Demystifying the Single Woman
Ever wonder what goes on inside the single woman's mind when it comes to dating? It's not as dark, mysterious, or scary as you might think. In fact, by getting to know what and how we think, you may just discover a thing or two that'll make trying to date us easier. Then again...
We’re not all about looks, so you shouldn't be either
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We like it when you make the first move (but if you don't, we might)
We realize it's hard for a guy to know when to approach us, especially when we're out and about with our estrogen pack (or as we like to say, on a Girls' Night Out). But when we separate ourselves from the herd, make eye contact, and smile, we're giving you the go-ahead to approach. And if you don't respond? If we're feeling particularly confident and cute that night, we just might approach you. And when we do, give us a chance. After all, we're going out on a limb. If you're not interested, that's perfectly fine, but let us down gently. We can handle rejection, but we'd appreciate a certain level of respect when being rejected. (Thanks!)
You don't have to be a pickup artist to get our phone number
We know all about The Game, but did you know that you don't need to employ pickup artist tactics to get our phone number? In fact, it's pretty safe to say that by the time we graduate college, we're no longer looking for some guy who's got game. We're smart, driven, independent, and fun-loving individuals with brains who'd much rather hear your most genuine How are you? over How you doin'? any day. (Honest!)
Material things don't impress us
Unless you want to date a gold digger (and if so, good luck!), don't try to show off on a date by flaunting your material possessions. Expensive cars, bling accessories, and a pocket full of cash just don't impress us. We have our own money, our own homes, our own lives. If we're worth your time, we're not looking for someone to bankroll our lifestyle. Instead, what impresses us is kindness, consideration, and a sense of humor. Plus, when it comes to finances, we'd much rather date a guy who lives within his means and is planning for his future than someone who always has to have the latest gadget or ride but can't seem to pay off his credit card.
Other games we hate
We don't mind if you play video games recreationally, but if your Zelda obsession becomes 24/7, holds our living room hostage, or in any other way negatively affects our relationship with you, chances are good that we won't stick around for long. And if you do by some chance find a cute, smart, funny girl who's also a gamer? She may just be the Holy Grail. (Don't screw it up.)
Honesty really is the best policy
If you want to feel the wrath of the single woman, lie to her. But trust us -- you don't want to do that. In fact, to get on our good side all you need to do is be honest. If you're not going to call us, don't say that you are. If we ask if you're dating other people and you are, tell us. We're big girls who would much rather hear you tell us the truth -- even if it's not what we want to hear -- than be lied to and misled. (Besides, we just might be dating other people too.)
We don't all have marriage and babies on the brain
Yes, we sometimes over-analyze everything you say. And yes, there are usually three days a month that we're pretty bitchy. But believe it or not, we're not all wired with wedding bells on the brain. In fact, a lot of women actually enjoy being single. So contrary to what you might currently think, we don't spend our first dates picking out china patterns in our heads. We're actually paying attention to you, listening and getting to know you to decide if you're worthy of a second date. Go ahead, be worthy (or not). But most important, be yourself. That'll make our decision easier.
So there you have it. A glimpse inside the single woman's mind. Once you know what makes us tick, dating us is a snap. Or at least a little bit easier…
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160 Comments View this thread in our community
cal_dude
June 5,2010 at 10:53 amBack to the original article. I'd like to have the phone number of a woman it describes. :D
chemgal
June 5,2010 at 10:43 amWe've discussed in this in multiple other threads but, while many women want nice guys, we don't want bitter "nice" guys who've decided we won't like them anyway.
jayjay
June 5,2010 at 10:42 amThat you need to look for women somewhere other than a club. Are those really the women you want? Just a thought. :)
opnova
June 5,2010 at 10:35 amI agree that women want bad guys, not nice guys. I have a friend who I hung out with at the clubs for several years. He always acted like a jerk, and he always got phone numbers, dates, one nighters, and multiple nighters. I almost always went home alone. I'm not a "player" by nature, but I always heard the same excuses, that I was too nice. If women truly want a nice guy, then act like it. Us nice guys are shy and have trouble approaching you. We try but when we see you with jerks and enjoying it, what are we supposed to think?
