How to Talk to your Mate about their Weight

well said Be11ad0nna

wtfdotcom: the article left out the part about the bullet-proof vest...

Kinda pointless wearing that because she'll be aiming for your head!

Through the years I gained a little here, a little there.  Living in an area where sidewalks get slick, ultimately I'd fall and couldn't exercise.  This added a lot of weight besides the gradual incresses along with time.  I never immanged I'd have a "tight" 38 waist line. I parked my car in an effort to loose.  I was walking more than ten miles a day. Also watched what I ate.  After six months I had lost a whopping five pounds. :-(    With still a tight 38 waist.   My son is austic.  One of his workers went to another job.  I saw her at a state fair, three years ago.  She said she came across a program to help people. Took my phone number.  Later she introduced me to Isagenix.  Now I am feeling so much better.  Have energy.  And as a byproduct I have lost 50 lbs. And have keep it off.  Just walking a little now for enjoyment.  richsiler.isagenix.com, if interested.  Please do not close corrispondance with me.  My purpose on e-harmony is for a relationship.  Not financial.  But if this helps others to feel so much better, I have posted . 

iam 28 years old i have 3 kids and i have a problem losing the weight . last year i lost 65 pounds but gained 35 pounds back . i now am 177.6 pounds and if you can give me some help or tips? i just want to look sexy again. my life has been a rollercoster with my weight and now iam tried of it people tell me at gets harder when you get older.

Ingy, the world didn't give it to me, the world can't take it away. Thanks!

Jacquiem:

I don't know what's worse, thesanctimonious attittude of people who used to be fat but who aren't now, or the cruelty of the people who don't like fat people.

I would prefer that a man who prefers a thin woman stay the he** away from me. I will never, EVER conform to the height/weight chart. My body is just not built to be a size 6. It took me a year to lose 30 pounds, and I'm working on 20 more. But according to the magical height/weight chart, even then I'll be overweight. Tough. If my body is not appealing to you, then please leave me alone. I would absolutely not appreciate a man dating me hoping he can get me to lose an extra 10 pounds to fit his ideal. You either take me as I am now, or don't. And if you don't, I'm not mad at you. Really.

It is true that losing weight affects your self esteem, but for me it wasn't so much how I look as it is how much I've been able to accomplish and how I continue to challenge myself and surpass those challenges. I do 1 1/2 hours of cardio three days a week, 1 hour on the other 2 days. I do abdominal exercises half the weightlifters I work out with can't keep up with me on, and while I can't lift as much weight as they can, I can go exercise for exercise with them in strength training. I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life, and I physically feel better than I've felt in decades. It's a plus that I look FREAKING AMAZING and DEAD SEXY in my clothes (so the fellas tell me), but if every man doesn't think so, so what? I am happy with myselfwith the work Ido whenI'm in the gym sweating and when I'm walking out of the house dressed and looking nice. Others honestly don't have to agree, I'm more than good with me these days.

Losing weight is not as easy for everyone as just putting down the chips and getting off their fat a@@ as some have said. If anyone told me it would take me this long to lose 50 pounds, I would have given up a long time ago. But I kept going because I had a trainer, friends, family, and new friends at the gym who camealong side me and helped me, celebrated every pound lost, noticed and complimented and encouraged every inch slimmed. Eventually I wanted to see how far I could go myself, but it wasn't easy at allgetting there. There weredays I was in that gym on that treadmill near tears because it was so hard and Ithought I'd fail. Again.Weeks when I didn't lose a pound after all that hard work and stoodon that scale and cried. So I really wish people who've never struggled, really struggled,with weight would stop it with the "it'seasy, just do it" comments and mentality. Until you've been there, you have no idea how hard it can be.

But if you're so convinced it's so easy for everyone else,how about stop being so danged mean and helping someone do what you did?You don't have to be attracted to an overweight person - everyoneshould exercise their preferences to be happy - but youcertainly don't have to cut down and further demoralize people you're not attracted to. Honesty is one thing - cruelty is a whole nother issue, and you certainly don't have to be cruel to be honest.

Now you..are a ROCK STAR!!! I so admire a strong, cool chicky, Christian like yourself that doesn't let anyone take away the self esteem that God has given you

Scotch:

I think it is good advice and an issue many deal with but do not know how to bring up - it is important to approach in a really sensitive manner!

I think if you have to bring it up you are in the wrong relationship. You either like them the way they are or not; you don't try to change them.

<------ *taking her soapbox andstrutting away in her 3 1/2 heels*

Jacquiem:

I don't know what's worse, thesanctimonious attittude of people who used to be fat but who aren't now, or the cruelty of the people who don't like fat people.

