Is belief really a choice?

We ARE.....sperm and ovum.............and they carry memory............

Doxastic voluntarism
Doxastic voluntarism is the philosophical position that one has voluntary control over one's beliefs. That is, one can change their beliefs by will and thought alone, implying that we can freely choose to believe or disbelieve anything at will. Note that this isn't about the ability to change a belief - as changing attitudes, maturity or new evidence can lead to a change of mind - but that such an action can be done wilfully at any arbitrary point. Doxastic voluntarism implies that one could change which god their believed in just by walking into a different church.

Pascal's wager
A form of doxastic voluntarism is presumed by Pascal's Wager, which states that it is preferable to believe in God because of the potential outcomes. The wager presumes that God rewards belief just for the sake of belief, but it also requires one to have free reign to control whether they accept the Christian God or not. In practice, many people don't find this to be the case. For example, an atheist can no more willingly and arbitrarily start believing in God than than they could believe that grass is a funny shade of orange. Similarly, committed believers cannot force themselves to disbelieve something. Because of the lack of perfect free will in this situation, Pascal's attempt to coax people into belief through his wager falls at the first hurdle - someone could, at best, only "fake" their belief in God and not truly feel it.

I cried for salvation. I received silence... I live a life, quite happily, knowing that there is no god.

What a strange conclusion. A moment ago I said, "Barrack Obama, come here." He did not come here. To conclude Obama does not exist based on that evidence would be foolish. That would be true even if I used a loudspeaker outside the White House. An alternative explanation--Obama exists but he didn't hear me or has better things to do than to answer.