The Top 5 Male Turnoffs

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO ATLEAST IS GETTING TOWARDS SOME EQUALLITY "chivalry goes both ways and the dating game requires plenty of give-and-take." remove the he's and she's and its all good.

Sometimes flakiness sucks too.

Sometimes flakiness can be endearing

Interesting article

Nepacutie,
I totally agree with your views that the man shouldn't always have to pay if women are also fighting for equality and independence, but what confuses me the most is, there are an equal number of women out there that complain about "Going Dutch".  So how is a man supposed to know what he is supposed to do before being condemned as being cheap?

I am exceptionally pleased to read such views. Very nice.

I wish I come across a woman like you at least once - for a change.

I might have had 5 dates in the last month and I paid all 5 of them. They did not even offer to share!

I remember once earlier this year, a woman asked me reluctantly if I wanted her to share the bill - she asked me so reluctantly that I had to say 'No that's ok'

nepacutie: I don't get it. Why does a man have to pay on a date? I always assume I will pay my half of the dinner...even if he asks me out. I always have money with me and I ALWAYS offer to split the check. If he refuses to let me pay, then I insist on at least leaving the tip.

It's not like we live in the 50s. Women always complain about equal rights. Equal pay for jobs, etc. But still want the man to pay for dinner. That's crazy and is a slap in the face to all women who claim to be "independent." I make my own money and can pay my own way. I don't need or want a man to pay for everything. Paying for a special occassion like a job promotion or birthday is a different story though.

Don't know how many of you will get to comment 911 unless your list goes from most recent but ...
The list and description seems pretty valid on the receiving end, particularly regarding changes and ultimatums.
 
And then I see more advice saying that these are good strategies are good too start out with but .....
The truth is they are ghood strategies PERIOD. If you have to hold your breath to 'set the trap' and then move in to change your guy once he is hooked you are right back on that dangerous route. Figure it out to begin with and figure out that that IS what you will have long term. People do change gradually, hopefully toward what the other person might like or want but they can't be driven there without setting up resentment, if not conflict.
Guys will decide which battles are worth fighting in such cases as those that the 'further advice' advocates but sooner or later a lot of little battles work themselves up to being war. You don't want that. Neither does he. I see those changing strategies in my rearview mirror and understand why I am using e-harmony twenty some years later. I'm not all bad or all good (I'm pretty sure I lean toward the latter) and I'll probably never fit into a totally new mold .. no matter who pushes or how hard they do.
You can't make a jeep into a Rolls Royce. At least shop for a luxery car you can live with or a nice clean jeep that will provide the ride you really want if you don't think you are going to find a Rolls.

I don't get it. Why does a man have to pay on a date? I always assume I will pay my half of the dinner...even if he asks me out. I always have money with me and I ALWAYS offer to split the check. If he refuses to let me pay, then I insist on at least leaving the tip.

It's not like we live in the 50s. Women always complain about equal rights. Equal pay for jobs, etc. But still want the man to pay for dinner. That's crazy and is a slap in the face to all women who claim to be "independent." I make my own money and can pay my own way. I don't need or want a man to pay for everything. Paying for a special occassion like a job promotion or birthday is a different story though.

I posted this elsewhere, then I found this article...so here it is: I received an ultimatum from a woman I saw for the first time recently. We had been talking over telephone and spending long hours of conversation on webcam for about a week. Wonderful! We are not in the same city, so we met one day at a midpoint. We had a great time. We ended up making love. She asked me if I was willing to be in a committed relationship as I drove her to the train station. (She had to be back the next morning). I said yes...no hesitation on my part. She contacted me the next day and said that she had a problem with us having gone "dutch" for our first meeting. She says she expects the man to pay for everything and treat her like a woman (she makes more than I do, by the way). "The man should act like a man," she says. She doesn't feel cared for unless I pay, she says. She said she can't be in a relationship with me unless I agree to pick up the tab at all times and forget about going dutch. Now, this is one of those cases where the obvious answer seems to be, "run, don't walk, away." But it's so odd that this would come up after we had such a great time and she mentioned nothing of having a problem. In fact, she was wondering when we could next see each other again. Strangely enough, I'm not really upset or bitter.  It was a terrific day/evening.
That ultimatum came out of the blue, though.

Much of this would turn me off in a man as well. But I have to add some views on two points:
Ultimatums: Obviously not on the first date, obviously not in the first stages of the relationship. But eventually, if one wants to have children then no relationship can be dragged on forever without some clarity on where things are headed. If a man is truly sensitive then he will understand what your concerns are and be careful not to play with your time.
Trying to change him - Again, obviously not on the first date and obviously not in the initial stages of a relationship. But when two people love and care for each other and are in a relationship they ideally both help each other become better, healthier etc. It doesn't come from a place of control necessarily. I am indebted to an ex-boyfriend for getting me into alternative medicine and health foods - helped me get over major food allergies