Christians: Who is free to remarry? Divorcees?


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suzyque is offline suzyque Post #21  October 26,2009, 8:43pm
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Matthew 19 Jesus teaches about the issue of divorce and remarriage. He talks about how marriage is a spiritual contract entered into between 2 people before God. It is not permissable to break that contract except for two exceptions. The first is sexual immorality (adultery, homosexuality, child abuse etc...of the wayward spouse). The second not mentioned in Matthew but by the apostle Paul is abandonement by an unbelieving spouse. If they just up and leave the Christian is under no obligation to wait around for them to come back. This is something I'm struggling with as well, my wonderful boyfriend, wasn't biblically divorced as far as I can tell. (I was left for another woman, so I'm OK). I find myself making excuses to ease the guilt of seeing him. He is a Christian.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #22  October 27,2009, 12:10am
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i realise you've asked for biblical references, but you know... well, what you think those references say depends a lot on what you think the terms within them really mean.

i think some clarification is in order, and it may be hard to wrap the mind around the concepts depending on your background. you should know, for example, webster's dictionary isn't sufficient background.

on that note:

wrote :
Are you saying most divorcees are NOT free to remarry?
divorced people are not free to remarry. they are not free to marry because there is no such thing as a divorce. divorce does not exist.

you should understand that civil divorce and divorce are not the same thing.

wrote :
if so, its sad that almost all these wonderful women who I am being matched-with -- are ?actually doomed to a life without sharing love?
no, they aren't doomed to a life without sharing love. they are doomed to a life where only one sacramental marriage is possible while both spouses live.

wrote :
See, the scripture that I find in New Testament does NOT allow divorce for abuse, even violence - nor even for being abandoned. Am i reading that correctly?
that's almost correct. what's incorrect in the above is the notion of "allowing." it's not a matter of "allowing." divorce just doesn't exist within the realm of possibility. this is why divorce "isn't allowed." by definition, the impossible cannot be allowed.

to put this another way: you may be reading "allow" to mean "permit." you should read "allow" to mean "acknowledge." as in, we acknowledge the possible and we do not acknowledge the impossible. we don't acknowledge the impossible because it's not possible to do so.

also: annulment isn't permission to "remarry" and it isn't the "stopping" of a marriage. it isn't another word for this imaginary thing called "divorce." annulment is a finding that a person was never married, despite all appearances. this is why annulment can be "allowed," but not divorce.
Last edited by lil_lamb; October 27,2009 at 12:48am.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #23  October 27,2009, 1:30am
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Well, the issues kinda boils down to the act of sex between man and wife being one of his creations for sublime achievements, it is generally felt that within heaven such could not be any less.

Now the conundrum that plague theologians for much time is that were a husband or wife to predecease the other, and the survivor following various other scriptural injuctures marry again.

Well, I’m sure you can see the problem ménage à trois in not being quite what was envisage in heavan. In fact with the ravages of the grim reaper in earlier eras the various possible combinations were enough to make a Bishop weep. A certain female mystic did claim to have had vision of heaven, that while it address some issues posed a number of others. So much so that she was set aflame for Heresy. That seemed to have stifled further debate.

As you can imagine, if the fate of widowers became too hard theological wise, the matter of divorce was just too hard to reconcile. Best to prohibited it and hope the matter went away.

However, a resolution was at hand. More contemporary theologian recognised that the concept of heaven and hell were always social contructs; more to fill the coffers of church and state. Claims of mystics, bishops and raving preachers aside there was never any scriptural basis for such. At best that could be said was that “heaven” was state of being within god’s grace, and “hell” was a voluntary exclusion. And far be it for us mere mortals to suggest there were limits to god’s charity.

Thus, having neatly abolished older styles of heaven and hell, there were obviously no inhibitors to remarriage. Moreover, Darwinist chimed in that monogamist relationships had been one of the strengths of human society, such that societies that practice exclusive unions between man and women prevailed over other forms.

Thus, theologians, zoologist and community leaders are at one with marriage being worthy of support for the good of all, particular with regard raring of children, care for the elderly and higher still economic attainment.

In short, no one that counts really cares if divorced folk seek to solemnise their union, in fact most of us celebrate it. Go ye and marry if you will.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #24  October 27,2009, 8:42am
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May I share with you a favorite passage about God from Max Lucado's book "Grace For the Moment"? This puts things in perspective for me about where I stand with God in the scheme of things.

"Ponder the achievement of God,

He doesn't condone our sin, nor does he compromise his standard.

He doesn't ignore our rebellion, nor does he relax his demands.

Rather than dismiss our sin, he assumes our sin and, incredibly, sentences himself.

God's holinesss is honored. Our sin is punished....and we are redeemed.

God does what we cannot do so we can be what we dare not dream; perfect before God."
 
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graceventually is offline graceventually Post #25  October 27,2009, 9:29am
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That's a lovely passage, landstar! Thanks for sharing.
 
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HighSteppin is offline HighSteppin Post #26  October 27,2009, 10:02am
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Yes ,they are free to marry. Don`t get stuck in the Law,It`s all about Grace. That doesn`t mean to treat marriage lightly,it is very important to God. Get to know what happened and if inner healing has taken place.God specializes in restoration and new beginings.Otherwise we all would be discarded or thrown away for one reason or another.Remember the woman caught in adultry,listen to what Jesus was saying here. Hope this helps. HighSteppin
 
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HighSteppin is offline HighSteppin Post #27  October 27,2009, 10:09am
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This was beautiful landstar.I am a new be here.HighSteppen
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #28  October 27,2009, 10:30am
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Thanks Grace and High Steppin!

There is another thing I love that Max Lucado says. He says, "God already knows everything we cannot keep secrets from him. Our confession of sin is not telling him what we did. He already knows. Confession is simply agreeing with God that our acts were wrong."

In essence, I know that my divorce was wrong in God's eyes. I agree. He also knows that it was the most gut wrenching, heart ripping moments of my life that led up to the process. I never took the promise I made before Him lightly. But after it all He says, "If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new!" 2 Corinthians 5:17. That is a verse of hope that God can renew everything about me as long as I am in Him.
 
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LookinUp is offline LookinUp Post #29  October 29,2009, 1:12pm
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wrote :
Back to the OP - rather than closing all those ladies, how about seeing what you learn about what happened in those marriages? My guess is that some of them may not have great reasons for divorce, and this may give you pause. But....some of them will have been left for another woman, or will have left an abuser, or will have just plain been left - and there's not a lot you can do about it if you've been deserted. You'll have to discern what you can about their individual decisions; which I'm sure were taken for a variety of reasons.
Is that the Spirit of Love in action, or situational ethics?

That is my sincere question.
Last edited by LookinUp; October 29,2009 at 2:04pm. Reason: The Holy Spirit is our Counselor.
 
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LookinUp is offline LookinUp Post #30  October 29,2009, 1:29pm
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I am not a divorcee, but I do feel that God's mercy extends to them.

Nothing can separate us from the Love of God.

The Holy Spirit dwells in us to counsel us. I will pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me.

If God spoke to me, I would marry a divorced prostitute murderer addict who was saved in a true conversion. The Lord hung-out with people like that - not Pharisees or those in ivory towers. Paul hunted down believers before he was converted. The blood of the Lamb covers our sins completely - it does not bead-up and leave divorce uncovered! Also, everyone depends on God's mercy - even the seeming righteous.
Last edited by LookinUp; October 29,2009 at 2:15pm. Reason: I have come not to judge but to save
 
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