3 Things That Turn Men Off To Relationships

From our Sponsor, Christian Carter


3 Things That Turn Men Off To Relationships

Have you experienced any of these things in your dating life?

- He doesn't call back and you have NO IDEA why.
- You go on 2 or 3 great dates and get close, then you have what feels like a "strange" talk and he stops calling. 
- A man suddenly goes from seeing you as a fun and fantastic woman to seeing you as more of a friend he isn't interested in.

If so, odds are, you're a great women but you're having a disconnect with the man you’re interacting with.  If you know in advance what triggers a man’s flight instinct -- and turns him off -- you can create those feelings and experiences for him where’s he’s literally addicted to being with you, and can’t stay away from you.

Sometimes it’s good to know what NOT to do first. Here’s a simple list of things to NEVER DO early on when you’re getting to know a man.

3 THINGS THAT TURN MEN OFF TO RELATIONSHIPS

1) Over-Pleasing

When you’re getting to know a new guy, it’s natural to want him to feel good, to do things to make him like you and want to be close to you…BUT this can be a big MISTAKE. Not only does over-pleasing not allow him the space to come towards you, it can cause him to have icky feeling inside that makes him think, “This person wants or needs me too much.”  If you are trying to make him interested in you by complimenting him, doing nice things for him, and being available to him at anytime he shows interest…STOP trying so hard.

Being too available and trying too hard to can make you come across as needy and insecure, even if you don’t actually feel that way. It’s strange with men, but you don’t have to actually be needy to have a man get turned off by him perceiving you as needy.

2) Leading with ‘Relationship’

It’s great to be clear and want a relationship, but a man will likely be resistant to getting close with you if you lead your interactions with the agenda of needing to get into a relationship. This is a surefire way to kill a new situation and the attraction a man is feeling for you. Here’s the thing -- it makes sense to communicate that you are interested in a relationship with a man on the first few dates when things go well. But the truth is that it doesn’t help you to talk “relationship” with a man this early on. In fact, it can hurt you. Aside from not allowing yourself some time and space to really get to know and choose your future partner... wanting to rush into a relationship can be a real ATTRACTION KILLER with a man.

I call this the "Instant Relationship" mistake, and TONS of women make this mistake in one way
or another without really knowing they're doing it. Don't make it easy for the RIGHT MAN to mistake you as the WRONG WOMAN for him, by having him feel like you’re trying to rush into a relationship.

3) Not Knowing Your Own Boundaries

Have you ever spent time with a man who didn’t seem “available” emotionally, but you were hoping that a meaningful, committed relationship would come together anyways, and that he would come around? When you hide your true intentions, you eventually feel out of control because not only are your needs not being met, they haven’t even been expressed and they come out in subtle passive ways that create a disconnect between you.

As soon as you feel out of control and panicked, your guy will sense it. He may not know exactly what it is, but it will make him uneasy about having a relationship with you. If you know what you're looking for and you’re clear about finding it for yourself, without demanding it from the guy you’re dating, you’ll be more at ease AND he will be more likely to be interested in a relationship and a future.

Doing these 3 things with a man is a sure way to have him stop feeling that special connection with you.  If you want to get better outcomes and results when it comes to men, and you want to
be able to communicate with a man in a way that brings him closer... then oftentimes you have to STOP doing what “made sense" in the past and instead start doing the things that make him FEEL ATTRACTION for you.

When you create amazing EXPERIENCES with a man to the point where he’s constantly feeling that intense connection and attraction, he will practically be begging you for more in your relationship.

I’ve helped thousands of women - single and in relationships - to create the kind of intense attraction that leads to loving and lasting relationships (and prevents a man from pulling away from the relationship when things get tough).

