godlessinseattle is offline godlessinseattle Post #1  January 24,2009, 12:08pm
godlessinseat…'s Avatar

Dare To Question All Received Truths

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 1,231

See profile



Christianity is not and never was a tea tolalling religion. The Bible has many, many positive references to drining alcohol. There are teachings aganist drunkeness but not drinking. You, of course, can choose to have no alcohol. But you can't blame it on the God of the Bible.
 
  Reply With Quote
angel is offline angel Post #2  January 24,2009, 2:03pm
angel's Avatar

May your lives be filled with God's loves this year.

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 123

See profile



Okay I consider myself a christian and so do allot of other religions. But when you say you are a christian what does that mean to you. To me a christian is someone who has made Jesus their Lord and Savior. Loves God with all their heart. Who lives a christian life by following the bible, yes youare not perfect andmake mistakes but asksGod forforgiveness. Does christian things like listens to christian music, reads books to improve their walk with God goes to church etc.Does not drink. This is what i choise to do.


God is very important to me and i admit i was mentioned him way to muchso I toned it down some but I still mention him. I understand you can like other things cooking,sports, movies(as long as it is a good movie decent values in it) plays museums, traveling, books, music etc. Imentioned most of this plus other things in my profile.Plus i have no drinking and smoking.


My life has changed since my relationship with God has grown. I would like to have someone whoon he same level I am with religion. All my matches say they are christian but my latest matches did not mention God at all and they drink(I changed my setting to get someone who doesto drink), Some Chrsitian think it is okay to drink, well maybe I should not to date someone who does? Yes wine is mentioned in the bible, but drinkiing just promots drunkiness.


How am i suppose to know what their relationship with God is like if they do not mention him at all except saying they are christian. I want to make sure heknows Jesus as his personal Saviour before I start going with him. Becauseif you are Catholic(just like i was)ImadeJesusas my Lord and Saviour and have apersonal relationship with him some Catholics do not believe in gettingsaved. So if i am matched with a Catholic who says they are a christian are we going to fight all the time because i believe that you need to be saved in order to go to heaven and they may not believe this.(Most myfamily does not and they are Catholic)
 
  Reply With Quote
javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #3  January 24,2009, 9:31pm
javajava5's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 3,320

See profile



Dear Angel,


This is very specifically to you and I'm not going to argue this with others.


Keep in mind that the word "Christian" has become an umbrella term for many folks who really have no idea what it means to be a Christian, and that's why I prefer to use the semantic, "Believer," or even, "True Believer," to distinguish out those who've accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior and are what's known as "saved."


By Believers (though only God and the individual know for certain if the person is saved, and sometimes a person isn't certain if they're saved, but if they do have that uncertainty, then they should make sure they're saved), I mean that subset of Christians - the True Believers who have made the very personal choice toaccept God's free gift of salvation through His son's, Jesus, death on the Cross for their sins and believe He rose from the dead, overcoming death and who've prayed a very simple prayer along these lines:


"Dear God, I acknowledge that I am a sinner in need of salvation and I confess and repent (turn away) from my sins. Thank you for sending your perfect son, Jesus Christ, to die in my stead for my sins and to rise again, overcoming death, and I accept your free gift of salvation and ask Jesus to come into my heart and save me. Thank you for giving me eternal life. In Jesus name, Amen."


"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I John 1: 9, Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV)


"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 10: 9, KJV


"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3: 23, KJV


"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6: 23, KJV


"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, though shalt be saved." Romans 10: 9, KJV


"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2: 8 - 10, KJV


It's very clear that for a person to be saved, they must choose to accept God's free gift of salvation, asking for fogiveness of their sins and believing though faith that Jesus died for their sins and rose from the dead, overcoming sin. Salvation is a one-time event for a person and at such time, about eleven things immediately happen to the person as immediate benefits of salvation. Sadly, most people will not make this choice.


As you know, the Bible teaches that works will not save a person. nor will tithing, going to church, being a good person, taking communion, being baptized, or anything a person can do in and of themselves will save. Salvation is God's free gift to us and nothing whatsoever we can do will save us. Salvation is a matter of you, or me, or whoever, making the choice, thedecision,in simple, child-like faith, to accept His free gift though His son, Jesus Christ's saving work on the Cross for your sins, and my sins, and the sins of everyone. A person does have to make the choice to accept though.


As you already know, many Christians are not saved so just asking if a person is a Christian will not get you the information you're desiring as what you're really seeking to know is if the person is indeed, saved.


For someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus, there's not such a thing as mentioning Him too much! Only the world would have you to think that way!


