The First Thing Women Look For in Mr. Right

By David DeAngelo, author of best-selling eBook “Double Your Dating” and free “Dating Secrets” newsletter


The First Thing Women Look For in Mr. Right

When it comes to spotting “Mr. Right,” most women are looking for just one thing... but it’s not what most guys think.

Despite ancient male legend, women don’t initially “feel it” for a man based on his looks, his money, his car or cheesy pick-up lines. When it comes to finding Mr. Right, most women are looking for something else entirely, something that’s either there or it’s not...

His CONFIDENCE.

Truth is, most guys immediately destroy any chance they have of coming across as Mr. Right by broadcasting signals of weak self-esteem, helplessness, nervousness, insecurity and immaturity. They’re too quiet. They avoid eye contact. They get tongue-tied. They’re not funny or engaging.  All of which scream to a woman: “Hi, I have zero confidence in myself, which means I’ve failed to meet my own emotional needs, which means I can’t possibly meet yours, either. So, for your own good, please reject me ASAP.”

On the other hand:

A man whose inner strength allows him to project the correct body language -- speak slowly, directly and clearly, use humor effectively, make clear, strong decisions --  gives off the kind of calm, cool confidence that’s fuel for attraction.

Confidence is the key ingredient of what we commonly think of as “chemistry”... the immediate, unspoken promise that a man is likely to be:

1. PROTECTIVE AND IN-CONTROL. The kind of man who’s emotionally prepared and knows exactly what to say and do in a given situation.

2. EXCITING (IN THE RIGHT WAY). In other words, thrilling yet safe... passionate yet mature... unpredictable yet trustworthy.

3. CAPABLE OF SUCCEEDING IN LIFE AND LOVE...while  also capable of tolerating and dealing with challenges, loss, and adversity.

Needless to say, a man’s confidence is powerful fuel indeed. It sparks overwhelming emotions in a woman that, once set off, she’ll want to explore further. 

That in mind, here’s how any man can get more of this fuel for himself:

DIG DEEP
Most men obsess about things they can't change about themselves -- when they should be identifying and maximizing the “Mr. Right” qualities already buried inside them.  So take inventory of your Mr. Right qualities (sense of humor, the ability to listen, compassion, activism)  and then, no matter how deeply buried or dormant they may seem -- take action to uncover, nurture, grow and project them. 

TAKE RISKS
No doubt about it, until a man is open and excited to try new things in life, he’ll never escape his comfort zone, including daring to connect in a meaningful way with women. Building confidence means taking chances in life -- whether skydiving or simply sampling new foods instead of ordering the usual. So start practice “taking risks” both large and small... and watch how it translates instantly into new confidence.

STOP FEARING REJECTION
Most men must discover first-hand that rejection won’t kill them (or even break a bone!).  But once a man experiences this for himself enough times and accepts it, women can “feel” it the moment they meet him... that he’s calm, cool, and comfortable in in his own skin. So start “going for it” whenever you can, because, when it comes to rejection, there’s definitely nothing to fear except fear itself.

Take these small steps toward broadcasting confidence to a woman, and it’s almost automatic: she’ll “receive” the message... she’ll remember it... she’ll keep thinking about it... and she’ll want to spend more time around the man who sent it.

And then the sky’s the limit... all because you’re finally sending the signals that every woman is looking for and just can’t ignore:

That you just might be Mr. Right.
------------------

Acclaimed “Double Your Dating” author David DeAngelo has cracked the "secret code" as to why some men are so naturally successful with women...while most endure painful failure and frustration. David shares his most powerful tips, tools, and advice on how ANY man can build his confidence and overcome his fears to become the “Mr. Right” that every woman is looking for in his FREE “Dating Secrets newsletter.” Subscribe to it here.

 

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108 Comments View this thread in our community


Anonymous

May 13,2012 at 08:08 am

Many women are looking for Mr. Wright--Wilbur and Orville's brother.

