Christians: Who is free to remarry? Divorcees?


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LookinUp is offline LookinUp Post #1  October 23,2009, 11:38pm
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Wow - so many divorced ladies ...and they seem so wonderful! ...but are they really free to remarry? I have been searching to find out. Im finding that the answer is no in the Bible. Please let me know, bc I am ready to close a bunch of seemingly nice matches based on this one criteria of who God sees as eligible for remarriage.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #2  October 24,2009, 12:28am
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only widows and widowers are free to marry again by "orthodox" christian interpretation. and those whose marriages are declared null and void - which is to say, that altho a wedding took place, it has been determined a marriage did not. this is different from divorce. if you don't attend a church with a governing body to assess whether a wedding achieved marriage, then i'd say this is really a non-issue for you.
 
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i_am_just_me_no_fake is offline i_am_just_me_no_fake Post #3  October 24,2009, 2:40am
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The Bible says the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy. If you were divorced, simply ask God for forgiveness for the mistake and seek happiness again! That's how I read it.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #4  October 24,2009, 3:32am
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God doesn't care.
 
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Ugidali is offline Ugidali Post #5  October 24,2009, 3:28pm
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All things are lawful in this respect, yet all things are not expedient.

The only unpardonable sin is the rejection of Jesus Christ (since it is through Him that we obtain heaven.) So if you are divorced and marry another, it is "just" another sin.

For ministers, the churches often have a guideline that if the minister was divorced by the spouse, then it was out of (his) control and therefore allowed. Remarrying can fall under the same "guideline." IDK if they have it right though. lol

I think it's important to make sure the same failure isn't going to occur in the new marriage though. I also think it's important for children to have two parents raising them. How someone works that out is up to them.

Like Scripture says in this case, since our current laws allow remarriage, it's allowed, but is it really the best thing for your life?

People who are not married, and are Christians, supposedly have more time to worship God. I think that is our main purpose here on earth: to develop a relationship with God and worship Him. But, as Paul said, if you can't keep your mind on God because of your fleshy desires and needs, then marry!
Peace.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #6  October 24,2009, 6:29pm
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  1. Romans 7:2

    For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.
    Romans 7:1-3 (in Context) Romans 7 (Whole Chapter)
This is what the bible says. Should either person divorce they are said to be committing adultery if they remarry. However, David (who killed Goliath) was married to one woman when he saw and desired Bathsheba. He arranged to have her husband killed at war and took her as his wife. David knew he sinned and had to confess it and ask God's forgiveness. God loved David and I think if we confess with our mouths and repent that God will forgive us also. Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #7  October 25,2009, 1:02am
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hmm. according to the rules, forgiveness doesn't make you re-eligible. you can't have two sacramental marriages if your spouse is still alive. it's not a matter of permission; rather, it's just not possible.

but i think it behooves us to realise the world is not perfect. that's a condition that exists outside of us and what we do. we have to make do with what we have and live with the messiness of it.
 
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LookinUp is offline LookinUp Post #8  October 25,2009, 1:23am
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In say, Matthew, is Jesus talking to the Pharisees who are trying to trap Him legalistically - or to you and I, even through we are no longer bound by the law under the new Convenant? Paul says - just bc we know we are forgiven, doesnt mean we should go and sin more.

Also, when Jesus talked to the lady caught in adultery (who was to be stoned), He said neither do I accuse you - but then, "go and sin no more." If we Love God, we obey Him. What am I to obey? Rules? Good intentions (love, being part of family). If marrying a divorcee means that I live in adultery - that is literally the same as me sleeping with my neighbor's spouse!!!

Is that scriptural? Im shocked at what Im learning. That would mean that alot (or all?) remarried people are committing adultery? Gee, you dont hear that message on Sundays - that followed by "go and sin no more" - which would mean leaving them!
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graceventually is offline graceventually Post #9  October 25,2009, 12:18pm
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Jesus forbade divorce, except for adultery, in a society where it was rampant. But he said nothing on the subject of annulments of marriages, which were also common. A lot of times in the first century, someone who had committed a crime was simply treated as an outcast, and this applied to their marriage as well. (There's a vestige of this in American law - in a lot of states one can have a marriage automatically annulled if their spouse is convicted and given a life sentence). Elsewhere in the New Testament, St. Paul implies that one may get divorced if one becomes a Christian and one's spouse does not - if the unbelieving spouse initiates the separation.

There are other reasons for annullments in the Roman Catholic tradition - most of them around marriages that took place under false pretences. In other words, if one's spouse failed to disclose information that would have made you refuse to marry them, then the marriage is null and void.

Back to the OP - rather than closing all those ladies, how about seeing what you learn about what happened in those marriages? My guess is that some of them may not have great reasons for divorce, and this may give you pause. But....some of them will have been left for another woman, or will have left an abuser, or will have just plain been left - and there's not a lot you can do about it if you've been deserted. You'll have to discern what you can about their individual decisions; which I'm sure were taken for a variety of reasons.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #10  October 25,2009, 3:14pm
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LookinUp wrote :
In say, Matthew, is Jesus talking to the Pharisees who are trying to trap Him legalistically - or to you and I, even through we are no longer bound by the law under the new Convenant? Paul says - just bc we know we are forgiven, doesnt mean we should go and sin more.

Also, when Jesus talked to the lady caught in adultery (who was to be stoned), He said neither do I accuse you - but then, "go and sin no more." If we Love God, we obey Him. What am I to obey? Rules? Good intentions (love, being part of family). If marrying a divorcee means that I live in adultery - that is literally the same as me sleeping with my neighbor's spouse!!!

Is that scriptural? Im shocked at what Im learning. That would mean that alot (or all?) remarried people are committing adultery? Gee, you dont hear that message on Sundays - that followed by "go and sin no more" - which would mean leaving them!
Basically what this means is that we no longer are bound by the law of the old testament because the law is written in our hearts and in our minds but the 10 commandments are still the 10 commandments....they are God's law. You are right, you don't hear the message about adultery on Sunday's. If that message was given it would exclude huge portions of congregations and would affect their money offerings...that is just a sad fact. In biblical times the church however did discipline their flock.

I am divorced and I struggle with this alot. The best advice I could give you is to use your own conscience and to go and speak to your pastor. Best wishes.
 
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