An open mind or compromised principles?


View Poll Results: Would you date outside of your religious affiliation?
I could never date someone with a different belief system. 5 38.46%
I would as long as we could accept and respect each others beliefs. 5 38.46%
I would, but I would simply hold my spiritual life seperate from the relationship. 0 0%
I don't care about religious affiliation. 3 23.08%
Voters: 13. You may not vote on this poll

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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #1  August 28,2011, 6:38pm
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Does anyone have experience dating outside their religious affiliation? If so, what sort of conflicts have you dealt with? Did you agree to disagree or simply avoid the subject? Did it bother you that your partner thought you were going to hell, or that they hadn't seen the light of faith that's so important to you?

Is dating someone who doesn't share your faith a sign of an open mind or a sign of compromised principles?
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #2  August 28,2011, 7:01pm
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I have mostly dated within my own faith as a matter of choice, but my bf isn't the same religion as I. For me, it is something of a compromise. On different days, we handle it differently. Sometimes we talk about it; sometimes we avoid it. Honestly, it bothers me a lot more than it does him as he is not really religious and I actually do worry about him.
 
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suzyque is offline suzyque Post #3  August 28,2011, 7:35pm
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For me it is the latter. I couldn't date someone of a different faith, or no faith, for the simple reason that the Bible says to not be unequally yoked (2Corinthians). I also think it avoids a lot of potential future problems. I've even gone so far as to avoid the Christmas, Easter Christians in name only, as I prefer someone who shares my commitment to my faith. It's not always easy as there are a lot of great non Christian men out there to tempt me.
 
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AudioDad is offline AudioDad Post #4  August 29,2011, 8:26am
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Never really been an issue for me, though, a few years ago I dated a woman who was Catholic. My dating profile clearly stated that I was an atheist so she knew she knew up front what my views were. My profile also stated that I had no problem dating women who were religious as long as they had no issues with it - my assumption at the time being that everyone should be adult enough to respect each others' views. You know the old saying about assuming......

At first she seemed ok with my views and I tried to avoid discussions of faith and religion. Unfortunately, she seemed to view my lack of belief as a challenge and apparently came to view me as her personal home ministry project....I desperately needed to be "saved" as far as she was concerned. The end result was predictable and the relationship never got very far. I wished her well and moved on.

I do still think it's possible for two people to have a relationship even though their world views may be very different. Ultimately, it requires both people to place greater importance on the relationship than their respective ideologies.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #5  August 29,2011, 9:27am
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I've had relationships with women of incompatible religions, even a woman who took on church leadership roles. It's quite simple--so long as they don't believe in their own religion. Many people list a religion in their profile but only follow it for family, tradition, as a loose social code, for benefits such as employment or travel, et cetera. I would never have a relationship with a woman who genuinely believed I was going to be punished in the afterlife for being true to myself. That would lead to some very awkward child-rearing conversations!

None of your poll answers fit me.
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #6  August 29,2011, 4:38pm
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I was talking to a friend of mine and I made a religious comment in passing like, “well that just shows the mercy of God” or something to that effect. She took offense. I mean she really got angry. She said why do you do that Diana? Do what I asked. Then she said why do you always have to put God in every conversation we have? I didn’t know how to answer her and I didn’t really understand why she got so upset.

Then she said you get offended when I take the Lord’s name in vain or if I make some obscene sexual reference right - - can’t you understand that I get sick of you always trying to shove your god nonsense down my throat? I think she was just having a bad day and it may have been you know her monthly visitor too. But wow!

So I get that if differences in religion can wear on a good friendship it has the potential to corrode a romantic relationship especially if either person is strongly polarized.

I wasn’t trying to convert my friend (at least not that day, LOL) but I think in a romantic situation both people would have to agree that conversion is off limits and religious discussion, if it occurs, has to be agreed upon how far it will go.
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #7  August 29,2011, 8:18pm
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Diana_P wrote :
I was talking to a friend of mine and I made a religious comment in passing like, “well that just shows the mercy of God” or something to that effect. She took offense. I mean she really got angry. She said why do you do that Diana? Do what I asked. Then she said why do you always have to put God in every conversation we have? I didn’t know how to answer her and I didn’t really understand why she got so upset.

Then she said you get offended when I take the Lord’s name in vain or if I make some obscene sexual reference right - - can’t you understand that I get sick of you always trying to shove your god nonsense down my throat? I think she was just having a bad day and it may have been you know her monthly visitor too. But wow!

So I get that if differences in religion can wear on a good friendship it has the potential to corrode a romantic relationship especially if either person is strongly polarized.

I wasn’t trying to convert my friend (at least not that day, LOL) but I think in a romantic situation both people would have to agree that conversion is off limits and religious discussion, if it occurs, has to be agreed upon how far it will go.
I can sympathize Diana. My religious friends and I have adopted a similar policy. They won't try to witness to me as long as I shut up about evolution and cosmology. It works pretty well for friendships, but not so well in my past relationships.

It's probably more my problem than my partner's though. If they constantly lecture me about a personal relationship with god, or accepting Jesus as my personal savior or whatever, I feel like they are trying to change me and don't respect my beliefs.

But, oddly, when they are willing to leave the issue alone and accept our differences I get agitated. If they truly care about me, and think I'm going to hell or at least not going to heaven, then shouldn't they be desperate to convince me? Then the arguments start.

I can't ever seem to get on the right side of this issue... assuming there is one. Thanks to everyone for their input.
 
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notamaninpower is offline notamaninpower Post #8  August 30,2011, 12:39pm
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suzyque wrote :
For me it is the latter. I couldn't date someone of a different faith, or no faith, for the simple reason that the Bible says to not be unequally yoked (2Corinthians). I also think it avoids a lot of potential future problems. I've even gone so far as to avoid the Christmas, Easter Christians in name only, as I prefer someone who shares my commitment to my faith. It's not always easy as there are a lot of great non Christian men out there to tempt me.

Yes, just as I could NEVER be in a relationship with a "more moral than thou" biblical literalist/legalist.
 
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PreachersSon is online now PreachersSon Post #9  September 26,2011, 6:03pm
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notamaninpower wrote :
No "hate". You leave me alone, I will do the same.

There might be some "bitterness" due to the treatment and attitude by you right wing Christians (and maybe even the 'mainstream' public) towards non-believers, and that we're generally regarded as second class citizens.

BUT, you, or your extreme RR cronies/pols even attempt to legislate/force your; religion, or 'good book' KJV novel on me (or those like me), may your heaven, and your 'savior' help you.
I rest my case. Bitterness, delusional thinking, playing the victim, and finally, threats of violence over imagined wrongs. Just listen to yourself, and then tell me who has a grudge against who. Anyone who believes that non Christians are treated like second class citizens in the United States today is seriously delusional.
 
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ANDR3W is offline ANDR3W Post #10  September 26,2011, 7:12pm
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PreachersSon wrote :
I rest my case. Bitterness, delusional thinking, playing the victim, and finally, threats of violence over imagined wrongs. Just listen to yourself, and then tell me who has a grudge against who. Anyone who believes that non Christians are treated like second class citizens in the United States today is seriously delusional.
Slow down PreachersSon, its obvious that you have no idea what your talking about.



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Steve Harvey Anti-Atheist Comments Debunked
 
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