about finding the right christian man


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heartnsoul is offline heartnsoul Post #21  August 17,2009, 12:53pm
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I just wanted to make it clear i was not intimate,did not have sex with him,he took his stuff he left at my house,VHS movies,books,i was borrowing them.Maybe thats why he left.I made a commitment to God to not have sex till marriage.
 
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saltndlight is offline saltndlight Post #22  August 17,2009, 1:43pm
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Heartnsoul i want to apologize if by any means i missunderstood your message.Forgive me was not my intention to judge anyone....but this is something so common even between christians in our days...we are all human.Don't feel discouraged!God will bring someone good for you, just be patient...He never fails, keep praying and searching!We are in the same boat here)
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #23  August 17,2009, 5:20pm
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saltndlight wrote :
God will bring someone good for you, just be patient...He never fails, keep praying and searching!
Is this to say that a Christian will be provided with a good mate without fail if they pray and search?

Why do Christian marriages fail if God provides a good mate for those who pray and search?

Why do Christian marriages fail at a rate equal to or greater than the failure rate of marriages of Agnostics and Atheists (who probably don't pray for mates)?

-------------
U.S. divorce rates: for various faith groups, age groups and geographical areas

A recent study by the Barna Research Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The margin of error is ±2 percentage points. The survey found:

11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

Variation in divorce rates by religion:

Religion % have been divorced
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%
 
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hesalwaysgood is offline hesalwaysgood Post #24  August 20,2009, 7:50am
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I agree with Princesscando. Very wise advise. However, if you are looking for some practical application to that advise, looking for that “good fruit” is key. So if he knows a lot about God’s Word and can quote scriptures, obviously, that’s not good enough. It has to be from the heart, which means he will show the following characteristics:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:21-23
Most of the fruits are self explanatory, but love is more complex, therefore, God gave us the proper definition in His Word, so also look for these following characteristics as well:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Clearly, no one is perfect, however if they are showing characteristics opposite of these fruits on a regular basis, he’s not the one for you. Don’t let a man rush you into something you are not ready to do and always listen to that nagging thought, then test his actions against God’s Word. Remember to take your time and don’t feel desperate or worried that a better guy might not come along. Most people are at their best in the beginning of the relationship and do not show their true colors. Also, allow your friends and family to meet him if you are getting serious, as well as meeting his. Spend as much “normal” time with him as possible so you can observe him in a variety of circumstances. God will come through in His own time and that’s where our own fruits will be tested in our patience. If we try to rush things, we end up like Abraham and Sarah with Ishmael, and we miss out on God’s best for us.
 
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BLESS77 is offline BLESS77 Post #25  August 22,2009, 12:17am
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JDavid wrote :
Is this to say that a Christian will be provided with a good mate without fail if they pray and search?

Why do Christian marriages fail if God provides a good mate for those who pray and search?

Why do Christian marriages fail at a rate equal to or greater than the failure rate of marriages of Agnostics and Atheists (who probably don't pray for mates)?

-------------
U.S. divorce rates: for various faith groups, age groups and geographical areas

A recent study by the Barna Research Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The margin of error is ±2 percentage points. The survey found:

11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

Variation in divorce rates by religion:

Religion % have been divorced
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%
There are a few reasons why this occurs:

1) Not everyone who says they are Christians are Followers of Christ.

2) Just because you are a Christian and your love interest is Christian doesn't mean you're compatible with each other.

3) While people are praying for their mates it's imperative that they listen to the answers that they are being given. Sometimes we get so lonely that we'll take on a Brother or Sister in Christ without stopping to examine if that's who we're being told our mate is.

I'm sure there are other reasons including variations on these.

To the OP and others who are getting discouraged...keep your heads up. I've recently realized that I can't continue to bemoan the fact that my Man of God hasn't been revealed to me yet when God is CONSTANTLY showing me who he ISN'T!
 
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heartnsoul is offline heartnsoul Post #26  September 2,2009, 11:59am
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UPDATE:I found out from a friend my ex boyfriend went back to his ex girlfrind,i am back on a dating site,taking it slow,keep me in your prayers
 
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TravelingMel is offline TravelingMel Post #27  September 17,2009, 11:17pm
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God has a plan for everyone. Keep your faith. I know you will find the right person.
 
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flippenstipper is offline flippenstipper Post #28  September 29,2009, 3:09pm
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There's Christians and there's Christians. Some were raised in it, some have their own conversions.

Some Christians have no Spiritual depth and those who don't cannot mature. Spiritual depth is how deeply the Spirit of God dwells within you. If you just trust Christ to save you and live pretty much the way you please, then the Spirit is not very deep within. Those who have Spiritual depth are religiously seeing the word of God for what it says, and go on to Spiritual maturity.
 
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