How to Get the Perfect Amount of Matches
eHarmony is the only relationship site that creates compatible matches based on 29 dimensions to predict happier, healthier relationships. But what happens when you have just joined the service, you log into your account expecting to see your matches and you have none? Are you supposed to think that you are not compatible with at least one match out of the millions of users on our service?
What Can You Do?
Many times a lack of matches boils down to a handful of settings. Sometimes it’s not clear exactly what the specific match settings will do, and many people end up choosing a setting that doesn’t quite match up to what they’re looking for. Other times, it’s a case of someone being too specific about what he or she might be looking for, and thus limiting where or how eHarmony finds a compatible match. We’d like to give you a short overview of some important match settings, and how they may be the reason you are not getting enough matches.
Distance
Distance is one of the biggest levers you have at your disposal to dramatically increase or decrease your number of matches. The narrowest setting is 30 miles or less, while the widest setting is anywhere in the world. At eHarmony, we’ve had couples find the love of their lives in the same city, the same state, across the country, and even on the other side of the world. While you might first be inclined to set your distance to 30 miles, just think, would you be willing to drive 31 miles if that’s how far away the love of your life was? Unfortunately, that person could be screened out with a distance setting of less than 30 miles. Phone calls, emails, text messages, webcams, there are many tools to facilitate a burgeoning relationship, particularly when that person has already met eHarmony’s 29 dimensions of compatibility.
So if you have a narrow distance setting, try increasing how far eHarmony will search by expanding your distance setting. You may be missing that special someone because they live 31 miles away!
To change you match settings for distance, click the My Settings tab, and then click “Edit Preferences” on the distance section
Age
When you join eHarmony, we’ll automatically look for matches for you within a certain age range. Typically, this is a range of about 10 years. You are free to limit the age range to something narrower like 6 years, but just like the distance setting, this is another feature that will limit how many matches you receive.
For instance, if a 43 year old man narrowly defined the age range for his matches as 27-32, he would severely limit the number of matches he would receive. Not only is he limiting his search to only women within this 6 year age range, but those same women must also have an age range which includes 43 years old. If the typical 30 year old woman picks an age range of 30- 40, this man is not going to be matched with her. It’s ok if you have your heart set on meeting people only within a certain age range. And if this is the case, you might want to offset that strict setting by widening another setting – like increasing the acceptable distance of your matches.
To change your match settings for age, click the My Settings tab, and then click “Edit Preferences” on the Personal Preferences section.
Drinking and Smoking
Your lifestyle preferences play an integral part in the matches you receive (as they should!) – specifically drinking and smoking. People have strong opinions on this, and so you should only choose settings with which you are 100% comfortable. BUT (there’s always a but), you should know this:
- If you are a smoker and you are not willing to accept a match who smokes, it is harder to be matched.
- If you are not a smoker, and are not willing to accept matches that smoke even a few times a year, you are screening out matches that may have 1 or 2 cigarettes a year in social settings – like at bars or clubs.
- If you opt to be matched with only non-drinkers, you are excluding a person who rings in the New Year with a glass of champagne or that drinks a glass or red wine every day for its health benefits.
To change your match settings for drinking or smoking, click the My Settings tab, and then click “Edit Preferences” on the Personal Preferences section.
Match Flexibility
If you widened your distance, age, drinking, and smoking settings and still aren’t getting enough matches, it may be due to your match flexibility settings. Your Flexibility settings are really trying to get at the question of how important these different settings really are to you.
Your Match Flexibility settings include: distance, religion, religious denomination, ethnicity, education, income, height, age, smoking, and drinking. The settings are defined on a 7 point scale, where 1 and 2 = Not Important, where 3, 4, and 5 = Somewhat Important, and 6 and 7 = Very Important.
What does the scale mean? Take a look at the following chart:
| Rating | What it Means to You |
| Very Important | We will not deliver matches to you that fail to meet your exact criteria |
| Somewhat Important | We will try to deliver those matches that meet your exact criteria first, but you may get matches that fall outside of the criteria you specified |
| Not Important | We will look for people that meet your criteria, but if the number of available matches drops, we will relax these criteria first |
Given that, a bad strategy is to set all of your Flexibility Settings as Very Important. For most people that will severely limit your available matches. A good strategy is to really think about how you would rank order the Flexibility Settings from 1-10. What’s most important? What’s least important? Following that, feel free to experiment. Take your top two most important settings and rate those as Very Important. Take the next 5-6 and rate those in the Somewhat Important range. Take the remainder and rate those as Not Important.
