MValleyEast is offline MValleyEast Post #1  April 13,2010, 12:38pm
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I have two school age sons with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The older boy is scarcely verbal and living in residential care. The younger brother is a chatterbox and lives at home. Both have behavioral, social, and sensory issues. Yet they are bright, active, affectionate, and sweet. Add to the mix three daughters, the oldest grown and living on college campus. How do I find a good relationship? It seems most men would disqualify me as a partner because I have disabled kids, or see me and the boys as burdens. I do not want to have a potential long- term romance kibboshed because a man makes judgments about my sons and does not learn the truth about autism or about them as individuals. Any feedback, my fellow parents? I am passionate about taking the best care of these precious little guys and only want a good man in their lives.
 
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dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #2  April 21,2010, 4:48pm
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Hi, Valley and welcome to the forum...


Girl, you have your hands full...and you sound like a wonderful mom!

The cold hard facts are some men will not be interested in taking on special needs...but there are many who will...

What kind of relationship goals do you have? Are you wanting to get married? Live together?

Have you been able to meet men, go out on any dates?
 
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tanrlmd3 is offline tanrlmd3 Post #3  July 6,2010, 5:00am
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I am so glad you have addressed this issue. I have two sons that are severely autistic, and if you even mention that in any dating site, the men buck and run. Now my question is this, when do you tell them? So frustrating to say the least! These kids need love and attention, it's not that difficult if you put the time and effort into them. Ugg!
 
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dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #4  July 10,2010, 8:01am
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I think it should be mentioned pretty early on...with my boyfriend, once I felt the "click", I told him before we met...I didn't see any reason to withold the information. Yes, our kids need love and attention, but I also always felt it was only fair to tell a man upfront about it, simply because there are so many challenges in raising our kids.

I never mentioned it in my profile, primarily because I like to keep my kids out of the picture, so to speak.

Tan, many men will "run for the hills", but I also found some men did not...
 
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