Perhaps you may want to change your eHarmony "About Me" page to reflect that you're seeking "a committed Christian who is saved and desires to live according to Biblical principles," or something along those lines.


Stick to your standards about seeking someone who doesn't drink. There's nothing wrong with that in the slightest, though again, the world would have you to think so. It's your life and only you can live it


There's no way to know absolutely for sure for you to know if a person is saved but the Bible does says these words about knowing if a person is a Believer:


"Ye shall know them by their fruits."Matthew 7: 16, Holy Bible, KJV.


This is referring to the Fruits of the Spirit, of course, and Christ-like behavior including helping others - the poor, widows, orphans, and whomever God sends across a person's path in life.


But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5: 22 - 23, Holy Bible, New International Version


In the Stage 4 Communication where you send your 2nd set of questions, one of my very favorite questions to ask is: "Tell me how the Lord has worked and is working in your life (and what is your denomination)?


The answer to this question will tell you a lot about the person. Also, when I get to Open Communication, after a few exchanges back and forth, if I've not already shared with the person my salvation story, I then share it and ask them to tell me about when they were saved - how old they were, how they came to know the Lord personally, etc.


This way, you will know before you go out with the person what they say about their personal relationship with Jesus!


Though there are saved people in all the Christian denominations including Catholics, some denominations have many more saved people in them than others because saved people that are committed to the Lord generally seek out a Bible-teaching church instead of more liberal churches and / or ritualistic churches.


Some denominations that have more saved people in them, that you may want to include in your match settings of denominations include: Evangelical Free, Baptists, Lutherans, and Charismatic (Pentecostal).


Episcopalians, Anglicans, United Church of Christ, United Methodists (not Free-Will Methodists who tend to salvation) tend to be very liberal and you may not want to choose those denominations. Many Roman Catholics have no idea what it means to be saved and so many of them are about nothing more than ritual and / or the traditions of the church, not really even knowing what the Bible teaches.


As odd as it may sound to you, you probably will not want to be matched with most Catholics as I've discovered the majority I've known simply do not know the Lord (though some do, but not like in the denominations like Evanglical Free, Baptist, Lutheran, and Pentecostallike I mentioned above).


Make some setting changes in the denominations you'rematched with and I think you'll see a difference in your matches. After a really long time, I simply removed Roman Catholic from my settings as I only ever got one who was saved and had to make it through the many who weren't. It turned out not to be worth my time.


I'm into having a very intimate, personal relationship with Jesus, not the rituals like so many Catholics that are not about having a relationship with Jesus (though there's some who are and I mean not offense of any kind to Catholics. I'm simply sharing my experiences and being with Catholics and what I've discovered. There are some wonderful, saved Catholics, but so many others have no idea what it means to be saved. It's like they think if they do the sacraments, the rituals, the traditions, they're saved).


Welcome to these Advice boards. By the way, there is a group here you really might like called, "A Peaceful Oasis," who has many, many saved people in it. You can fellowship there if it pleases you. You can find it under the "Group" category. Also, here's the link for your ease: http://www.advice.eharmony.com/group/a-peaceful-oasis.html


JavaJava5
 
  Reply With Quote
vlnman is offline vlnman Post #4  January 24,2009, 10:22pm
vlnman's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2008

Dayton, OH

Posts: 150

See profile



With all respect, you mention a number of personal approaches that a Christian may take...but you could apply those to non Christians as well. Every Christian church has it's foundation in the earliest Apostolic Christian community founded by Jesus. There was but a single church until the Orthodox split in the 11th century and the Reformation in the 16th. The splintering extends across differences in terminology and ritual, but there is essentially no difference in the basic theological view that God entered into our human existence in order to save us from eternal death. Anyone can formulate a different view and call it Christianity, but it is self proclaimed at best.


Again with respect....I'm not sure if you understand Roman Catholic belief and the hope of entrance to Heaven... it's much the same as the Orthodox church in that being saved is considered to be a process. You'll find two words in the Bible which are soterion....which would be "salvation, deliverance" and sozo which is a verb meaning..."to save" Soin that respect the Catholic and Orthodox view would go something like this .....


We have already been saved .. Jesus died, rose from the dead, and saved us from sin,...we were born again at baptism.


