zana is offline zana Post #1  January 25,2009, 4:22pm
zana's Avatar

-- it's hot in here --

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

Australia

Posts: 1,043

See profile



I can see by reading many many of the posts on eHA, how intolerant some people are to points of view that are completely different to theirs and how much angst and division this causes....


Me for example, while I may defend my point of view, I can always see and understand why someone else feels the way they do.... I may just be diametrically opposed to their point of view....


It's interesting that some people cant really be tolerant....


Oh and I havent felt much intolerance of late, just commenting on how I am seeing other people's intolerance to certain topics.... sometimes its quite sad and other times quite funny...


How tolerant are you to people who are totally unlike you? Do you think they are id*iots for not ascribing to your point of view? Are you rude to them? Or do you just give them a wide berth?
 
  Reply With Quote
dwreese182 is offline dwreese182 Post #2  January 25,2009, 8:04pm
dwreese182's Avatar

Pag-ibig ng isla

Veteran

Joined: Oct 2008

Afghanistan

Posts: 2,215

See profile



You are just now noticing that?
 
  Reply With Quote
zana is offline zana Post #3  January 25,2009, 9:34pm
zana's Avatar

-- it's hot in here --

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

Australia

Posts: 1,043

See profile



Noooooo, of course I am not just now noticing it.... but it just seems kinda worse of late.... I joined up some months ago and took a break and came back on recently and people's intolerance for others point of view just seem quite unreasonable at times....


I know it sometimes can be a number of factors.... I am just curious to know what others thing...


I am just curious to know why people behave the way they do, in relation to intolerance....


Come people, surely someone has some self-awareness that also has no tolerance? Or are those mutually exclusive?
 
  Reply With Quote
shoelace is offline shoelace Post #4  January 25,2009, 10:12pm
shoelace's Avatar

is teaching his cat to fetch.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2008

Louisiana

Posts: 242

See profile



Isn't self-awareness with no tolerance just narcissism?


But shouldn't you be in love with your own ideas if you're going to keep them alive, feed them, nurture them?


Is the intolerance you speak of the same as rudeness? Bad manners? Tactlessness? Unfair gameplaying?
 
  Reply With Quote
zana is offline zana Post #5  January 25,2009, 10:36pm
zana's Avatar

-- it's hot in here --

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

Australia

Posts: 1,043

See profile



Intolerance can come in many guises..... I think it is rudeness, bad manners and tactlessness, but not gameplaying... as that requires more self awareness.... dont you think?


I dont necessarily think self awareness without tolerance as being exclusively narcisism.... cant you be self aware, intolerant and just a rude, cranky old b*astard (not necessarily narcissisistic).... lol :P
 
  Reply With Quote
scorpio is offline scorpio Post #6  January 26,2009, 7:18am
scorpio's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 2,262

See profile



Intolerance is staunch, divisive, often smug and definitely insecure. Personally, I find it to be not so bright.


By definition, self-awareness shouldembrace a"work-in-progress" mentality,allowingfor inner curiosity,questioning, seeing,probing understanding and further understanding. Knowledge is seamless. None of us ever arrive at a position of all-knowing. If we are truly self-aware, would we not be aware of this and be willing to reconsider and possibly revise, all in the spirit of learning?
 
  Reply With Quote
scorpio is offline scorpio Post #7  January 26,2009, 7:30am
scorpio's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 2,262

See profile


Isn't self-awareness with no tolerance just narcissism?


But shouldn't you be in love with your own ideas if you're going to keep them alive, feed them, nurture them?


Is the intolerance you speak of the same as rudeness? Bad manners? Tactlessness? Unfair gameplaying?
Regarding your second point, if you are going tonuture your ideas, do you continue feeding them the same diet? Sometimes there is truth in opposing opinions, but if we are holding too tightly to our own views, we might miss this.


Iagree thatthe OP is talking about not so much keeping our own ideas, butthe MANNER in which we chooseto disagree, which is all thenegatives you have mentioned, and then some.


I think all those negatives (rudness, bad manners, etc.) are driven by the EGO, which needs to be rightand win more than it needs to learn something new.True self-awareness is the opposite of the EGO.
 
