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LookinUp LookinUp is offline
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LookinUp is happy as a steamed clam in hot butter

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Thanks for the thoughtful responses. I am trying to find my way, not judge others. God is faithful to forgive.

Are you saying most divorcees are NOT free to remarry?

if so, its sad that almost all these wonderful women who I am being matched-with -- are ?actually doomed to a life without sharing love?

See, the scripture that I find in New Testament does NOT allow divorce for abuse, even violence - nor even for being abandoned. Am i reading that correctly?

As far as annulment goes - remember how a blessing was given even though there was deception? I feel that too many marriages where oaths were takes - are annulled. Those reasons are NOT scriptural from what I can find.

If I am wrong - PLEASE show me where in scripture I am wrong!!! Really! I say that bc some of these divorcees seem exceptional to me! They want to share their life, be loved - AND, they are Christians - women of faith.

Im shocked at what Ive learned. All of my final matches are divorced. Only one out of 12 is divorced for spouse's adultery.

The ones divorced for other reasons seem to be more virtuous. Its very strange.
Last edited by LookinUp; October 26th, 2009 at 02:13 am.
- October 26th, 2009, 12:46 am
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Chiara Chiara is offline
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i_am_just_me_no_fake wrote :
The Bible says the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy. If you were divorced, simply ask God for forgiveness for the mistake and seek happiness again! That's how I read it.
Truly, Jesus made it quite clear who was to be the interpreter of His Word-Holy Scripture...His Church. I do not pretend to fathom the difficulties that permeate Christians and each separate Church, group, what-have-you. The Truth is Jesus left us His Church and for the first 1500 years the Catholic Church-Orthodox and Catholics loyal to the Roman Pontiff-gave authentic interpretations of what we as Christians are to believe. The Catholic Church-no longer including the Orthodox-is still the authentic interpreter. It is with fear and trembling that theologians ask the Holy Spirit's guidance in understanding and translating the Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek to Modern-Day English. I shall not argue with separated brethren on this. Divorce is divorce. If there is an annulment then a marriage can be entered into. God is not wishy-washy. We are expected to be mature, responsible and moral Christians. God does not just forgive and not expect some restitution/reparation for one's sin or as some may say, "mistake". We are no longer children who can claim ignorance. Please do not hide behind the fact that you think you are God. Yes, He is all-loving and all-merciful but judgment does play into the factors. We only reap what we sow. What type of field have you planted? What type of harvest do you expect and will it reap 30, 60 nor 100 fold? Maybe, it will only bring weeds. Check your heart and ask the Holy Spirit for understanding into Christ's heart and teaching. I do.
P.S. I have the utmost respect and empathy for those who are divorced and cannot receive an annulment. God never asks more of us than is possible. We all have our crosses. You would be overwhelmed by mine.
- October 26th, 2009, 02:16 am
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Chiara Chiara is offline
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Also, the only UNforgivable sin is the sin against the Holy Spirit. The sin that one believes God can't forgive them.
- October 26th, 2009, 02:18 am
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Chiara Chiara is offline
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You got it. If there are divorced and not annulled people who are remarried they are committing a heinous sin.
- October 26th, 2009, 02:19 am
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graceventually graceventually is offline
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graceventually is getting ready for the Nov. 28 wedding, and so won't be posting much!

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As far as those who left an abusive marriage, I have two thoughts (besides a great deal of sympathy): (1) in ancient times, some male relatives of the abused wife would have run the fellow out of town (if she was lucky), making him an outcast and effectively ending the marriage; and (2) we're expected to use some common sense with Scripture. If one may kill in self-defense, then surely one may also do a lesser thing; such as to divorce in self-defense.

Remember, too, that Jesus lived and taught in a community in which women did not have the right to initiate divorce (unlike Roman women of the era). We can't be surprised that he didn't address every circumstance under which a woman might want a divorce when it wasn't even a legal option for his audience.
Last edited by graceventually; October 26th, 2009 at 11:00 am.
- October 26th, 2009, 10:51 am
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LookinUp LookinUp is offline
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In any case, what to do? Divorced women of faith - wanted to share their life with a man of faith. Sincere, good women - in most cases, done wrong by the man (but most, NOT adulterous).

