Welcome!

Hi everyone! I'm the mom of a 13-year old diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder. To describe the road we've traveled would be a very long post and no doubt put you all to sleep :-/ Let's just say that unless you parent a special needs child, you have no idea of what's involved, and it makes dating a real challenge.

On the other hand, my son is sensitive, funny, smart, and has a big tender heart. I just wish, after years of programs, treatments, medications, diets, behavior modification...you name it...that we could find that magic something that helps him to love himself again. At this point, all I want is for him to be happy!

Probably more than you needed to read, right? LOL

Hello,

I am not a parent of a child. I am fluent in American Sign Language. I am also familiar with Epilepsy. Don't know if I can offer any input, but I thought I would join this group.

Hi!
I just found this group (after posting about my date that blew me off).
Anyway, I have a 17 year old son with autism (pdd-nos), ADD and dyslexia. He also has a very low "iq", executive functioning disoder and I love him to bits but he is like a giant teddy bear. He is also going in for another assessment as they think he may have psychiatric problems. I also have a 12 year old without any learning challenges (who is actually gifted) and lost another child to luekemia (rather not talk about that).

Although I am American, I moved here from abroad (my marriage was an intercultural/interracial one with a Dutch man) however my oldest son was from a prior relationship. His birth father couldn't handle him and my ex husband was even worse (and I tried to stick it out with him for years but at a certain point, my oldest thought his name was idiot and when he was five years old, I will never forget him asking me how to spell idiot because that was his first name).

We moved back to the US in October and I don't have a lot of friends here. Part of me chose to live here specifically because my relatives constantly wonder how I could have had a child like this when I am "so bright". They mean well but they are constantly offering suggestions as to how he ended up that way (as if it will make a difference).

There are times I just want to get out of the house and zone him out but I know that's not possible. Sometimes I think I am losing my mind listening to him speak (he can go on for HOURS on end about one topic and not notice that you're passed out) and then other times, I feel so sorry for him because I know he will never be independent. My younger son doesn't like to bring anyone home lest they meet his older brother and dating is pretty difficult. At least he has stopped asking me why he can't have a normal brother. I can't leave him alone for longer than 3 hours at a time and getting a babysitter for a hulking 17 year old is pretty hard. My younger son ends up babysitting.
Since his father wants nothing to do with him, we are literally together 24/7 unless his paternal grandmother has him over (and she can only take 2 week periods max before she calls me begging for me to come and get him because he's "Driving her crazy").

I hope my vent isn't taken the wrong way that I don't love him, I do, but sometimes I just feel so exhausted and feel as if what man will willingly sign up for a relationship with me knowing my son is part of the package. I guess that's why it hurt even more when I had finally (I thought) found someone on eHarmony that would accept him and he ended up blowing me off.

When I read about your 5-year-old son asking how to spell "idiot" just now, I burst into tears. The world is not kind to our children. I'm fortunate in that my son lives with his dad right now, because he explodes into violent bouts of temper and physically threatens me and my daughter along with breaking up the house...so it became a safety issue a year or so ago, and I asked his father, who can physically restrain him in an explosion, to take him. I felt like I was giving up my heart. But I have to think of my 12-year-old daughter, who's scared to death of her brother and wants to know why she can't have a "normal" brother.

I wish I had comforting words other than to say "you're not alone". A sense of humor is a lifesaver, particularly during dating when this topic is introduced...I can literally see the glaze drop over mens' eyes, kind of like that glaze that reptiles get when they're dozing...and I know that I'm experiencing my last date with this person!

Someone told me once that God sent my son to me because He knew I could take care of him when not too many others could. Sometimes I find comfort in that and sometimes I think, "Gee, God, thanks a lot!" (Again, weird humor).

I'm very glad you're here.