5 Reasons Divorced Women Get Married Quicker
Divorced? Of course!
Some of you mistakenly feel that because your marriage(s) ended, you're at a disadvantage. Ladies, nothing could be further from the truth. To be honest, and you know I'm never anything but, divorced girls have a huge advantage. Think about all your invaluable experience! You're not some starry-eyed twenty-something who runs home crying to mommy the first time your husband criticizes you. You know what it takes to make a relationship work, and what will make it crash and burn. You know how to love and how not to love.
Men are more likely to look at a never-been-married woman over thirty-five and ask, "What's wrong with her?" than they are to say the same thing about a similarly aged woman who is divorced. At least you tried -- at least someone picked you. You get big brownie points for this. It sounds harsh to those of us who have never been married, but it's true and the truth hurts me as much as anyone else, because, as you know, I've never been married. I know what men say about me.
Divorced ladies, for all the trauma and heartbreak you've been through, consider the hard-fought advantages you've won:
1. You're better able to weed out the losers. You've been in the program before, you know all the signs, both good and bad, so you're better able to assess if he'll make a good husband.
2. You can discern his interest level, and your own, much quicker. You don't waste time kidding yourself that this might work if you just give it one more shot. Experience has made you a realist.
3. You're not desperate. You know that, yes, you can recover from a heartbreak, and, no, he's not the last man on earth. You also know that it's better to be alone and happy than in a crappy relationship.
4. Your stock is higher because you've been picked. Men register this in their minds, whether consciously or subconsciously. And if your ex-husband was someone prominent in your community, your stock goes up even higher.
5. You have more realistic expectations. Men love this, because they don't feel the pressure to be perfect. They know that you've seen a man in gross old underwear before and accepted him, warts and all.
These are among the reasons divorced women tend to get married again quicker than a woman of the same age who has never been married. The never-been-married woman deliberates for freaking ever!
Get more dating and relationship advice in Become Your Own Matchmaker by Patti Stanger.
About the Author
Patti Stanger is the author of Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate and the star and executive producer of her own television show, The Millionaire Matchmaker, on Bravo. Her wildly successful matchmaking efforts have been featured on E!, MTV, Dateline, Dr. Phil, Ellen, Tyra, NBC News, The Big Idea with Donnie Deutsch and numerous other television shows, as well as in Marie Claire, Elle, Glamour, the New York Times, Forbes, The National Enquirer, the Washington Post and many more.
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82 Comments View this thread in our community
curiousgirl123
March 29,2011 at 09:56 amThis probably depends on the woman, her personality and how ready she is to be in a relationship.
For myself, being previously married, I find myself being much more defined in what I want and have less room for budging. I've learnt things don't eventually work themselves out if you've picked the wrong partner.
I am very happy in my present stage and I don't feel motivated to remarry quickly. I have firmly decided I would either be with someone very compatible or remain single. What I have is too good and I wouldn't want to change it unless it's for the better.
szgorzelski
March 28,2011 at 06:33 pmThe same small collection of guys with more "game" than the rest.
nick222
March 27,2011 at 11:08 amnm
cpl_dvldog
March 27,2011 at 09:43 amMaybe the reason divorced women marry faster is because the never married women are less willing to make the sacrafices it takes to be married. Maybe they are entirely wrapped up in their career, or are to set in their ways to make room for another person.
I have a friend that is in his mid-40's, never married and dates casually. I doubt he will ever marry because he is so used to doing what he wants, when he wants. Since he was a teenager he has done and gone where he wants. Buys what he wants with his paycheck. He has been set in his ways for so long I don't think he would be able to share his life with someone else.
Irishlass68
June 13,2010 at 06:38 pmDivorced women get married faster??? Really??? I have been divorced for 5 years and I have not even had a serious relationship. As for walking into a bar and finding a date? You're more likely to find a mister right now rather than mister right.
I have found dating to be rather challanging. With a full time job and a school age child, I have very limited time to socialize and date. Thats not to mention a lot of men simply will not date a single mom.
My ex on the other hand has been married and divorced a 2nd time and is currently engaged to his current girlfriend.
gr8guy
June 13,2010 at 06:18 pmFunny,
I've had the same experiences with women.
So I guess it goes both ways!
liquid_steel
June 12,2010 at 11:23 pmI chuckle to read this article...it presumes that women even CARE what men think of their divorced selves. Whether we are lauded as experienced lovers or degraded as damaged goods, both opinions leave you with the task of boldly stepping beyond safe predjudices to truly get to know her.
TallFitFun
January 25,2010 at 03:00 amDivorced women know what to expect the next time around. You don't try as hard to get things "right" you concentrate on being yourself and not what someone thinks you should be. You know what it's like to have a husband. It's a lot of work and you simply have the job experience. When you start dating, you're the employer, you have a job opening and you start taking applications. Have your requirements, and start screening prospects for the job.
puffineyes
December 27,2009 at 03:48 am:) Hey hey I am 50 and I love my husband for better or worse. He is a sociopath , no feelings After 9 YRS It died. In his eyes I am a stranger, never born. O:plder alone, afraid of the emptiness. My Lord fills my heart and I know that I will be ok better and safe. I will find love at any age love loves no one hate is contagous. L.Pittman
praise jesus
Dugl
September 12,2009 at 12:17 pmFortunately....women are strong.
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