How to be spiritual, AND dateable at the same time?


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SeenaBeana is offline SeenaBeana Post #1  May 30,2010, 1:25pm
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I'm new to the forum, so not sure if this has been covered before or not, but... here goes.

Over the last 18 months I've really reconnected with my spirituality, and it's not a pretty dominant part of how I live my life. I am not religious, but have been doing a lot of "inner work", dealing with my baggage, and trying to live up to be the best version of myself possible. It means trying to keep a positive attitude, avoid negative self talk, and attract healthier relationships. (I'd been dating various versions of the same man since I was 15 - I am now nearly 30.) I believe in a higher force, that everything happens for a reason (not just the bad things - everything), and I want to inspire and be inspired by my partner.

I have an eH profile, and also put up ads on Craigslist where my spirituality is at the forefront as I'm hoping to find someone likeminded. But I'm not having any luck. I'm wondering if this needs to not be the focus, or how I can highlight it as a priority without making it the predominant part of my postings. Or even better - where I can meet like minded people face to face (Who would've thunk it!?)

Wondering what you guys think....
 
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lenchique is offline lenchique Post #2  May 30,2010, 11:12pm
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the word "spirituality" is incredibly ambiguous. To different people it means different things. If "spirituality" to you means a relationship with God, then I'm certain you can find like minded individuals in your place of worship/church, etc. As far as finding and attracting a guy who shares your spiritual worldview, that requires patience, and if you are a christian, prayer and total surrender/trust in God to bring a partner into your life.

Further, onthe social aspect, keep spirituality important, but dont neglect other aspects of yourself: social relationships, physical activity, intellectual stimulation. I think if you pursue such endeavors (for example if you bike, join a bike club, if you love to read Ayan Rand, join a book club, etc), I am certain that you will begin to meet people that not only share that particular interest, but also your spiritual views. Just be patient, and expand your interests while keeping your spirituality important.
 
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coeuri is offline coeuri Post #3  June 8,2010, 3:40pm
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Sena Beana,
Totally agree with keeping a balance in your life. Having said that though, you need to decide how forefront it should be to you. Having gone through a time when I put it on the burner and having turned back around, I can say that there was something missing where my faith could not be shared.

I have come to a place of peace in being alone for this moment in time and just getting involved with activities that bring joy to myself and allow me to reach out to others.

By being who I am, the person I meet, if I do meet someone someday, is most likely to be someone who shares interests. I have realized though that faith is the break point for me. It means too much to not have an important place in any relationship I am in.

These are my thoughts for my life. If they are any help to your decision making, I am grateful. If not ..... no problem. Thanks for the chance to share.
 
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tamarak is offline tamarak Post #4  June 26,2010, 6:42am
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In my search to better myself and find power I went through several stages of reading and studying that included self-help books, meditation, reading the Bhagavadgita, studying ways to enlightenment, karate and the religious aspects associated with multiple forms of fighting with a straight fist; as well as basically anything I could get my hands on to further my personal development.

Maybe the reason you are having difficulty finding someone "spiritual" is that you have not quite figured out where your spirituality is leading you.

If you are unclear how can you find someone who is like-minded?

What I studied taught me that - if you seek it you cannot find it. I found the one I was diligently seeking- although I had no idea who I was seeking at the time. He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is loving and powerful. His name is Jesus. Have you tried Him?

He wrought the most powerful changes in my life including a spiritual man who is steadfast and true.
(I may keep you posted on this development.)

On a side note:
Sometimes there is a tendency to think Americans created Jesus. We see pictures of Jesus as a white man - although He relates to all -on earth He lived in the heart of the Middle East and was likely dark skinned.
 
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tamarak is offline tamarak Post #5  June 26,2010, 6:49am
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The story of Jesus is in the Bible. It can be the Amplified Bible, the King James Bible, the New King James Bible, New International version (NIV), the Message, or the New Living Translation. Hopefully one or all of these books provide a hyper-link.
 
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tamarak is offline tamarak Post #6  June 26,2010, 6:50am
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Incredibly, none of these did provide a hyperlink so try biblegateway.com
 
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hw1dr is offline hw1dr Post #7  June 26,2010, 9:52pm
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It sounds to me that when you use the word spirituality, you are really referring to self-improvement.

You wrote: "I am not religious, but have been doing a lot of "inner work", dealing with my baggage, and trying to live up to be the best version of myself possible. It means trying to keep a positive attitude, avoid negative self talk, and attract healthier relationships."

I would not call this spirituality. I would call it self improvement, that you're in the process of growth and internal assessment.

Spirituality as a term is ambiguous. Some people would interpret "spirituality" as a quasi -self indulgent search for some definition of god to.... anything else... including harmonic crystals. (which may put people off)

Be specific. In your profile say you're focused on self-improvement and are passionate about being true to your-self. (Or something similar to that) So... go for it
 
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laureng320 is offline laureng320 Post #8  June 26,2010, 10:16pm
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Great replies Newbie! I completely agree that you need to be very specific, and if your "spirituality" is truly that important to you it should definitely be at the forefront of your profile... Don't change who you are just to attract someone because that will attract the wrong people. I also am a Christian and make it very clear that I am looking for a Christian man - I've tried dating people with different beliefs and it has never worked out. And definitely try Jesus, He changed my life as well!
Good luck in your search!
 
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exquisite is offline exquisite Post #9  June 27,2010, 1:21am
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If you are spiritual you do not have to look for a date you are found. Gods people are unique and blessed. If you are honest, respectful, and caring, all the beautiful things in your life will attract
the right person too you. Beautiful minds will then blend together and become one. When god plant a seed it grows into perfection. Remember that you are Eve and for every Eve there is a Adam.
 
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Logomachy is offline Logomachy Post #10  June 28,2010, 7:55am

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I think we are all, whether we are conscious of it or not, children of God or the Spirit. To me when someone says they are spiritual or on a spiritual journey, I think they are in some or another working on the big question of God. Is there a God? What is God? If there is a God what is expected of me? How do I live and stay in tune with this higher being or force?

I see myself as someone who is working on God. But I don't think I would advertise this as what solely or mostly defines who I am as a person, nor would I feel compelled to seek out someone who is spiritual. I would look for someone who is kind, considerate, feminine, sexy, witty and, of course "sugar and spice and everything nice." I think if those qualities are present in another that they are spiritual and perhaps are far more spiritual than myself.
 
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