dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #1  June 25,2008, 2:49pm
dmc80809's Avatar

one day at a time...

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Colorado

Posts: 240

See profile



I've just dating again aftermy divorce 4 years ago...I've been corresponding and talking on the phone a bit...had a few dates...and I am struggling with when do you tell them about your child's special needs? I have not been saying anything right away-guess I am trying to see if anything develops after the first meeting (which it hasn't on my side), and I also feel that information about my children is pretty private and not something to discuss immediately.


Any experience with telling before or onthe first date vs. on the second or 3rd date?
 
  Reply With Quote
seasidegardens is offline seasidegardens Post #2  June 26,2008, 3:36am
seasidegarden…'s Avatar

is HOT!

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Delaware

Posts: 108

See profile



Excellent question.


I always wonder too...but typically I don't put it in my "About Me" page. I do reveal that I have children because that is most definitely part of who I am....usually my daughter's autism comes up in the course of open communication as we start to become more curious about each other. I guess I like it out there early on.


I've had one gentleman leave our conversations permanently because of my daughter's autism-which is perfectly fine-and I was glad to have it resolved early.


Similarly, I also do not attempt to communicate with men who's profiles list such things as frequent or extensive travel or total spontanaiety as desirable. I love to see new places and certainly take vacations but 'frequent' and 'extensive' and 'total spontaneity' are not realistic for me. What do you think about this...am I assumng too much when I decide ahead of time which man won't blend onto our little family unit?
 
  Reply With Quote
dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #3  July 16,2008, 10:39pm
dmc80809's Avatar

one day at a time...

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Colorado

Posts: 240

See profile

Sea...love your points...I stay away from matches that desire extensive travel as well.

Many of my dates and early communications are not too open to the autism idea...its going to take that special man...sigh!
 
  Reply With Quote
abihu is offline abihu Post #4  August 4,2008, 8:33am
abihu's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

Wisconsin

Posts: 8

See profile



I could tell you all that I have NO IDEA when is or isn't the right time.


I was a single mother when she was born. I've had relationships and did marry for awhile and here I am again as a single parent. For me personally I'm very up front about my daughter. I guess I don't really want to wait it outto see howsomeone will respond.


Having walked this path as long as I have I really cannot blame anyone if they see it as something they don't want to do. God knows that had I been given the choice I wouldn't have held my hand up in the air going, "ME, ME, PICK ME!!!"( LOL, well, who knows, maybe in some sorta cosmic crazy way I did!)


I know that it is a tough one. What I have found is that while it is wonderful having someoneto be romantically involved with...the greatest gift that I have been given is my girlfriends...they are the women that make my life wonderful...with or without a fella[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
 
  Reply With Quote
dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #5  August 4,2008, 8:57pm
dmc80809's Avatar

one day at a time...

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Colorado

Posts: 240

See profile



Ok, I just had a wonderful 1st date last Thursday...I told him about my son...while it was not the main focus of our 3 hour dinner, he did ask a few questions,,,he has been emailing me, almost daily,but has not asked me out for a second date...


I'll keep everyone posted...





Dana
 
  Reply With Quote
Atlantagal1950 is offline Atlantagal1950 Post #6  August 9,2008, 7:43am

is checking out advice for the first time since Dec!

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Atlanta

Posts: 288

See profile



I have an adult daughter born with Spina Bifida. She still lives with me. I have her listed under the "Person who has been the biggest influence in my life" part of my profile. When I have been on other sites, I always put the information down in my profile. I have always said that I would rather not start communication with and meet someone who I might really like and have it be a deal breaker for them. If they are going to have a problem with it, I would rather have them never start communication with me. I have had men who obviously didn't read my profile completely stop communication when they found out.
 
  Reply With Quote
dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #7  August 9,2008, 2:57pm
dmc80809's Avatar

one day at a time...

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Colorado

Posts: 240

See profile

Hi, Atlantagal...glad to see you here!

How is your daughter doing? I think its great you have her listed on the biggest influence on your life, because, there is no doubt that our children are.

Please stop by often...we don't have to limit the discussion to just dating...

BTW, I'm still emailing with my date-send me an email every night...still no mention of second date...hmmmmm....
 
  Reply With Quote
Atlantagal1950 is offline Atlantagal1950 Post #8  August 9,2008, 6:42pm

is checking out advice for the first time since Dec!

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Atlanta

Posts: 288

See profile

dmc80809,209342 wrote :

Hi, Atlantagal...glad to see you here! How is your daughter doing? I think its great you have her listed on the biggest influence on your life, because, there is no doubt that our children are. Please stop by often...we don't have to limit the discussion to just dating... BTW, I'm still emailing with my date-send me an email every night...still no mention of second date...hmmmmm....
Thanks for the welcome. My daughter is great! I am glad to hear that you are still emailing with your date. A good sign that he didn't run as soon as he found out. Maybe the second date will come soon.
 
  Reply With Quote
dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #9  August 13,2008, 7:29pm
dmc80809's Avatar

one day at a time...

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Colorado

Posts: 240

See profile

Atlantagal1950,209658 wrote :
dmc80809,209342 wrote :

Hi, Atlantagal...glad to see you here! How is your daughter doing? I think its great you have her listed on the biggest influence on your life, because, there is no doubt that our children are. Please stop by often...we don't have to limit the discussion to just dating... BTW, I'm still emailing with my date-send me an email every night...still no mention of second date...hmmmmm....
Thanks for the welcome.* My daughter is great!* I am glad to hear that you are still emailing with your date.* A good sign that he didn't run as soon as he found out.* Maybe the second date will come soon.
Second date tomorrow night...honestly, I sense he is a little uncomfortable with my situation...but, I would expect that...we see how it goes tomorrow.
 
  Reply With Quote
laughandlove is offline laughandlove Post #10  August 17,2008, 2:41pm
laughandlove's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 6

See profile



For me, because my child with a disability is such an integral part of who I am and how I live my life, I usually remark that I have 3 children, one with special needs. If they stick around after that statement, then I have sense of their degree of integrity/interest in raising a family. I would say this comes either in the final question segment or in open communication. For me, it has been an excellent barometer of my potential match's. I have been pleasantly surprised how many men are up to the challenge, and the one's that aren't, well. . . they are missing out on a loving relationship.


Best Wishes.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« My kid has a rare disorder...how do I date around her? | Parents of Special Needs Kids | Autism mom »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Yes, you are considered aged in your thirties! Next stop, early registration for AARP! I guess we can go drown our sorrows in a bottle of prune juice now!” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“Oh, I gotcha. I was thinking of people who meet at a party, activity, or mixer and then agree to a date. Thank you for clarifying.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “It's a matter of fit” discussion

“How would I go about ending this friendship nicely?” –  generallyyou

Join the “Friend Zone” discussion

“Money isn't everything and at the end of the day, you'd have to sleep with the guy. For me, if the woman isn't kissable, she's not my type. Fact is, if you're with someone you truly love, it ... ” –  sun73

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“The iPad app allows for mass archiving and mass closing. Otherwise you have to go through each individually, twice.” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Removing old matches - there has to be a better way” discussion

“Not dumping. You're going through a lot right now. I remember when my best friend from high school lost her dad. Very traumatic, so my condolences. Hopefully you have siblings and your mom to share ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Photo Review” discussion

“...or he knows your general age and is just interested in a cougar. On the other hand, their are couples who have 20 yr age differences or more, and they are happy. For some age is just a number, and ... ” –  Altair

Join the “He is much younger” discussion

“Thanks! Hope you are doing well!” –  RiceBaby

Join the “dating venues” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:28pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0