Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #1  October 27,2011, 11:33pm
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Are you the captain of your vessel? How can you take credit for the shore you land on if you didn’t put the boat in the water?

Discuss!
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #2  October 28,2011, 7:23am
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I've been praying that a large, aquatic animal will swallow me live/whole and take me somewhere I really need to be... Does that count as controlling my destiny?
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #3  October 28,2011, 7:58am
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harnomygirl wrote :
I've been praying that a large, aquatic animal will swallow me live/whole and take me somewhere I really need to be... Does that count as controlling my destiny?
The story about the whale is one of my favorites.
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #4  October 28,2011, 8:05am
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I wish I could more like those who live in the moment. I need to know that the world I know today will be here tomorrow. I need that to function. How can you plan anything if you don’t know whether or not you are going to be able to pay your rent or mortgage tomorrow?

What happens when the world you experience today isn’t the world that exists for you tomorrow? How do people who believe that they control, no, create their destiny deal with abrupt changes in their reality, like loss of a loved one, divorce, getting fired or are all these things seen as a part of their plan?
 
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llw11 is offline llw11 Post #5  October 28,2011, 8:27am
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Diana_P wrote :
I wish I could more like those who live in the moment. I need to know that the world I know today will be here tomorrow. I need that to function. How can you plan anything if you don’t know whether or not you are going to be able to pay your rent or mortgage tomorrow?

What happens when the world you experience today isn’t the world that exists for you tomorrow? How do people who believe that they control, no, create their destiny deal with abrupt changes in their reality, like loss of a loved one, divorce, getting fired or are all these things seen as a part of their plan?
bah!! living in the moment is overrated, . nothing is absolute in life, i.e. we don't have absolute control of our destiny nor do we have no control whatsover. life, unfortunately is about uncertainty and humans (matter of fact, all lifeforms for that matter) are all about adapting and being resilient...that's how we made it this far. those that didn't became extinct.

we do have control of the choices we make, but every choice has a consequence and we have to be prepared to deal with them.

from a spiritual/eternal standpoint, i personally think we have little control. we had no control over the family/environment we were born into and these things shape who we end up becoming.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #6  October 28,2011, 8:30am
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Diana_P wrote :
I wish I could more like those who live in the moment. I need to know that the world I know today will be here tomorrow. I need that to function.
I try to live in the moment. I've told internet matches that as often as I could, but for some reason no one who's dated me more than once believed it.

You can function knowing that the world changes regardless of your input though. You have been.

Unless you have at least one unchanging goal you're just a leaf traveling with the current. Most people are leaves, or sheep being herded by a collie that cares nothing about the individual.

Maybe you should pick a few points and stick to them. I really believe that's the only quality leaders have, and everyone seems to admire them for it. Maybe that is what it means to control your destiny.

I can't. I wish I could.

Life is still incredibly interesting without that though.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #7  October 28,2011, 9:13am
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Diana_P wrote :
Are you the captain of your vessel? How can you take credit for the shore you land on if you didn’t put the boat in the water?
I am captain of my ship. It's true I didn't put the boat in the water (no choice WRT my birth) and there is a chance my life could be taken against my will (trying to get past the mods here)

But otherwise, yes; I control what happens in between; I control my destiny.

Diana_P wrote :
What happens when the world you experience today isn’t the world that exists for you tomorrow? How do people who believe that they control, no, create their destiny deal with abrupt changes in their reality, like loss of a loved one, divorce, getting fired or are all these things seen as a part of their plan?
We found out my husband was sick, and two weeks later he died. They told us every day they weren't going to be able to save him. I never believed; I was in shock. And then he did...die. And just like that...it was all gone.

My sister told me "If you don't find the good in it, you won't survive." I thought she was crazy, but then she told me how it was for her when her grandbaby died when he was eight days old. She thought about the six-eight babies that received her grandbaby's organs.

I started writing poetry about a year after my husband died. The first one I wrote told about my discovery that he had saved some cards I had given him through the years; it spoke of what it meant to me...to find those cards.

Even I knew it was good. I wrote more and more, and some have been published, including the first...still my favorite. I would never have discovered I could write...if he hadn't died, and he hadn't saved those cards for me to find.

Poetry is my Gift of Bereavement; I found the "good" in it...just as my sister said.

j8a
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #8  October 28,2011, 11:19am
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I have had many men write me bad poetry throughout my life. After each relationship ended, I still wasn't any better at writing it myself.

Finding the good doesn't always work that way.

I do see your point though and I look for positive lessons from each experience. I don't think that's how I'm mean to shape my destiny though.
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #9  October 28,2011, 1:26pm
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llw11 wrote :
bah!! living in the moment is overrated, . nothing is absolute in life, i.e. we don't have absolute control of our destiny nor do we have no control whatsover. life, unfortunately is about uncertainty and humans (matter of fact, all lifeforms for that matter) are all about adapting and being resilient...that's how we made it this far. those that didn't became extinct.

we do have control of the choices we make, but every choice has a consequence and we have to be prepared to deal with them.

from a spiritual/eternal standpoint, i personally think we have little control. we had no control over the family/environment we were born into and these things shape who we end up becoming.
I agree.
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #10  October 28,2011, 1:28pm
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harnomygirl wrote :
I try to live in the moment. I've told internet matches that as often as I could, but for some reason no one who's dated me more than once believed it.

You can function knowing that the world changes regardless of your input though. You have been.

Unless you have at least one unchanging goal you're just a leaf traveling with the current. Most people are leaves, or sheep being herded by a collie that cares nothing about the individual.

Maybe you should pick a few points and stick to them. I really believe that's the only quality leaders have, and everyone seems to admire them for it. Maybe that is what it means to control your destiny.

I can't. I wish I could.

Life is still incredibly interesting without that though.
This makes me wonder how much difference it would make if we could control our destiny.
 
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