Alright y'all I know this has nothing to do with dating but help


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #1  October 30,2009, 10:03am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

I have this amazing friend I met at SLU she needs surgery and it is not covered cause of a lapse in insurance for one month. Oh she is only 21, finance major in NYC so you know underemployed. Her mom wants to pay out of pocket for the surgery. As moms do.

I have been trying since last night to explain to her that this is just how moms are and please let her mom do this.

Please if you have any ideas....
 
  Reply With Quote
librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #2  October 30,2009, 10:15am
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

Tell her she has the choice of robbing her mother of a some money or an irreplaceable daughter. Either way her mother loses something. Her mother has already told her which she values more.

If it hurts her pride, you might remind her that in the current health care situation, it is likely that she will need to return the favor someday to her mom. It is just a loan.
 
  Reply With Quote
PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #3  October 30,2009, 10:22am
PR_Princess's Avatar

Fly like an eagle...Let my spirit carry me

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 685

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I have this amazing friend I met at SLU she needs surgery and it is not covered cause of a lapse in insurance for one month. Oh she is only 21, finance major in NYC so you know underemployed. Her mom wants to pay out of pocket for the surgery. As moms do.

I have been trying since last night to explain to her that this is just how moms are and please let her mom do this.

Please if you have any ideas....
I don't know if this applies here to your friend's situation but I know that some hospitals do give charity to it's patients in need. I not too long ago had a client who had timed out on medicaid and had no medical coverage to pay for her bill. She has no husband and the little she does make goes towards her children.You'll have to get in contact with the hospital itself and they (if they have this program) will send you paperwork and you have the burden of proof to establish financial need.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  October 30,2009, 10:28am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,209

See profile

I've never understood that kind of adversarial attitudes toward family..... Ask her a simple question - if the roles were reversed and it was her mother who needed surgery but her insurance was lapsed - would she want to do whatever it takes to save her mom or would she be a cold hearted b and let her mother drop. Her issues with money and pride are utterly misplaced and she is actually badly hurting her mother by refusing her care, not to mention hurting her own health.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #5  October 30,2009, 10:29am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
Tell her she has the choice of robbing her mother of a some money or an irreplaceable daughter. Either way her mother loses something. Her mother has already told her which she values more.

If it hurts her pride, you might remind her that in the current health care situation, it is likely that she will need to return the favor someday to her mom. It is just a loan.
I did that. I went with the unwritten contract. Moms move heaven and earth for their kids and in return we are not required to live in cardboard boxes when we are old.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #6  October 30,2009, 10:32am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

PR_Princess wrote :
I don't know if this applies here to your friend's situation but I know that some hospitals do give charity to it's patients in need. I not too long ago had a client who had timed out on medicaid and had no medical coverage to pay for her bill. She has no husband and the little she does make goes towards her children.You'll have to get in contact with the hospital itself and they (if they have this program) will send you paperwork and you have the burden of proof to establish financial need.
I work for Anisthesiologists so I know what you speak of. Her doctor will only take cash up front. The other problem is her dad is loaded. Funny how they don't take into consideration he won't pay.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #7  October 30,2009, 10:35am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
I've never understood that kind of adversarial attitudes toward family..... Ask her a simple question - if the roles were reversed and it was her mother who needed surgery but her insurance was lapsed - would she want to do whatever it takes to save her mom or would she be a cold hearted b and let her mother drop. Her issues with money and pride are utterly misplaced and she is actually badly hurting her mother by refusing her care, not to mention hurting her own health.
She would do anything for her mom. She just keeps thinking what if her mom does this for her and something happens to her mom or sister and her mom doesn't have the money for that. It makes me sad that she would rather live in pain and not be able to work than take from her family.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #8  October 30,2009, 10:45am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

Thanks guys for moving this. I had no idea where it belongs.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  October 30,2009, 11:19am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,209

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
She would do anything for her mom. She just keeps thinking what if her mom does this for her and something happens to her mom or sister and her mom doesn't have the money for that. It makes me sad that she would rather live in pain and not be able to work than take from her family.
Families do not take from each other they share. It's not his or hers, or mom's or sister's, it's all family's. That's why it's a family and not strangers. In other words, what she uses today she will return in kind tomorrow by caring for her mom or sister or whatever may happen or come up in life. With family it is not a one way street and you are all there to take care of each other. She somehow needs to grasp that she is actually killing her mother right now - if she won't do it for herself, she needs to do it for her mom.
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #10  October 30,2009, 11:51am
neardc's Avatar

Kumbaya, people!

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Near DC (duh!)

Posts: 7,740

See profile

I suppose that other things to consider are how critical it is to have the surgery, and how expensive it is (and with that, what are her mother's financial resources). It makes a difference if we're talking about $5,000 vs. $150,000.

Are they any options for insurance coverage through school that would get her at least some basic coverage (even with a high deductible) and not require an extended delay to deal with pre-existing conditions? Or, can she be added to one of her parents' insurance (that may depend on the laws of the state she lives in, but in some areas students can be on their parents' policy past the age of 21).

And, has anyone approached her dad to ask for his help on this?

There are important lessons here about how important it is to have health insurance even when you are young and to make paying those premiums a high priority. You really do never know what sort of unexpected health issue could come up... For her, her lapse was just really, really bad timing...
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« What health-related causes do you support? | Health & Wellness | Living Gluten Free »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
dating and geography cp30 Dating 100 September 22,2010 6:28am
Dating Multiple Partners & Sex parakeetjordan Dating 69 April 2,2010 10:39pm
Full figured women-how to get more out of online dating outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 9 August 14,2009 4:05pm
Is There Something Dating Articles Aren't Telling Women? outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 22 August 12,2009 9:04am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:47am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0