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. - If you want to learn some of the specific tips I give away free about how to help your man open up and be a better partner with you, go check out my weekly email newsletter at catchhimandkeephim.com

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35 Comments View this thread in our community


Anonymous

May 13,2012 at 08:27 am

1. Her fav movie is Fatal Attraction
2. The bloody chainsaw in her closet
3. The last 5 of her boyfriends mysteriously disappeared.

canterburytales

August 14,2009 at 06:36 pm

Well there are more than 3 things that turn men off to relationships. One major piece of legislation passed in 1994, called the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 should top the list of things that scare men away from relationships.

We all can agree that women in abusive or violent relationships need help to get out of them and this law addresses just that.

But, unwittingly, our witless legislators failed to realize that women can and do use false accusations of domestic violence to put men in a world of hurt if the relationship were to turn sour. Unlike any other form of criminal act in which a person is presumed innocent until PROVEN guilty, domestic violence is she said he said, only her accusation carries the day and she does not have to prove anything, nor is there any consequence for her doing such a thing. He is presumed guilty just by her accusation. His life will never be the same after that.

So, if the 3 things in this blog don't scare a man away from a relationship, the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 should. Not all women will use such a devious tactic, but some will. So men which of these women are you sleeping with. If you think she is one of those who might, get out while you can.

GILKEY

July 17,2009 at 01:33 pm

Nanette: May I ask how long you have been married?

It will be 2 years in October.

Nanette

July 16,2009 at 12:29 pm

GILKEY: . (My wife and I met on E/H, by the way.)

May I ask how long you have been married?

Nanette

July 16,2009 at 12:28 pm

DebbeinTexas: I started dating this man from church. Soon after he began telling me I wanted to get married. He now says we are just friends.... that I'm one of the few people he actually cares about. His phone calls, texts and e-mails are at odds with his statements about being just friends. It's all very odd. He spends a great deal of time talking about before he was married and what a player he was. Are all men seriously the best lover that ever drew a breath?

I don't know whether to chalk this up to damage from a bad marriage or just immaturity.

Men: Actions not Words, actions not words, actions not words

GILKEY

July 16,2009 at 10:24 am

matkins: I want to know why we women spend our lives trying to meet and please men. I don't see them doing the same or even caring about establishing lasting relationships with us. Why do we continue to put ourselves through this?

I have found that the two best books on marriage relationships are: Courtship After Marriage by Zig Ziglar and The Love Dare by Alex and Stephen Kendrick.

These books have helped me in my marriage. (My wife and I met on E/H, by the way.)

Laurissa

July 16,2009 at 09:10 am

jbrown01: Can I add to the great 3 things that turn us off to relationships? I would suggest that women that are all ready in a relationship and/or married need not even try to start up a new relationship, until the one your in is over. I have met lots-o-women that have a problem relation/marriage, and want to start dating/relationship with me before they feel the strentgh to leave that problem alone. Ladies, us men feel as if you are using us to get past/thru a bad situation and our very 1st thought is " if you dump him for a better man, then you will dump us for even better". Or to keep it short, you did it to him, so you'll do it to me. Honestly a man can't trust you when you try to go that route, because in the back of our minds we don't see you as a strong woman, or maybe your the type that need a man to validate you. Either way it's a relationship kill.

Good point jbrown. Anyone who doesn't have the courage to leave that relationship and live on her (or his)own for a while, to recover and grow, is probably not worth having anyway.

waltercl

June 25,2009 at 09:03 pm

MsCalifornia:

To james P81, is it wrong to nag about not getting sex?

I'm not a big fan of nagging, but I'd make an exception in that case :)

cp30

June 25,2009 at 08:35 pm

maybe my comprehension is off....but that is the most confusing thing I ever read (and I've read it before, and accepted it...I'm putting my foot down!)
I think it said....don't act needy, don't act like you need a relationship, be clear that you communicate that you need a relationship.
Wow, that was helpful!

avinash

June 25,2009 at 06:39 pm

I disagree with the first one, but the other two are spot on

I'll add #4:

Nagging. Don't do it. Just don't. Some men are willing to lose everything they've worked for their entire lives in a divorce settlement to get away from the nagging.

This should replace number one imo, instant dealbreaker


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