Counting Down the Biggest Dating Pet Peeves

and liars should be on pet peeve of sure - if I see it (pretend more that they are or just lie about something else, even as a joke), it is a huge turn off

NickD1982, I didn't realize that there are regular guys out there who don't have sex with various women and/or engage in a fast relationship in order to get in bed and/or have the comfort of being in a relationship. The only ones who engage in conservative moral values with regards to sex that I know of are uber religious. I applaud your authenticity and respectfulness. I also appreciate that you go back and look at responses to your posts. I hope you find a fantastic woman who is worth your care and respect.

Liars. Could we put liars or lying on the pet peeve list? Or, how about disappearing? Could we put people who think just dropping off the face of the earth is the appropriate/polite way to end a relationship. Grab your boobs or your balls and end it like a real person. Say something like, I don't think we're compatible, good luck out there. Big damn deal; it's so rude and childish to just stop returning emails/calls after 2 weeks with no indication things weren't fine.

You know, I went out on a few dates with guys who thought they were the nice guys and kind of had a chip on their shoulders because they felt like women went for the bad boys. I was actually directly confronted by a guy like this. The problem was though, he was laying it on too thick. He told me I was beautiful five times that night while trying to look deeply into my eyes. Honestly, I'm an adult woman and I don't need that much validation! And what am I supposed to say in return? That is not a conversation! Saying "You look great!" once is all I need. Also, his earnest efforts to be a gentleman was his top priority. If he gave that kind of priority to a good conversation and trying to get me to and giving me a chance to get to know him, I might have gone out with him again. He actually just came off immature and disingenuine. He also came off like he was trying to compensate for something or be insecure. I can get the door for myself after all. I really appreciate gentlemen and only date nice guys. However, when it's overkill, it comes off as a person covering up for a lack of substance or interesting conversation to bring to the table.

On the first date this individual arrived at the afternoon "date" a full 45 minutes late. He was inebriated and never mind, my reaction, he was in a beautiful public arboretum having driven 104 plus miles to meet me. It was Easter day and there were innocent children enjoying this lush green atmosphere when "my eharmony lush" who claimed to only drink once a a week appeared. Anything might have happened to destroy someones family in his driving which could never be forgotten. He and I sat on a bench a short time (10 minutes or so) before he said "at risk of being rude,".....he was dumping me for not being what he was looking for......I would have liked more time to have passed so I could be sure he was up to the journey out of the parking lot and the interstate highway journey ahead.......I am not in control of another's actions and if I had been able to see his cars license plate number I would have alerted authorities. I calmly kept my voice modulated and tried to "buy" a few minutes more time for the alcohol effects to lessen but I was aware that road rage might also be a factor in engaging him in further talk. Yes, I scrupiously screened him before the date...to the best of my mature ability...but we were down to the wire on public safety issues...I suggested he might like to see a bit more of the Arboretum before leaving pointing to an area ahead where many people were enjoying the view....he refused.....and walked off ......he closed me out of eHarmony and that is fine. I just wonder if I should have done any quicker thinking as there were no park rangers nearby to deter his driving off. One date down.....my first since my husband died. I am posting for my own reminder and for others as well.

I'd like to comment on the stereotype of individuals out there. I am a male who, by all standards keep things real. Time and time again, I've been told by many woman, I am the type of guy they want for a relationship, but wont pursue it. They instead are dating good lookers who will cheat on them (about 90% of them do), and they get angry and I am the "Nice" guy to hear them complain and cry. I am the shoulder they cry on. Now thinking about it, there are over a dozen different woman who portray that. I am a man of morals. Listed below are my morals and my own rules I life buy.

1. Call me old fashion, but first few days, there is never any question. The man (me) will pay for the date. It is the gentlemen thing to do.

2. Dating takes time. After a few days, I know if I want to pursue a more close relationship or just let it go.

3. I don't sleep around. I've had my opportunities for one night stands and quickies, but I pass them up. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 27 when I was with (that I thought) the right woman. Once the conversation has presented itself to continue on with a relationship and having it be one and only, then I am open to that frontier. Not sooner.

4. In a relationship, cheating and drugs is an instant, I walk away and never talk to you again. Dealt with both, don't need it. Everything in a relationship can be talked about, compromised, or tolerated (to some degree) but never drugs and especially cheating.

5. I am a great listener. But sometimes, I like my words to be heard. It isn't often, but I can tell if my partner really does care for me, because she will listen to me and not turn it around.

6. Stable. First and foremost, I am not here to take care of someone, nor their children. I have had dates that tried to put on a show and not be themselves just to impress me. I see through that. If I fall for a respectable woman with children, I shall treat their children like my own. I am not their father, but I have no problem being a father figure if necessary. My partner has to contribute to the relationship, and not just sponge off me. I see that a lot also.

7. I am big into chivalry. One of the reasons why I have so many woman say to me, they want a guy just like me. I never question, doubt, or complain if my partner or close friend needs to be rescued. Whether your stranded on the road, or drunk and can't drive. I am there.

So you see. I, as an individual here, can relate to pet peeves, but my biggest one is the stereotypes. It goes without showing, after a co worker said to me. "It's fun now, when you have the looks, energy, and spark... but as you get older, you can't rely on that." That is very true. As we get older and mature, we need emotional commitment, to know we can rely on each other, and that the love that is there is not because of physically attractiveness, but being with a person for who they are and their actions.