chobits is offline chobits Post #1  April 7,2008, 6:26am
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What does the bible say about masturbation? I know the secular view says its okay but what is the biblical view?

I found out my bf does it and did the shady porn stuff(this was before me) but its down to 2xs a month in moments of weakness. He has tried to stop but I he cant. So he says that he figures that if this is the worst he is doing......

For me its not a deal breaker but Im just curious to see if anyone else out there struggles with this?
 
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danb35 is offline danb35 Post #2  April 7,2008, 9:25am
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The Bible doesn't have anything to say directly on the subject of masturbation. It does, however, speak to the subject of lust, which often accompanies masturbation, and says it's wrong to lust for somebody you're not married to.

If you're interested in more detail, there are a couple of good articles at www.themarriagebed.com that deal with the subject in more depth.
 
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michelle_777 is offline michelle_777 Post #3  April 7,2008, 12:52pm
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Treat your body as a temple of God, diddleing your temple is lustful and wrong.. you share it with your husband--wife and thats it on that..
 
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Blue_Angel is offline Blue_Angel Post #4  April 7,2008, 2:39pm
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danb35,79512 wrote :

The Bible doesn't have anything to say directly on the subject of masturbation. It does, however, speak to the subject of lust, which often accompanies masturbation, and says it's wrong to lust for somebody you're not married to.

If you're interested in more detail, there are a couple of good articles at www.themarriagebed.com that deal with the subject in more depth.
i don't think it is saying lusting after your spouse is good either...lust itself is something that is wrong no matter what scenario because it denies the personhood of the person you are lusting after and reduces them to a sexual object. However, our definitions of lust could be different which would lead to our differing thoughts.
 
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ampy1961 is offline ampy1961 Post #5  April 7,2008, 3:46pm
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Danb35 is correct in saying that the Bible does not address masturbation directly, and I alsothink that objectifying one's husband or wife is probably not a good idea, Blue_Angel. However, chobits, I would also ask your bf what he fantasizes about when he is masturbating. Is it someone else? Is it porn? How do you feel about that? Also, if he "can't" stop, it seems to me theremay bemore than just physical gratification happening there.Does this fulfill someemotional need for him? What thoughts are going through his head? Some women end up marrying men who masturbate to porn or other fantisies on the assumption that he will stop when he has you, a "real woman," to make love to, and that is not always the case. If you are serious about him, you might want to have an in depth conversation about how serious he is about masturbation.
 
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jordan614 is offline jordan614 Post #6  April 7,2008, 7:35pm
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Masturbation is a perfectly natural act, performed, no doubt, by many in the clergy. The Bible can generally be interpreted to say anything you want it to say, or at least that's been my observation.As long as your bf isn't thinking about kids or animals while he's going at it, you probably have nothing to worry about. But if it really bothers you, you might consider giving him a "helping hand." I think most men would enjoy that.
 
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chobits is offline chobits Post #7  April 8,2008, 7:29am
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I think it was more that he was dealing with being by himself and not dating. It is just more of a reliease for him than anything.

I wasnt terribly surpised but was more like "oh, I c" kind of thing. Just a bit different is all. Its more a struggle he deals with, and a weakness. Everyone has their weakness, struggles. That is just one of his. I think.

If I over think its not good. Im just glad we had the conversation so openly(with me asking just kind of randomly). Its not like you can bring it up into conversation. I would rather have him be open about stuff like this as opposed to hiding it from me and then me finding it out(probably doubtful)

Its just part of who he is. I dont want to judge him or look down him. I think having the convo about it was more important and he also lead to other larger conversations as well.
 
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chobits is offline chobits Post #8  April 8,2008, 7:30am
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plus the fact that we've agreed to no kinds of sex while we are dating (i.e. they are out of bounds) probably helped with us early on to keep things to a dull roar.
 
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danb35 is offline danb35 Post #9  April 8,2008, 9:20am
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Blue_Angel,79621 wrote :
i don't think it is saying lusting after your spouse is good either.
Perhaps not, and perhaps our definitions of "lust" differ. I'm referring to Christ's statement that he who looks at a woman to lust after has already committed adultery with her in his heart (which is the only reference I'm aware of that directly links the thought with the sexual sin). I'm taking as given that (1) the same principle applies if neither of you are married (in which case it'd be fornication, not adultery), and (2) you can't commit adultery with your wife, so this wouldn't apply to prohibit lusting after her either.

Now, depending on how exactly you define the term, "lust" could exclude "love", and if so, then it isn't something to do to your wife either.
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #10  April 8,2008, 5:43pm

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chobits, wrote :

What does the bible say about masturbation? I know the secular view says its okay but what is the biblical view?

I found out my bf does it and did the shady porn stuff(this was before me) but its down to 2xs a month in moments of weakness. He has tried to stop but I he cant. So he says that he figures that if this is the worst he is doing......

For me its not a deal breaker but Im just curious to see if anyone else out there struggles with this?
I cannot comment on the biblical text regarding masturbation, if any exist. I have not read the bible cover to cover in about 20 years and am certainly no scholar.

To me, masturbation is a normal bodily function for both sexes. I think fantasy is normal also, as long as it doesn't get into illegal areas like children and dead people and animals and stuff. Humans are curious creatures with great imaginations. Even if you think about sex in terms of your partner, and think to yourself different things you might want to try wtih your partner, wouldn't that be a form of lust? I fail to see how that could be wrong.

If men, and many women, do not obtain sexual release they will have orgasms in their sleep. Clearly one cannot control the contents of one's dreams. I for one would be happier with a partner who knew I had no problem with his masturbating on a regular basis while thinking about anything and anyone he likes rather than drive that physical need for release underground to lead to a wet dream and probably a lot of guilt on his part. At least if he's doing it when he's awake he's enjoying himself.

I think of two quotes I find educational on this topic. Once, I was talking to a roman catholic priest friend of mine on the street when a very buxom woman wearing a too small halter top bounced by. His eyes bulged out of his head and he turned to watch her continue down the street. I laughed and asked him what kind of behavior was that for a priest to exhibit? He said just because he's on a diet it doesn't mean he can't enjoy the menu.

The other quote came from the ex wife of an old bf of mine who was an appliance repairman. Strangely enough to me, women apparently forever showed up in negligees and other revealing outfits when he arrived to work on the dishwahsers and what not. I found it amusing that any woman would get off doing such a thing. His ex wife told me she never cared wihere her ex hubby/my bf got his appetite as long as he came home for dinner.

Both responses sounded healthy and normal to me.
 
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