They are not free to remarry? THAT IS SAD!!! If this is true then under main criteria, eH need to have a button for "No Divorcees." All my final matches are divorcees.
Last edited by LookinUp; October 26th, 2009 at 02:11 pm. Reason: I know Im living there
- October 26th, 2009, 02:10 pm
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LookinUp LookinUp is offline
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Annulments can be gotten if you know the right people and have money. That is NOT Spirit-informed interpretation.

The Lord says that it is better not to swear oaths, bc He is a God of promises, and he holds us to our promises. If we swear a marriage oath, we cant just find some loophole to back out of it left and right. Annulments are handed out plentifully to people who were both capable of making a promise.

Im sad bc Ive met nice people here who are divorcees. I am sad bc we could end loneliness in our lives. They seems sincere women of faith.

Are you casting the first stone?
- October 26th, 2009, 02:14 pm
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graceventually graceventually is offline
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graceventually is getting ready for the Nov. 28 wedding, and so won't be posting much!

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Again, I'd talk to them about their individual circumstances, rather than make blanket assumptions; and then see what you think.
- October 26th, 2009, 02:17 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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So much to say...

graceventually wrote :
But....some of them will have been left for another woman...
Got one of those!

graceventually wrote :
...or will have left an abuser...
and one of those as well! I'm 2 for 2!

Chiara wrote :
Divorce is divorce. If there is an annulment then a marriage can be entered into.
Chiara wrote :
You got it. If there are divorced and not annulled people who are remarried they are committing a heinous sin.
Annulment is a technicality. The relationship is over either way, whether the church gives its blessing on its demise or not. And "heinous"? Really?

graceventually wrote :
...(2) we're expected to use some common sense with Scripture. If one may kill in self-defense, then surely one may also do a lesser thing; such as to divorce in self-defense.

Remember, too, that Jesus lived and taught in a community in which women did not have the right to initiate divorce (unlike Roman women of the era). We can't be surprised that he didn't address every circumstance under which a woman might want a divorce when it wasn't even a legal option for his audience.
Hey, what's up with this "common sense" stuff! What are you thinking! Why are you thinking? That's not allowed!


LookinUp wrote :
Are you saying most divorcees are NOT free to remarry?

if so, its sad that almost all these wonderful women who I am being matched-with -- are ?actually doomed to a life without sharing love?
The problem I have with being "doomed to a life without sharing love" (other than the fact that it would be caused by cheating and violence I did not commit) is the fact that most people don't realize it applies to men as well. Just because women are mentioned does not exclude men. But somehow, no one ever catches that. They believe men are free to remarry at will, though I think they'll eventually run out of eligible women if the divorcees aren't allowed.

LookinUp wrote :
Im shocked at what Ive learned. All of my final matches are divorced. Only one out of 12 is divorced for spouse's adultery.

The ones divorced for other reasons seem to be more virtuous. Its very strange.
Are your matches seriously telling you exactly why they divorced? I'm surprised they would be that forthright and honest before actually dating someone. Most of the time that's a conversation for a little later on. It's extremely personal.
- October 26th, 2009, 09:12 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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Thank you graceeventually and chawks64 for injecting some reality into this thread. Please, re-read graceeventually's post. She is a minister and knows her stuff!

Let me just add... the "self defense" in divorce can be from emotional harm as well as physical harm.

Not every church interprets the bible so strictly. In fact, I believe most will allow divorced people to remarry in their church... at least I know several who have. I also know of people who went through the hoops of an annulment who were completely at fault in their divorce, and then were allowed to remarry in their church.

Remember, G-d is also a forgiving and loving G-d, not just a judging G-d. Get to know the person and follow your heart, not a "rule" that shuts love out of your life.
- October 26th, 2009, 09:42 pm
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