yetanotherscreename is offline yetanotherscreename Post #1  January 9,2011, 8:05am
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I guess I was under the misinterpretation that many people on here would be members (either past or present) of eHarmony. I was also under the impression that that might mean people were sort of like minded, at least in the sense that we're all looking for love. That being said, I know there are disagreements as to the best way to go about finding such an elusive thing, thus 'advice' boards.
What I've noticed by looking through many of these threads in the short time I've been a member is that it seems that people (from what I can see, a lot of time it's men) seem far more intent on "calling people out" and putting people down than offering anything sound in terms of advice or intelligent discourse. There are a few names coming to mind, but that'd be out of line. I have stopped short of asking "do you really think you're going to get a date with an attitude like that?!" but honestly, if your goal is to find love, maybe some people should start with a bit of tact.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #2  January 9,2011, 8:16am
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I assume this in the context of this. Where you start a thread asking opinions and then don't appear to like what you hear and call it 'hostility'.

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...stands-14.html (Sex in the "must have, can't stands")

It's an advice forum, you were given plenty of that and opinions.

A bit annoying that people go to the trouble of offering their help, viewpoint and probably ways to improve your dating and then you can't take it and instead look for a negative. How about thanking people for their comments?
Last edited by SteveManchesterEngland; January 9,2011 at 8:21am.
 
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yetanotherscreename is offline yetanotherscreename Post #3  January 9,2011, 8:19am
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Actually, that's not true.

I'm allowed to not like the responses, but the hostility was directed at other people who were offering their opinions. Specifically I was thinking about another thread, on which I had no contribution, but devolved very quickly into an argument about 'coffee dates' vs. other type of dates etc. I was just reading. May I do that without being scolded around here?

But thank you, for proving my point that 'calling people out' is far more important around here than actually helping or empathizing with what they're saying.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #4  January 9,2011, 8:32am
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I have not proved your point at all.

You have 14 pages of help on that thread you started thus proving, if anything, that plenty of people wanted to help and advise you and offer their own opinions rather than your claim of "calling people out".

I don't know if there is hostility in threads but I do see debate and entrenched opinions.
 
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MsMarie is offline MsMarie Post #5  January 9,2011, 8:36am
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I agree with you yetanotherscreename. I am new to this forum and have spent some time during the past couple of weeks just reading the posts in several different groups and there does seem to be, in my perception, an attitude of hostility ranging from passive-aggressive to openly calling someone a fool for their belief.

Because I am new to this "family" and I don't yet know the personalities of all the other folks, I acknowledge I may be offended for someone else when they may not be offended at all.

Back to reading more posts and learning about my new family.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #6  January 9,2011, 8:41am
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So you used the 'report post' button then in these instances?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  January 9,2011, 8:48am
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These boards can have very differing opinions. Some posters just love a good argument and will go off on tangents and generalized bashing ........The moderators here listen in and inject if they uncover inappropriate bashing or personal attacks . There are instructions and community guidelines about that.

When reading through the boards you can report any post you see as hate speech or personal attacks. Also, anyone can post here........someone just released from a mental hospital or prison, so ..............keep that in mind.

Some are eHarmony members, some online daters, and yet some others have an ax to grind. Most posters here mean well, are dating / in relationships and do attempt to offer sound advice. Like any other internet activity, use your own common sense

yetanotherscreename wrote :
I was thinking about another thread, on which I had no contribution, but devolved very quickly into an argument about 'coffee dates' vs. other type of dates etc. I was just reading
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #8  January 9,2011, 8:48am
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Hmmmmm. . . . . . . .

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes my responses could use a little more tact.

However, I think you need to give us a chance and stick around for a while. We're not all evil step mothers or fire breathing dragons here. And I agree with Steve - if you have a problem with a specific post, you can always report that specific post.

Otherwise, stick with us for a while - you may end up liking us. And who knows? Maybe you'll find the man of your dreams here?
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #9  January 9,2011, 8:50am
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Hostility and differing opinions abound on other dating site forums, too. I'm here to learn all I can about eHarmony (preening myself to join up in the Spring), to read about dating and relationship experiences, and to contribute advice if possible.
 
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DeltaKing is offline DeltaKing Post #10  January 9,2011, 8:50am
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1) This is very clearly about the sex thread.

2) There's a difference between hostility and disagreement.
 
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