyone has to the internet such as...Blackberry, Iphone, Laptops, Desktops and Wi-Fi EVERYWHERE I think it is sad if you cant take 5 minutes to say "Hey I am interested, however really busy at the moment"... If you are so busy you dont have 5 minutes in a day, you should probably not be wasting your time and money or somebody else’s time by trying to date.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Picture this: You meet someone at a party that seems interesting, so you go up to them and try to strike up a conversation:
 
"Hi."
 
They don't answer you for three minutes.  Finally: "Hi."
 
"How you you know the host?"
 
wait five minutes.  "Oh from college.  You?"
 
"We work together.  Having a good time?"
 
Wait ten minutes.
 
By now you've probably stopped talking to this freak who is obviously not interested in communicating with you.
 
I'm a 33 year old, fit, decent looking guy with a stable job and good social skills.  I'm single now, but in a month I can pretty much guarantee I won't be.  Ladies... if you take three weeks to answer you're wasting your money on dating sites.  It's your lack of social skills, or your inability to prioritize a relationship that is keeping you single.
 
And guys... if you think we have options how many do you think the attractive ladies have?  A hell of a lot more than us.  Wait even three or four days to respond and you're off the menu.
 
I don't get it.  If you subscribe, why not respond?  It takes minutes.  Either write back or close the match.

I had a lot of guys requesting communication, but suddenly it stops at the 3 questions stage...and I'm like wth?

I nuged and waited...waited some more. Finally! 1 guy answered, I sent my answers, 3 days later: open communication. Now I am again waiting. It's been 10 days. He's in the army, has the weekends off. But still, it's open communication, if you don't have time to write a 500 word essay...then just write Hi, how r u, I'm fine, I'll be very busy this week..aka Yes, I am still interested!

Is it that hard?

MAK1021,
I know exactly what you're going through, i.e. wondering if it was something you said, hoping/trying for a second chance...waiting. I've cancelled hundreds too, and you've described what I've done.

One thing I've learned about being on eHarmony is it's a good tool to ask yourself why you are doing this and to learn:

~Is how my approach to the relationship process healthy?
~How realistic are my expectations, are they too high, too low?
~What can I live with?

However with most members being non-paying, I find the TV commercial is better than the online experience. You can improve and make yourself healthy while waiting. Chances are it will be a long one; hang in there!

I'm glad to be reading these and realize a lot of people go through the same thing. I have closed about 175 matches, but there was this one a week ago who requested communication. His answers were great and I really got excited. We went all the way to stage 4 after swapping rounds fo questions. I guess stage 4 is when you move it to open communication or set up a call or meet? Anyway...It's been 7 days and I haven't heard anything. I've been really bummed about it because this guys seems perfect for me! Today I sent him a little "icebreaker" message, but...nothing yet. I guess it is all about patience, but I keep second-guessing my last answers...wondering "was it something I said?" Anyway....any words of comfort?

I just joined eharmony, this past September. I have had some of the same issue, as the woman writing in this post. I am currently, in open communication with two of my matches. Each one for different reasons are a little slow, at getting back with me. but Due to how busy they are with their daily lives. One is taking night classes at a online college. And the other due to work, can't check the eharmony site on regular bases. There have been times I did not hear from them for about two weeks. So I would say it may not be so simple, to just say there is no interest on the mans part. Have you tried the nudge, to let them know you are still interested in them? If not give it try, I have used the nudge a few times. Sometimes it worked and sometimes not. One of the matches that I am currently talking,with is because of a reminder nudge. Now we are in open communication. I would try to give them a some more time to respond. Hope this is of some help to all of you? GOOD LUCK TO ALL

I don't like to spend much time in email and even less time on the phone before (safely) meeting someone.

But it appears that your fella forgot that an even more important goal is to make your match want to meet you. You were right to close him.

I have gone throught the guided communication process with a man that seemed interesting. WHen it came time to email each other he wrote: "This is how I want things to go down...we have a couple  phone calls and we meet."  I stated that I wanted to get to know him a little better, aside from the programed questions, to be safe. (besides thinking he was a little controlling/pushy) He became angry and stated he did not respond back immediately because he felt he didn't have to prove himself for "safety's sake." He wrote me a couple nasty emails and I closed out. I think he raised a huge red flag and I am glad I trusted my instincts. Do most men find a woman being a little cautious insulting? I just wanted to talk a little and know something about him before we met.

If I am sent a match I am interested in I usually send the first round of questions within a day or two. If I see that they have visited my profile but have not replied within a week I send a nudge. If after another week I get no responnse I close them. That's just my opinion, but the fact that they looked means they are online and have an active account.

Plus, I can't manage more than one person in open communication at a time, (nor do I want to) so I would imagine that's true for most women as well. Still, 2 weeks is long enough.

Someone said they will leave a match open indefinitely. I see no reason for that. If a month passes and you've gotten no reply waiting another month isn't going to help. They've moved on and just forgotten to close you out. Chances are they have a long list of open matches. Maybe it is an ego boost for some people to open up eH and see 25 open matches with the first round of questions.