Twelve of the Smartest Things You Can Do to Encourage Success on eHarmony
As with most things in life, managing expectations is the key to a positive experience on eHarmony. Sure, some people meet their soulmate on the very first match, but it isn't likely. Some people have a constant flow of great dates, but you may have some duds along the way. Some people never get closed out for no reason, but it could easily happen to you. There may be bumps along the way, but it's a process that works.
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Anonymous
May 12,2012 at 09:39 amummm maybe we need to be able to know who is actually subscribing to this outrageously expensive service so we can know if they actually are able to read our messages!
Just some chick
May 11,2012 at 04:44 pmAny opinions or advice for this one?
I've been corresponding daily with a guy on eH for a little over a week (one of the first ones). He complimented my photo and that got the ball rolling. I liked his, too. We exchanged flirtatious messages and he even specifically said that he liked and looked forward to my e-mails. I felt the same about his.
He e-mailed me this past Wed. that he wanted to meet up on Thurs., but I legitimately could not due to one work and one social obligation. It had nothing to do with a date or even a male friend. I let him know how appreciative I was of the invitation and that it made my day, but that I couldn't make it only on that particular day. Also, I mentioned that any other time and listed a few days of availability. Maybe I should not have, but I sent him a follow-up e-mail when I got home on Thurs. night just for good will, but I don't know if he saw it that way. Fri. morning when I logged in, he had closed me out.
As a practical and logical person, I know everything doesn't work out _for_ or _with_ everyone. But I never had a chance to explain that I really liked him and wanted to meet, and that's the part that's hard to swallow. Maybe we wouldn't hit it off in person, but I never had the chance to find out. I know, wah wah wah, but I'm actually disappointed to be closed out so soon just because I said "not then but another time" without even another chance. What gives? Is this just a game? ???
Anonymous
May 14,2012 at 11:48 amThat has happened to me as well. I think that if a person with whom you have showed promise suddenly shuts you out, all the better as you have learned by it in the process.
Janet
May 13,2012 at 07:30 pmHey Just...
I don't think it is any loss. Anybody who is interested for the right reasons will give you ALL the time you need. On a site where you are supposed to be matched on "several deep levels", one week of chatting with someone really doesn't seem like much time to establish anything deep. I don't mean to sound so matter-of-fact, but don't rush into anything. Yes, while it is easy to get excited over actually meeting and feeling a connection immediately with someone on this expensive, often misleading site, the fact is that there are plenty of good men who will give you your space and time to figure things out. I hope this helps. Don't feel badly~he clearly has ulterior motives and is in a bigger hurry than what may even be within your comfort zone.
Ken
May 11,2012 at 07:06 pmMaybe he found someone else, maybe he just don't like to be told no, in all probability he just decided you were not worth any more of his time. His behavior was not "practical" or "logical", just move on and don't try to figure him out, his type of behavior is not the last you will encounter.
Just some chick
May 13,2012 at 06:01 pmKen,
Thank you for your response. It is always helpful to get a man's perspective when these types of questions come up. And I agree with your assessment that I was looking for a "practical" or "logical" explanation that, truthfully, I will probably never get.
Also, if the tables were turned and I was "just not that into" someone I don't honestly know if I would just drop off or send an explanation. In my short time here, I've experienced both from the man, but I know that not everyone is going to follow up if they just drop you. You and Marie both gave sensible feedback, and I thank you for the time you took to do so. Have a good evening.
Susan Anderson
May 7,2012 at 02:30 pmI just became a paid member...funny thing is the night that I called to join, is was 44.00 a month...the next day they're was "special" rate of 20.00 for 3 months.....The "location" thing has been a disaster....even though I requested up to 120 miles away.....these men are 3 and 4 hours away from me........I have closed at last 70 matches......for different reasons....the photos are not clear, no smiles, with lots of other women in the pic....some look drunk, some pics are from 1981.....Is this how a man thinks a woman should see him for the first time?
After a while the profiles seem generic......except for the guys who hate their x wives........they make sure you know it.
Everyday...I think about quitting the site... it's a mess.
Ken
May 11,2012 at 07:08 pmYou just have to look for the good possibilities and ignore the rest.
janet
May 8,2012 at 04:55 pmSusan,
LOL to the pics from 1981. I had a "match" today (I'm in PA, he's in KS~so close, right? My settings are for 120 miles...geez...) whose age was listed as 51 but one of his profile pics showed him blowing out birthday candles from his "40th." Maybe it was a joke, like, "Hey! You don't look a day over 40!", but I doubt it. Do they think we can't do the math? Oh no, that's right. We CAN do the math. Just check the CAPTCHA results at the bottom of the page.
Just some chick
May 26,2012 at 07:32 pmLOL, Janet! Really liked your comment about "doing the math" with the reference to the "forced" math (or should I call it "guided math") we have to complete to prove we are a human being before we can make a comment on these articles. _Excellent_ observation! :)
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