signmeup2
April 18,2010 at 09:07 amI agree with webdogg comments about women, its a thousand percent true. However, the article is about demystifying a woman's "mind". Everything the writer says here is true, in their mind, however people don't buy what they should, they buy what they want, so when the bad boy comes along it's their emotion that makes them gravitate toward him. And they do... Now if that's not complicated enuf, once they have their bad boy now they want to change him to being the nice guy. So my advice is this; put out the bad boy on the lure and give them what they want, don't worry its only temporary, remember we're dealing with women they are sure to change their mind, and when they start nagging you to be more like the person you already are, it'll be an easy transition and you'll be one step ahead again. Live wisely, love well.
webbdog88
April 15,2010 at 11:51 amthis is typical of most women yes they say that they do not want a hunk just a nice guy with a good job well guys you know the old lines if you have been looking around and i am here to say most of this article just ain't true they all want the bad boy the guy who treats them like sh*t. how do i know this i have been out there trying to date online offline what ever if you are not a pretty boy, a jerk that they can rehabilitate 80% just will not give you the time of day. I will be the first to say i do not fit either of those categorizes i am overweight (yes trying to lose it) and i am a nice guy and no feel free all you women who will not give me the time of day to tell me why i am wrong
kruser
April 15,2010 at 09:05 amHonesty needs to go two ways. I recently moved to Chicago, after getting to know my new settings, I started going out more to meet new people (other than those at my new job). I had plenty of great conversations, trying to keep them light and fun, got several phone numbers from girls who said they'd like it if I called, but when I did, no one ever picked up/responded to my messages (I only left one message, I figure the ball is in their court now and more would seem like I was desparate, am I correct in that assumption?). If you don't think you're interested/don't want me to call, simply tell me instead of leading me down a path to a bigger let down.
I will say it's good to know a "How are you?" is better than some pick up line, I've always thought those were terrible and a sign of a sleezy guy, a category I do not want to placed in!
outlaw1
June 28,2009 at 06:44 amOriginally Posted by olivia_r
Clearly written by a female to maintain the Female Agenda. "...be honest"? Oh yeah that'll work. Dear, I slept with your best friend. Run that around the block & see how it works. The female drive to get the male to be honest is so she can have more control of ghe situation while she will be honest when she feels like it. "Material things don't impress us". Which planet does that exist on? You see gorgeous babes flocking to wealth by the busload. Sure a guy can do fine with just a little charm. But, try drivinging up to her fancy home in a beat up '82 Chevette. If she says she is not impressed with material things, let's see how she fields that display. Maybe not all women have marriage on the brain. But, at some point in the relationship, whether months or years, she will bring the subject of marriage to the fore. She's a woman. She wants kids. She wants a man to father them. Yes, some will settle for artificial insemination - but those women probably were not dating anyway. Otherwise there were some good comments re. you really do not need a pickup line. "Hello" works amazingly well. As for sitting around some lady's living room playing video games: that is just rude.
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Originally Posted by Ranimal
The "Female Agenda"? Do you mean the Female desire to have a relationship based on trust and honesty or just one without cheating? I might be alone in this, but is it really too much to ask to have a relationship without the sex with the best friend? A woman's desire for honesty certainly does not come from a desire for control the relationship, but rather a desire to feel safe in the relationship she is in, and if you are honest with her than she will be honest with you. I'm not saying that all women follow this rule. I'm sorry, we are not perfect, but when you do find that perfect girl, I hope you can build your relationship on honesty and trust because thats the only way it can last.
As for the material things. I agree and disagree. Most women, disregarding the shallow, gold-digger types, don't need a millionaire. I'm not looking for someone wiht a Ferari and a yacht. That doesn't mean I like a old beater. I want someone who can take care of me and support me, but I'm realistic, and honestly, cute personality and charm are much more important.
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Buzzzzzzzzzz! Sorry but the political correct software editor has trapped these answers. Return home immediatly to be re-programed. I repeat the Homeland Security will be visiting you in five, four, three...
{crashing noises as six agents come barging in, smashing thru the window, crashing thru the roof, dogs barking, cats meowing, girls screaming and a boy who refuses to move away from his marathon computer game...}
outlaw1
June 28,2009 at 06:33 am"Excellent propaganda comrades! We have all the males fooled...now is the time to steal the diamonds! Go, go go go. In teams of two, sneak up, disable the security and get us back the African 500 carat Ruby. Gosh it's so easy to brainwash and distract males...oh wait, this isn't going over the wire is it? You fool, they caught us..."
01journeyman01
January 22,2009 at 08:25 pmIt has been my personal experience that when a young lady likes me and tells others so, then she lets friends & family memebers change her mind instead of following her original instincts. This is fustrating. I am not half as bad as i appear to be but few take the time to see for themselves.
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