Dear Angel,


This is very specifically to you and I'm not going to argue this with others.


Keep in mind that the word "Christian" has become an umbrella term for many folks who really have no idea what it means to be a Christian, and that's why I prefer to use the semantic, "Believer," or even, "True Believer," to distinguish out those who've accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior and are what's known as "saved."


By Believers (though only God and the individual know for certain if the person is saved, and sometimes a person isn't certain if they're saved, but if they do have that uncertainty, then they should make sure they're saved), I mean that subset of Christians - the True Believers who have made the very personal choice toaccept God's free gift of salvation through His son's, Jesus, death on the Cross for their sins and believe He rose from the dead, overcoming death and who've prayed a very simple prayer along these lines:


"Dear God, I acknowledge that I am a sinner in need of salvation and I confess and repent (turn away) from my sins. Thank you for sending your perfect son, Jesus Christ, to die in my stead for my sins and to rise again, overcoming death, and I accept your free gift of salvation and ask Jesus to come into my heart and save me. Thank you for giving me eternal life. In Jesus name, Amen."


"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I John 1: 9, Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV)


"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 10: 9, KJV


"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3: 23, KJV


"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6: 23, KJV


"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, though shalt be saved." Romans 10: 9, KJV


"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2: 8 - 10, KJV


It's very clear that for a person to be saved, they must choose to accept God's free gift of salvation, asking for fogiveness of their sins and believing though faith that Jesus died for their sins and rose from the dead, overcoming sin. Salvation is a one-time event for a person and at such time, about eleven things immediately happen to the person as immediate benefits of salvation. Sadly, most people will not make this choice.


As you know, the Bible teaches that works will not save a person. nor will tithing, going to church, being a good person, taking communion, being baptized, or anything a person can do in and of themselves will save. Salvation is God's free gift to us and nothing whatsoever we can do will save us. Salvation is a matter of you, or me, or whoever, making the choice, thedecision,in simple, child-like faith, to accept His free gift though His son, Jesus Christ's saving work on the Cross for your sins, and my sins, and the sins of everyone. A person does have to make the choice to accept though.


As you already know, many Christians are not saved so just asking if a person is a Christian will not get you the information you're desiring as what you're really seeking to know is if the person is indeed, saved.


For someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus, there's not such a thing as mentioning Him too much! Only the world would have you to think that way!


Perhaps you may want to change your eHarmony "About Me" page to reflect that you're seeking "a committed Christian who is saved and desires to live according to Biblical principles," or something along those lines.


Stick to your standards about seeking someone who doesn't drink. There's nothing wrong with that in the slightest, though again, the world would have you to think so. It's your life and only you can live it


There's no way to know absolutely for sure for you to know if a person is saved but the Bible does says these words about knowing if a person is a Believer:


"Ye shall know them by their fruits."Matthew 7: 16, Holy Bible, KJV.


This is referring to the Fruits of the Spirit, of course, and Christ-like behavior including helping others - the poor, widows, orphans, and whomever God sends across a person's path in life.


But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5: 22 - 23, Holy Bible, New International Version


In the Stage 4 Communication where you send your 2nd set of questions, one of my very favorite questions to ask is: "Tell me how the Lord has worked and is working in your life (and what is your denomination)?


The answer to this question will tell you a lot about the person. Also, when I get to Open Communication, after a few exchanges back and forth, if I've not already shared with the person my salvation story, I then share it and ask them to tell me about when they were saved - how old they were, how they came to know the Lord personally, etc.


This way, you will know before you go out with the person what they say about their personal relationship with Jesus!


Though there are saved people in all the Christian denominations including Catholics, some denominations have many more saved people in them than others because saved people that are committed to the Lord generally seek out a Bible-teaching church instead of more liberal churches and / or ritualistic churches.


Some denominations that have more saved people in them, that you may want to include in your match settings of denominations include: Evangelical Free, Baptists, Lutherans, and Charismatic (Pentecostal).