We are continually being saved ...the Holy Spirit is at work in our midst,.... within scripture in that God's power frees us from sin....in 1 Cor 15:2 "By which (speaking of the gospel)also you are saved, if you hold fast after what manner I preached unto you, unless you have believed in vain"


We have the hope of being saved .... that we will respond to God's grace and be touched by God's mercy at the hour of death...the belief in deliverance in the Second Coming of Christ, Rom 5:9 "Christ died for us; much more therefore, being now justified by his blood, shall we be saved from wrath through him"


Theillustration is that this view and the point in time view of being saved are in fact mutually exclusive paridigms, and that is ok. Both views can easily be supported by scripture with a complete explanation as to why either view could be correct. You could argue both are equally true, or that one is more true than the other.....but....you end up with a problem to say that one is right and the other wrong. To condemn one side or the other as pagan and excluded from Heaven gets into an area beyond anything we can grasp in our human minds. God alone knows who is saved and who is not.
 
  Reply With Quote
lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #5  January 27,2009, 12:46am
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

california

Posts: 1,364

See profile



do you mean your family is cultural catholic but not religiously catholic? well, anyways, i sympathise and i do it as a catholic. of course catholic doctrine speaks of the need for salvation and jesus as a personal god. i'm all into religiosity, and i must say, i wouldn't rest with an assertion from someone that they've "accepted jesus as their personal saviour" - that's just a tribal call and no meaning is imparted there either. i probably wouldn't even go on a declaration of temperance (avoidance of alchohol) - christianity addresses a broader issue, which underlies intemperance but encompasses so much more when it comes to impulse control. really, "control" is a bad word; christianity seeks the proper integration of impulse - all impulse.
 
  Reply With Quote
heartnsoul is offline heartnsoul Post #6  March 18,2009, 11:24am
heartnsoul's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 85

See profile

angel, wrote :

Okay I consider myself a christian and so do allot of other religions. But when you say you are a christian what does that mean to you. To me a christian is someone who has made Jesus their Lord and Savior. Loves God with all their heart. Who lives a christian life by following the bible, yes youare not perfect andmake mistakes but asksGod forforgiveness. Does christian things like listens to christian music, reads books to improve their walk with God goes to church etc.Does not drink. This is what i choise to do.


God is very important to me and i admit i was mentioned him way to muchso I toned it down some but I still mention him. I understand you can like other things cooking,sports, movies(as long as it is a good movie decent values in it) plays museums, traveling, books, music etc. Imentioned most of this plus other things in my profile.Plus i have no drinking and smoking.


My life has changed since my relationship with God has grown. I would like to have someone whoon he same level I am with religion. All my matches say they are christian but my latest matches did not mention God at all and they drink(I changed my setting to get someone who doesto drink), Some Chrsitian think it is okay to drink, well maybe I should not to date someone who does? Yes wine is mentioned in the bible, but drinkiing just promots drunkiness.


How am i suppose to know what their relationship with God is like if they do not mention him at all except saying they are christian. I want to make sure heknows Jesus as his personal Saviour before I start going with him. Becauseif you are Catholic(just like i was)ImadeJesusas my Lord and Saviour and have apersonal relationship with him some Catholics do not believe in gettingsaved. So if i am matched with a Catholic who says they are a christian are we going to fight all the time because i believe that you need to be saved in order to go to heaven and they may not believe this.(Most myfamily does not and they are Catholic)
Christian means to me being like Christ.Yes changing your old life style to a new person.I too dont drink or smoke,God states in the Bible we are the holy temple of God.It is not easy finding a christian man,i am 7th day adventist our religion teaches on not drinking or smoking,most men in my religion dont drink or smoke,so its easy for me to find someone who does not.Dont give up,i keep trying as well,pray God guides you.
 
  Reply With Quote
ActionSoftGuy is offline ActionSoftGuy Post #7  March 23,2009, 9:36pm
ActionSoftGuy's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Burbank, CA

Posts: 151

See profile



I agree with javajava5's post. What I read of it anyway (it's long!).


I'll just add this: I'm a firm believer that repentance is inextricably linked with salvation. Just do a search for "repent" at www.bible.com. That's not adding works to salvation, since God grants repentance. And it only makes sense that faith and repentance are like two sides of the same coin: how can you turn towards God, without turning away from your sin? (Not that you stop sinning entirely, but you do actively pursue holiness and obedience.)


I also agree that various legalistic things like not smoking or not drinking do *not* define a Christian. That's the same mistake the pharisees made. It's all about what's in the heart. Do you love God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength? And your neighbor as yourself? Do you trust in Christ as your lord and savior, as the full payment for your sins, with nothing for you to contribute to your salvation, other than just receiving it as a free gift?


Totally agree with javajava5's comment about fruit too. A true believer will have a life that is changed -- more and more with time -- in visible outward ways. These outward things don't save him, but rather, they are evidence that he is likely saved.
 
