14 Facts You Should Never Share on a First Date

by eHarmony Staff


"Financially, I'm doing great/awful." (1/14)

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Many people draw conclusions about others based on their income, investments, family wealth (or poverty), and so on. You want to be evaluated on who you are—your personality, beliefs, ambitions—not your income-generating potential. This goes for in-depth conversation that may conspicuously point out your wealth. (“I do like to summer at my home in San-Tropez.”)

Next: "My last relationship was a disaster."



157 Comments View this thread in our community


seekerd

February 2,2011 at 12:37 pm

 Who makes all these rules? And using the universal language "never" makes the article even less believable.

CrazyNotStupid

November 30,2011 at 12:38 am

If I used coupons and went on a dinner date where I was buying dinner, I wouldnt even ask my date if she "minded" me using a coupon. I would use them discreetly and it would be none of her business. And if she thought using coupons was 'cheap', then she's free to dig for AU elsewhere. Hey! What a great idea! I should actually find and use coupons just to rule out the gold diggers!
This article has good advice, but they're not rules. The term "rule" gives the list an air of officialdom, where none exists.

Anonymous

December 8,2011 at 03:12 pm

Well played CrazyNotStupid!! A long time friend of mine does just that...and for that reason or too be cocky/funny....go with it....E-harmoney is far from the expert..these are not RULES and if they were, the cliche' holds ture....they are made to be bent, broken and shattered!!!!

Anonymous

December 19,2011 at 04:19 pm

I work in the restaurant industry, and coupons are incredibly annoying to servers. If my date used a coupon on a first date, there would likely not be a second (ps - same goes for tipping the server. If you know your date has ever served, show respect for the profession and tip well, or there will be no date two). This is not because I'm a gold-digger. I'm not against couponing, but I am not a fan of restaurant "grouponing" - and if you brought me to a restaurant because you had a coupon for it, you're probably not the "thoughtful" guy I'm looking for.

Gary

December 25,2011 at 10:41 pm

Just because you are a server does not mean others you go out with should tip well. I worked in that industry too for 7 years while going to college and I always tipped based upon the service provided--you are not entitled to it.

Also, the coupons are meant to bring business into the store and someone that is trying to save money, does not make them non-deserving of a second date. In fact, my experience was that the people tipped more because there bill was less--and a server gets paid mostly by tips.

Back to the matter at hand. How can you construe "thoughfulness" for an individual that uses a coupon--there is no basis for your statement at a logical level--you just have an issue because you do not like coupons being used to you transfer that on their personality. This seems very "OCish."

That being said, I rarely use coupons, because I eat a places that usually do not have to use them in order to get business but if they did, I would. I know many professional women that would not be adverse to that.

This is just your personal bias--notice I did not say prejudice. I laud people that try to save money when they can.

Lindy

December 28,2011 at 05:44 pm

Gary. I appreciate your professional and mature response. Kudos. Customer service makes a great business thrive and its easy to see when the server is being superficial. In relationships being a phony doesnt fly either. The person you responded to needs to get some experience under her belt and a reality like you tactfully did more often to understand.

Gary Smead

January 23,2012 at 09:12 pm

Thank you Lindy. I would also like to point out that service is a variable not a constant. I have had some of the poorest service in places like Nevada; the servers are unionize. Where tips are mandatory, it is then not obligatory to give the best service, just enough to keep your job. When you have an incentive, usually, you work harder becasue the reward is greater

Gary

J00bz

January 30,2012 at 09:19 pm

I love these comments.

And I just added a new word to my personal lexicon. Thanks Gary.

:-)

Keith

December 29,2011 at 11:13 pm

Well they may be more entitled to tips than you think...

The government, at least in Canada, assumes that servers earn tips and garnishes a minimum (I think it was 10% when I worked in the industry in '94) amount for their tips on their tax forms.

Here is a snippit regarding this practice:

"Workers who receive tips are legally required to report the income to the Canada Revenue Agency and pay income tax on it. In Quebec, the provincial government automatically taxes servers 8% of their sales whether a gratuity was received or not."

So even if the server doesn't make tips, or doesn't claim them, the government still treats it like they earned a minimum amount on their taxes. It's one of the only industries where this happens.

In some places in the states it is lawful for the business owner to actually take the servers total tips and subtract it from the hourly wage they owe the employee. So if minimum wage is $6, and the employee made the equivalent of $5/hr in tips on a given pay week...the employer would only have to pay the employee $1/hr to add up to the promised $6/hr total.

I think thats a good reason to be more lenient with your wallet when it comes time to tip. I have nothing at all against withholding a tip for bad service, but I do believe that barring a horrible experience that people should give at least a 10% gratuity, or more if they are exceptional. As for the US practice of adding gratuity in as part of an emplyees wages I think that is completely ridiculous and the practice should become illegal.

Jimmy

January 23,2012 at 06:19 pm

The fact that the legislature sets someone's wages at a certain level doesn't *entitle* them to any of my money, sorry. If people have a problem with the wage laws, let them run for office and change them, or find a different line of work. I spent some time waiting tables - it's a tough grind, especially at the entry level. Take what you can get and move on when you can.

That said - good service should be rewarded, especially if it's a place you plan on going again. But if a waiter's giving bad service, you don't owe them anything.


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