My ex husband and I trying to reunite again


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heartnsoul is offline heartnsoul Post #1  August 1,2009, 4:26pm
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My ex husband and I were marriade 14 years,divorced 5 years.He had an affair.My ex husband and I want to try a relationship again,we have two kids 13 and 11.I have always loved him.He did too.One issue is sex,he wants that as well.I know the bible is clear on sex before marriage.But i am tempted,Help.What your advice on this issue.We did try to reunite in 2007,but then i found another guy,a christian,it did not work out.I saw a big change in my ex husband,good father,better person,he attends my church,going on one year.I saw the changes over the years.I just wanted a christian man,they all turned out bad.Didnt act very christian,my ex husband appeared better then then.Need advice.
 
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graceventually is offline graceventually Post #2  August 1,2009, 7:10pm
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I expect this might get more responses over in the "relationships" thread. Good luck!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is online now Wonderwoman402 Post #3  August 2,2009, 5:22pm
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In some Christian religions you two would still be considered married, so any prohibition on premarital sex would not apply. Ask for guidance from your minister/pastor/priest.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  August 2,2009, 5:47pm
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I'm not exactly clear on just what advice you want. Should you or shouldn't you? Have sex with the ex before re-marrying? Or re-marrying the ex at all?

If you both look good to each other, after so many years apart, I say figure out what exactly it is you do want, and then go for it!

I'm sure the kids would be thrilled, for whatever that's worth.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #5  August 3,2009, 1:25pm
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Are you sure he will not cheat on you again and how do you know he won't. Is he going out with someone now while trying to get you back, if so, he has not learned anything!! Does he just want to have sex with you or does he want the relationship back. I was married 18 years and I would have loved to hear that from my x-wife wanting me back. I would have taken her back in a heart beat and forget about sex, would not even need a heart beat for that. But it has been 9 years now, and nope, no way, no how. I have healed and have come to realize alot of things that were wrong with our marriage and I was so blindly in love with her back then I did not see what I see now. Sure she is beautiful still but not on the inside, if I dated her today, it would not go to a second date because I know look for more in a relationship then beauty on the outside. Think long and hard about this and make totally sure this is what you want. Don't go back for the kids or the sex.
 
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Girliegirl49 is offline Girliegirl49 Post #6  August 3,2009, 2:02pm
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I would seriously think about everything. First, he cheated on you when you were married - what makes you think he won't go there again? (I divorced my ex because of his cheating - the trust is gone at that point and if the trust is gone, so in the foundation of a successful marriage) I'm guessing that because no one else has sparked your interest, you are focusing in on your ex - perfectly natural to do that but seriously - who needs it?
 
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shast is offline shast Post #7  August 3,2009, 2:57pm
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Dear Heartandsoul... if you are happy why would you want your ex back? I actually know there are many answers to that question. I took my ex back over 50 x's in our twenty year relationship and it always ended the same. I divorced him in the 1st year and a half of marriage for infidelity. But his infidelity was a product of our underlying issue and only the reason for our initial breakup. We really just didn't get along or more importantly share the same ideology. Every time he came back there was a different reason. We both used love, the kids, and finances as a reason to reunite. I was always fine alone, but felt something was missing. I wanted my kids to have a "normal" family. I can tell you this, my kids are fine and I am fine today. I am extremely proud of both of my kids and I am totally open to finding someone to share the rest of my life with and I know they will support that decision. I struggled with the same question biblically and unfortunately no one can answer that but you from your own understanding of your personal relationship with God. I would say think very deeply before having sex with your ex. Make sure any underlying issues can be resolved. It is way more complicated when the kids think daddy is coming home and it does not work out.
 
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BigDaveyL is offline BigDaveyL Post #8  September 11,2009, 8:53am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
In some Christian religions you two would still be considered married, so any prohibition on premarital sex would not apply. Ask for guidance from your minister/pastor/priest.
You are correct. For example, Catholics still consider one to be in a valid, sacramental marriage even if one has gone through a civil divorce. In order for one to be considered "Not Married" in the eyes of the Catholic church, one needs to petition the tribunal, to determine if there was some impediment to a valid sacrament occuring.
 
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heartnsoul is offline heartnsoul Post #9  September 11,2009, 3:48pm
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Update-at this point i dont trust him,i am looking elsewhere,i have a gut feeling about it.Plus other things,like he wants sex,whon knows what he wants.I am on a dating site.
 
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heartnsoul is offline heartnsoul Post #10  September 14,2009, 11:57am
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update-i feel its Gods will to give my ex husband a try,he came to me this weekend and i feel sencerly wants to works things out.PRAY for us,thankyou,will get counceling,he is a goodfather,provider,he has changed,goes to church.
 
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