  Reply With Quote
shoelace is offline shoelace Post #8  January 26,2009, 8:42am
shoelace's Avatar

is teaching his cat to fetch.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2008

Louisiana

Posts: 242

See profile

zana,453222 wrote :

Intolerance can come in many guises..... I think it is rudeness, bad manners and tactlessness, but not gameplaying... as that requires more self awareness.... dont you think?


I dont necessarily think self awareness without tolerance as being exclusively narcisism.... cant you be self aware, intolerant and just a rude, cranky old b*astard (not necessarily narcissisistic).... lol :P
I agree, gameplaying has more to do with deceit with a dash of selfishness added for flavor. In fact, it probably works best if you gain another's confidence first, thus intolerance would spoil the gameplaying.


And the statement about narcissism was said mostly with tongue in cheek (I couldn't find a smiley face to go with that sentiment ). If narcissists are consumed by the self, are they necessarily self-aware? And they would more likely simply ignore other people's concerns than be intolerant of them.


Regarding intolerance, what might you be missing in yourself to allow that? And if you're missing something, can you still be self-aware?
 
  Reply With Quote
Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #9  January 26,2009, 4:07pm

Enthusiast

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 950

See profile



zana, wrote :


I can see by reading many many of the posts on eHA, how intolerant some people are to points of view that are completely different to theirs and how much angst and division this causes....


Me for example, while I may defend my point of view, I can always see and understand why someone else feels the way they do.... I may just be diametrically opposed to their point of view....


It's interesting that some people cant really be tolerant....


Oh and I havent felt much intolerance of late, just commenting on how I am seeing other people's intolerance to certain topics.... sometimes its quite sad and other times quite funny...


How tolerant are you to people who are totally unlike you? Do you think they are id*iots for not ascribing to your point of view? Are you rude to them? Or do you just give them a wide berth?


I simply say whether i think it's right or wrong and leave it at that,on some topics that's all it takes to be called intolerant...tolerance thus defined means agree with me or shut up....not very tolerant.
 
  Reply With Quote
cameracollector is offline cameracollector Post #10  January 26,2009, 7:04pm
cameracollect…'s Avatar

is not ready for Missouri summer

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Missouri

Posts: 3,364

See profile


zana, wrote :


I can see by reading many many of the posts on eHA, how intolerant some people are to points of view that are completely different to theirs and how much angst and division this causes....


Me for example, while I may defend my point of view, I can always see and understand why someone else feels the way they do.... I may just be diametrically opposed to their point of view....


It's interesting that some people cant really be tolerant....


Oh and I havent felt much intolerance of late, just commenting on how I am seeing other people's intolerance to certain topics.... sometimes its quite sad and other times quite funny...


How tolerant are you to people who are totally unlike you? Do you think they are id*iots for not ascribing to your point of view? Are you rude to them? Or do you just give them a wide berth?


I simply say whether i think it's right or wrong and leave it at that,on some topics that's all it takes to be called intolerant...tolerance thus defined means agree with me or shut up....not very tolerant.
Bandmate, with all due respect, you don't simply state what you believe. You state your belief, presume it's absolutely correct, and then you proceed to bash anyone who disagrees with you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Excellent, thank you. I think I will leave out the first part, I think it is unnecessary information to give him. I'm not interested in putting myself out there like that and it might be a little ... ” –  generallyyou

Join the “Ending a friendship” discussion

“Alfred Hitchcock - 18 Steven Spielberg - 62 *notice what?” –  dmi

Join the “War of the Directors” discussion

“ I would be "certain people" :P The issue isn't a deal-breaker, but a very strong factor preference-wise, for me.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“Love Texas Hold'em!.. I'm thinking of trying another tournament this summer...not sure yet though.. Never entered a tournament before, outside of online ones. Personally I prefer to play with ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “Favorite Card Game” discussion

“Make that 3! I also had a crush on Donny Osmond. I think I still have a record or two of his. Suzie ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“Oh, my revised profile can be seen in the forum in the section where you can ask for a profile review. Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“Just remember, everything that you are feeling and/or are capable of he is as well. If he wanted to reach you, he could. Right now he knows that you are hurting, and that this is not what you ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“ Yohio. And the shortened form (Anya) is nice too.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:09am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0