You Have No Chance of Stimulating My Body if You Cannot Stimulate My Mind

Yes, loving your mind and your body is a ideal situation, a perfect world. It does happen everyday. I value my mind greatly but it doesn't mean he values it in same degree. Once having sex with you, at least some men would lost interest to even try to discover your mind. I guess that you have never met such men and you are a very lucky woman.

is could this one decision criteria be enough to rule out the "boink and run" guys? If so can women be taught to spot guys who look at you as an object?

Sorry Mike you had to know eventually I would use one of my creative titles.

I had someone post earlier in response to my post,

So I started thinking have I ever had a relationship with a man who didn't value my mind. Aside from my ex-husband the answer is no. So I started thinking why is that.....What I came up with is strange. My ex-husband always treated me as an object. He would complain during our divorce that I would get this or that because I understood the law. I would tell him then hopefully you have learned to look beyond the body to see if a woman has a mind. Clearly he wanted arm candy, I would like to say sorry I disappointed him but then I wouldn't mean it.

Because of my ex-husband I am very aware of men who look at women as objects. They are for me very easy to spot. They are also that last man on earth I would date no chance in heck of sex.

So the point of my post, yes there is a point, is could this one decision criteria be enough to rule out the "boink and run" guys? If so can women be taught to spot guys who look at you as an object?

Oh if anyone was wondering about the title (you know you were) one of these guys was hitting on me and that was my goodbye statement. Left the poor fool scratching both heads trying to figure out what I meant.

I really do love being me.

Jo,

I agree and feel the same way you do ... no chance with me for a woman who isn't able to stimulate my mind.

In addition, I am attracted to and stimulated by women who can tickle my soul. Humor is a huge plus!

Mike

I had met Troy twice before we went out on a date. That first date I knew he was the one. Heck if I had the time I would have headed to Macys and picked out the China pattern. I knew because I know myself very well and I know what my feelings mean and why they are leading me where they do.

Gifted women are at a disadvantage. To be valid entrants into the dating pool, we dumb ourselves down to be liked by the opposite sex. No man wants a girl smarter than he as a date!

Jo,I am right there with you. I have posted it several times here before, but the last time I dated was between 1980 and 1981. I had one serious boyfriend before I met and married my high school sweetheart. The world is different than it was 30 years ago, and I am.

Back then I was, literally, the smartest girl in the whole high school. That made me a lightning rod for humiliation by those emotionally more powerful than me. It was 20 years later I learned the dynamics when I went back to graduate school and learned how gifted children grow up. Gifted women are at a disadvantage. To be valid entrants into the dating pool, we dumb ourselves down to be liked by the opposite sex. No man wants a girl smarter than he as a date!

As a grown woman, and one who is trying to figure out this whole dating thing in the 21st century, I believe that I agree with Jo's statement. I've never had the wham bam thank you ma'am. I don't know what that is like. But it sounds like objectification. And I abhor that.

I build up walls to protect myself from objectification. And those defenses have protected me thus far.

Is the mandatory stimulation of my mind one of those defenses? What's wrong with giving in to the desire for pleasure and figuring out the whole mind stimulation thing later? I suppose I just don't have the "experience" to know the difference. I am not as experienced sexually as most people on these Boards.

Don't know. Don't have the answer. Just pursuing the thread a little farther.