Remember you want to talk to as many of your compatible matches as you can so that you can find that individual that will change your life forever. Adjusting your settings is free, as is the conversations that follow (if you’re a subscriber). If you find you’d rather receive fewer matches than more, adjust the importance of your settings upwards. Your eHarmony experience is in your hands!
To change your Match Flexibility settings, click the My Settings tab, and then click “Edit Preferences” on the Match Flexibility section at the bottom of the page.
Looking for a Great Relationship?
Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.
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163 Comments View this thread in our community
eH_Advice_Host_Kate
January 19,2011 at 09:51 amI've not been able to finish the application..comes up with same questions at end over and over
Hi Happy person,
Sorry that you're having trouble filling out the Relationship Questionnaire. When you try again, make sure you scroll down to the bottom of the page to make sure you're filling out all the questions that are there. For some reason, there are certain pages on the Questionnaire where sometimes people miss those questions at the bottom.
If you continue to have trouble, you can contact our 24/7 Customer Care team through the Help page: .
Good luck to you,
~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
happy person
January 18,2011 at 02:11 pmI've not been able to finish the application..comes up with same questions at end over and over
Gr8Guyn2008
August 1,2010 at 10:23 amIt is not about getting a certain number of matches that is important.
The important thing is to get matches that are paying members who will communicate with you.
Then you only need one match that is compatible with you.
Gr8Guyn2008
August 1,2010 at 10:21 amAnd you are asking what?
KristaLeeRamsey
August 1,2010 at 08:30 ami am trying to lose weight and have an Excellent scene of humor . and i love to make people laugh."And men who are Intelligent and have blue eyes drive me wonky. and
i love angels. and i like him to be in great shape.
HeyMeetMeOnline
June 29,2010 at 12:23 amThe only time the "Find New Matches" button consistently works is just after midnight pacific time. That is when eHarmony "releases" your matches for the day.
It shouldn't be that difficult for eHarmony to constantly give you new matches throughout the day. Based on its compatibility test, it should already know ALL matches for everyone, and it shouldn't take 24-hours to complete the process. But I guess that's eHarmony's way of limiting matches so that people feel forced to stick around and see who eHarmony decides to match them with that day.
And when you press that "Find New Matches" button, sometimes it says the following while it is "searching" for new matches:
"Photos and Physical Appearance at eHarmony We do use physical appearance as a factor in our matching process and we encourage all members to post a photo."
How does eHarmony use physical appearance as a factor and why can't its users define physical appearance themselves?
/rant
Sassafras54
June 27,2010 at 11:56 amHi hennie -- How did you set the "importance" slider for distance? If you really want no one more than 60 miles away, it should be set to the top notch.
If it's set lower than that, EH will send you matches that are farther away.
If you've already got it at top importance, and this is happening, there's something wrong with your account and you should call Customer Care: 800-951-2023
hennie23
June 27,2010 at 11:48 amI have been a member of e harmony for just one month now. I just need to post this because it is something I am very upset about. I listed in my settings to be matched within 60 miles of where I live. I had been very narrow minded in the beginning because in the beginning I had requested matches within 30 miles. However, with that being said I have been matched with people who are literally hundreds of miles away. It is very disappointing.
franie
June 7,2010 at 08:33 amQuite pleased so far ,keep going!
eH_Advice_Host_Kate
June 1,2010 at 04:49 pmHi Iamowl,
Sorry you’re unhappy with your experience so far.
We certainly agree that attraction and chemistry are important in a relationship. Our system doesn’t have a measurement or filter for “attractiveness” simply because it’s so subjective. Another dynamic that we’ve seen over and over again involves how people feel different about matches once they meet in person. Oftentimes you may get matches with vague/slim profiles, but we’ve found that people often start this way, and we have many messages in place to encourage these people to complete their information so that they will have more success.
Some people have met the special someone they are looking for without even seeing a photo! Others were turned off by the photo, but thrilled about their match in person.
It’s very normal to receive a number of matches that you’re not interested in for whatever reason. Often this is how it goes when you really are looking to hit the bulls eye. You’re going to get matches that miss the mark for you. I guess that makes finding the right person all that more incredible. But it can and does happen for many members, and I hope that you find the right person soon!
The “Find New Matches” button does provide new matches if they are available – it usually works best, however, if you open or adjust your settings on the My Settings page first.
All the best,
~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
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