Episcopalians, Anglicans, United Church of Christ, United Methodists (not Free-Will Methodists who tend to salvation) tend to be very liberal and you may not want to choose those denominations. Many Roman Catholics have no idea what it means to be saved and so many of them are about nothing more than ritual and / or the traditions of the church, not really even knowing what the Bible teaches.


As odd as it may sound to you, you probably will not want to be matched with most Catholics as I've discovered the majority I've known simply do not know the Lord (though some do, but not like in the denominations like Evanglical Free, Baptist, Lutheran, and Pentecostallike I mentioned above).


Make some setting changes in the denominations you'rematched with and I think you'll see a difference in your matches. After a really long time, I simply removed Roman Catholic from my settings as I only ever got one who was saved and had to make it through the many who weren't. It turned out not to be worth my time.


I'm into having a very intimate, personal relationship with Jesus, not the rituals like so many Catholics that are not about having a relationship with Jesus (though there's some who are and I mean not offense of any kind to Catholics. I'm simply sharing my experiences and being with Catholics and what I've discovered. There are some wonderful, saved Catholics, but so many others have no idea what it means to be saved. It's like they think if they do the sacraments, the rituals, the traditions, they're saved).


Welcome to these Advice boards. By the way, there is a group here you really might like called, "A Peaceful Oasis," who has many, many saved people in it. You can fellowship there if it pleases you. You can find it under the "Group" category. Also, here's the link for your ease: http://www.advice.eharmony.com/group/a-peaceful-oasis.html


JavaJava5

With all respect, you mention a number of personal approaches that a Christian may take...but you could apply those to non Christians as well. Every Christian church has it's foundation in the earliest Apostolic Christian community founded by Jesus. There was but a single church until the Orthodox split in the 11th century and the Reformation in the 16th. The splintering extends across differences in terminology and ritual, but there is essentially no difference in the basic theological view that God entered into our human existence in order to save us from eternal death. Anyone can formulate a different view and call it Christianity, but it is self proclaimed at best.


Again with respect....I'm not sure if you understand Roman Catholic belief and the hope of entrance to Heaven... it's much the same as the Orthodox church in that being saved is considered to be a process. You'll find two words in the Bible which are soterion....which would be "salvation, deliverance" and sozo which is a verb meaning..."to save" Soin that respect the Catholic and Orthodox view would go something like this .....


We have already been saved .. Jesus died, rose from the dead, and saved us from sin,...we were born again at baptism.


We are continually being saved ...the Holy Spirit is at work in our midst,.... within scripture in that God's power frees us from sin....in 1 Cor 15:2 "By which (speaking of the gospel)also you are saved, if you hold fast after what manner I preached unto you, unless you have believed in vain"


We have the hope of being saved .... that we will respond to God's grace and be touched by God's mercy at the hour of death...the belief in deliverance in the Second Coming of Christ, Rom 5:9 "Christ died for us; much more therefore, being now justified by his blood, shall we be saved from wrath through him"


Theillustration is that this view and the point in time view of being saved are in fact mutually exclusive paridigms, and that is ok. Both views can easily be supported by scripture with a complete explanation as to why either view could be correct. You could argue both are equally true, or that one is more true than the other.....but....you end up with a problem to say that one is right and the other wrong. To condemn one side or the other as pagan and excluded from Heaven gets into an area beyond anything we can grasp in our human minds. God alone knows who is saved and who is not.

do you mean your family is cultural catholic but not religiously catholic? well, anyways, i sympathise and i do it as a catholic. of course catholic doctrine speaks of the need for salvation and jesus as a personal god. i'm all into religiosity, and i must say, i wouldn't rest with an assertion from someone that they've "accepted jesus as their personal saviour" - that's just a tribal call and no meaning is imparted there either. i probably wouldn't even go on a declaration of temperance (avoidance of alchohol) - christianity addresses a broader issue, which underlies intemperance but encompasses so much more when it comes to impulse control. really, "control" is a bad word; christianity seeks the proper integration of impulse - all impulse.