Anonymous

April 22,2012 at 08:14 pm

This theory only applies to immature ladies who have no self-respect or self-esteem(the ones who always fall into the hands of jerks) and give themselves up super easy.

Every man on the planet knows he can play the all cocky, confident, and funny man game and he'll get plenty of immature girls throwing themselves at him because girls are so naive and have been brain washed into thinking that all the good men are taken or married...NOT TRUE!

Girls are their own worst enemy when it comes to finding true romance because they buy into things way to quickly, these so called upfront confident men are just playing/gaming you ladies all they care about is getting your number and then getting you to drop your pants ASAP and BANG its over your now just a number on his list that he's bragging to his friends about, he may seem all confident on the outside BUT on the inside he is anything BUT confident...he is just a PLAYER!

I am a 28 year-old man soon to be married and I can firmly tell you ladies that you will never drawn the attention of a marriage-minded/material man if you base such a high priority on a mans outer confidence when your looking for "Mr. Right" The number one thing women should look in Mr. Right is his attitude towards women in general, dose he respect women? or dose he see women as his big bang toys?

Every man knows that deep down inside a women really wants a man who she can trust, and respects her and her opinions and all you ladies know it.

I am a finance manager and my soon to be wife is a relationship therapists/marriage counselor and I help assist her in my spare time, so we both know all about this stuff and I can firmly say mature women do not judge a man on his confidence when they are looking for their Mr. Right because they know better that confidence develops over time, it dose not just fall from the sky the second you meet a man.

Anonymous

May 1,2012 at 07:34 pm

I agree with your theory, I see a lot of my girlfriends falling for these quick up front cocky/confident and humorous guys only to be left heart broken time and time again. There is no question women love men who are confident BUT it is defiantly not the top priority we look for in a man when we first meet him or have a personal encounter, unless we are super insecure and have no self esteem. My top priority for Mr. Right is honesty.

Kurt

April 2,2012 at 04:19 am

I think it is ironic that women say they will reject a man who is not "comfortable in his own skin," which apparently means he is somewhat lacking in self-confidence. When a man like that does become "comfortable in his own skin," he is likely to be the one rejecting the type of woman who reject him now.

Anonymous

May 1,2012 at 07:57 pm

That's because those women who are rejecting him now are very insecure and they never grow out of their high end maintenance check lists, these ladies have been brain washed by modern society that "all the good guys are gone" which is so naive it's not even funny.

Anonymous

April 2,2012 at 05:31 pm

comment1

Luc

March 5,2012 at 03:47 pm

I have to say confidance is HUGE HUGE! It makes women feel comfortable, breaks down barriers. I have noticed HUGE changes in my life when dating women now. I approach them as people, humans, not some judging panel. Maybe i can learn something, maybe they can-maybe we can laugh together....??? laughing is awesome and breaks down barriers for sure-- I don't expect a phone number, a date but i do expect to engage in some conversation first, making her feel herself, comfortable, relaxed-- the rest comes on its own...

Anonymous

May 1,2012 at 08:10 pm

Confidence is NOT the key man, its your attitude towards the ladies that is driving your success, you see them as people and NOT sex toys which is what most of these so called up front confident & cocky/humorous men see ladies as.
Ladies can not resist a man who simply sees her first and for most as a human being and not a toy.

Caz

January 28,2012 at 10:15 pm

Not making eye-contact is not always a sign of insecurity. Any psychologist or "expert" that tells it is is not deserving of their reputation. According to just about everyone who knows me, I'm a very confident, secure man, but until I'm comfortable around someone I'm wanting to be friends or more with, I won't make direct eye contact a lot. Many animals have similar behaviors; they won't make direct eye contact until they are certain of the new presence near them. This is not a lack of confidence or security.

Anonymous

May 1,2012 at 08:14 pm

Very true! its a shame that ladies buy into these things so quickly from their insecurities and naive brains.

Our friend David is just selling his product which caters to all the PLAYERS!


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