I would prefer that a man who prefers a thin woman stay the he** away from me. I will never, EVER conform to the height/weight chart. My body is just not built to be a size 6. It took me a year to lose 30 pounds, and I'm working on 20 more. But according to the magical height/weight chart, even then I'll be overweight. Tough. If my body is not appealing to you, then please leave me alone. I would absolutely not appreciate a man dating me hoping he can get me to lose an extra 10 pounds to fit his ideal. You either take me as I am now, or don't. And if you don't, I'm not mad at you. Really.

It is true that losing weight affects your self esteem, but for me it wasn't so much how I look as it is how much I've been able to accomplish and how I continue to challenge myself and surpass those challenges. I do 1 1/2 hours of cardio three days a week, 1 hour on the other 2 days. I do abdominal exercises half the weightlifters I work out with can't keep up with me on, and while I can't lift as much weight as they can, I can go exercise for exercise with them in strength training. I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life, and I physically feel better than I've felt in decades. It's a plus that I look FREAKING AMAZING and DEAD SEXY in my clothes (so the fellas tell me), but if every man doesn't think so, so what? I am happy with myselfwith the work Ido whenI'm in the gym sweating and when I'm walking out of the house dressed and looking nice. Others honestly don't have to agree, I'm more than good with me these days.

Losing weight is not as easy for everyone as just putting down the chips and getting off their fat a@@ as some have said. If anyone told me it would take me this long to lose 50 pounds, I would have given up a long time ago. But I kept going because I had a trainer, friends, family, and new friends at the gym who camealong side me and helped me, celebrated every pound lost, noticed and complimented and encouraged every inch slimmed. Eventually I wanted to see how far I could go myself, but it wasn't easy at allgetting there. There weredays I was in that gym on that treadmill near tears because it was so hard and Ithought I'd fail. Again.Weeks when I didn't lose a pound after all that hard work and stoodon that scale and cried. So I really wish people who've never struggled, really struggled,with weight would stop it with the "it'seasy, just do it" comments and mentality. Until you've been there, you have no idea how hard it can be.

But if you're so convinced it's so easy for everyone else,how about stop being so danged mean and helping someone do what you did?You don't have to be attracted to an overweight person - everyoneshould exercise their preferences to be happy - but youcertainly don't have to cut down and further demoralize people you're not attracted to. Honesty is one thing - cruelty is a whole nother issue, and you certainly don't have to be cruel to be honest.

*Stands up and applauds*

I don't know what's worse, thesanctimonious attittude of people who used to be fat but who aren't now, or the cruelty of the people who don't like fat people.

I would prefer that a man who prefers a thin woman stay the he** away from me. I will never, EVER conform to the height/weight chart. My body is just not built to be a size 6. It took me a year to lose 30 pounds, and I'm working on 20 more. But according to the magical height/weight chart, even then I'll be overweight. Tough. If my body is not appealing to you, then please leave me alone. I would absolutely not appreciate a man dating me hoping he can get me to lose an extra 10 pounds to fit his ideal. You either take me as I am now, or don't. And if you don't, I'm not mad at you. Really.

It is true that losing weight affects your self esteem, but for me it wasn't so much how I look as it is how much I've been able to accomplish and how I continue to challenge myself and surpass those challenges. I do 1 1/2 hours of cardio three days a week, 1 hour on the other 2 days. I do abdominal exercises half the weightlifters I work out with can't keep up with me on, and while I can't lift as much weight as they can, I can go exercise for exercise with them in strength training. I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life, and I physically feel better than I've felt in decades. It's a plus that I look FREAKING AMAZING and DEAD SEXY in my clothes (so the fellas tell me), but if every man doesn't think so, so what? I am happy with myselfwith the work Ido whenI'm in the gym sweating and when I'm walking out of the house dressed and looking nice. Others honestly don't have to agree, I'm more than good with me these days.

Losing weight is not as easy for everyone as just putting down the chips and getting off their fat a@@ as some have said. If anyone told me it would take me this long to lose 50 pounds, I would have given up a long time ago. But I kept going because I had a trainer, friends, family, and new friends at the gym who camealong side me and helped me, celebrated every pound lost, noticed and complimented and encouraged every inch slimmed. Eventually I wanted to see how far I could go myself, but it wasn't easy at allgetting there. There weredays I was in that gym on that treadmill near tears because it was so hard and Ithought I'd fail. Again.Weeks when I didn't lose a pound after all that hard work and stoodon that scale and cried. So I really wish people who've never struggled, really struggled,with weight would stop it with the "it'seasy, just do it" comments and mentality. Until you've been there, you have no idea how hard it can be.

But if you're so convinced it's so easy for everyone else,how about stop being so danged mean and helping someone do what you did?You don't have to be attracted to an overweight person - everyoneshould exercise their preferences to be happy - but youcertainly don't have to cut down and further demoralize people you're not attracted to. Honesty is one thing - cruelty is a whole nother issue, and you certainly don't have to be cruel to be honest.