  Reply With Quote
ActionSoftGuy is offline ActionSoftGuy Post #8  March 23,2009, 9:44pm
ActionSoftGuy's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Burbank, CA

Posts: 151

See profile



Also, Angel, I'd like to warn you to be careful with considering any standard not in scripture as something that makes a person "more holy" or "more Christian." Abstaining from alcohol entirely is not in scripture; it merely says not to get drunk. In both the O.T. and N.T. you see instruction to give alcohol to those who are suffering, to relieve their pain.


It's a topic far greater than alcohol though. I grew up in a very legalistic background. You were "more holy" if you threw out your TV (bad worldly influence), didn't see movies in the theatres (why support an industry that produces so much filth), didn't listen to rock music (the "hidden enemy in the church"), didn't go to college but did apprenticeship instead, did courtship instead of dating, etc. The whole program I was in as a child wanted Christians to not look like the world. But they went about it the wrong way, with outward legalistic standards, instead of looking at heart change. Be VERY careful with anything like that, because it's exactly what the pharisees did. I was a pharisee for years and didn't know it. It took me a long time to re-think what Christianity was when I finally started to get to know genuine Christians not caught up in what I was in.
 
  Reply With Quote
meri75 is offline meri75 Post #9  March 24,2009, 8:15pm
meri75's Avatar

really wants a double dissolution in 2011!

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Australia

Posts: 5,112

See profile



For me, Christianity is all about faith. It's about God's gift of grace to us and our ability or perhaps willingness, to accept His gift.


I've noticed that several matches listed 'Christian' in their profile, but when reading through the profiles, I got a strong sense that he had picked Christian as opposed to Hindu (for example) and did not know about God's saving grace personally.


What I don't do is force others to adhere to my personal values re Christianity. I have Christian friends whobelieve drinking alcohol is wrong, so I try to respect their belief by not drinking alcohol when I'm with them. It's no skin off my nose to do this.


Drinking doesn't promote drunkeness ... people promote drunkeness. I have been enjoying alcoholic drinks since my 18th birthday and I've never been drunk.
 
  Reply With Quote
dore is offline dore Post #10  March 27,2009, 11:38am
dore's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2008

Mid-West

Posts: 58

See profile


Also, Angel, I'd like to warn you to be careful with considering any standard not in scripture as something that makes a person "more holy" or "more Christian." Abstaining from alcohol entirely is not in scripture; it merely says not to get drunk. In both the O.T. and N.T. you see instruction to give alcohol to those who are suffering, to relieve their pain.


It's a topic far greater than alcohol though. I grew up in a very legalistic background. You were "more holy" if you threw out your TV (bad worldly influence), didn't see movies in the theatres (why support an industry that produces so much filth), didn't listen to rock music (the "hidden enemy in the church"), didn't go to college but did apprenticeship instead, did courtship instead of dating, etc. The whole program I was in as a child wanted Christians to not look like the world. But they went about it the wrong way, with outward legalistic standards, instead of looking at heart change. Be VERY careful with anything like that, because it's exactly what the pharisees did. I was a pharisee for years and didn't know it. It took me a long time to re-think what Christianity was when I finally started to get to know genuine Christians not caught up in what I was in.
Sounds like we grew up in similar type churches. God has now settled me in a church where the beliefs are very similar to what I grew up with but the emphasis is different. The emphasis is on the heart. Your relationship with God is what is so very important. God may show you that YOU need to throw out your TV. It doesn't mean your neighbor needs to. God told YOU to do it and ifYOU want to keep a close relationship to him, YOU need to throw out the TV. BTW- I still have my TV.If you truly want to be so close to God that you are sitting on the edge of your seat, ready to do what He wants you to do whenever He speaks, most of those things- TV, movies, rock music, dress standards, etc- will come on their own, but they will come without the resentment of following man's rules, because the Christian will only be doing what God is personally showing them.


Churches that preach these things are well intentioned. God may have told the pastor that in their relationship, these things needed to be removed/changed, and the pastor figures if that made him closer to God, it will make other people closer to God. But it doesn't work like that. Each person's relationship to God is personal.


The key is how to have that relationship. That is what I struggle with. I've never had a relationship, really, and so translating my experiences into helping me have a relationship with God is just tough. That's why having all those rules is actually the easy way out. People figure if they follow those rules they are "good" Christians. And God is left standing there saying, "What about US?" There's no relationship. And that is why He created us. Not for us to be cookie-cutters of someone else's relationship to God.


I'm rambling, but these are things that I am struggling with. I've done all those things to be a "good" Christian, but I've been lacking the relationship. I don't blame those that still follow the rules. I know many people raised that way are still in church and raising their kids that way, so to some degree, it works. But they are just missing the whole point.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:24am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0