Greymolken is offline Greymolken Post #1  August 5,2009, 10:00pm
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I never thought that I would have to pay a dating site to meet someone and eharmony doesn't seem to be working either. I thought that being xl would hold me back from love but it ends up being my beautiful wonderful boy with special needs. I felt that I should mention him in my profile because we come as a package deal. Everything I do and don't do is around him, how can I not mention him. People keep telling me I'm to honest and scaring people off by putting it in my profile but when do I mention it? Why waste time getting to know a person start liking them put all the effort in and then mention, by the way my son takes 4 different meds a day and has a service dog just to function through each day, never mind the therapy every week and multiple hospital and doctors appointments. I have not dated in a really long time because I felt it was unfair to the other person. It feels unfair to me now to not allow myself love because my life can be busy. Am I wrong to think it's possible to find someone to share my life with, even though it can be hectic?
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #2  August 6,2009, 9:45pm
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You're not wrong to believe it's possible to find someone, because people do. It's a little harder for us, but from a dating perspective I like to think that the men I meet who turn away because of my son's needs are simply the chaff being winnowed from the wheat! It takes a special mom to do all that you do, and it will take a special man to be part of your life.
 
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cinnamongal is offline cinnamongal Post #3  August 30,2009, 4:25pm
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Hi, I got sad when I read your post. I too have felt that I dont deserve to be out there dating and trying to find love because I spend so much time with my 7 y/o and his needs. It's not that he requires so much attention but more that he is #1 priority(besides my Christian pursuits of course). But why do we allow the seeming rejection of possible suitors color our outlook on life and love? Our kids are so beautiful and they make us better people. They teach us so many valuable life lessons and bring joy that is unsurpassed. What is sad is that there aren't many men(and women) who want to take the time to even get to know us if we include our child(ren) in our profiles. Really a pity.
 
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dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #4  September 27,2009, 4:25pm
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one day at a time...

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Hi, Grey, I am delayed in responding to you...

I know how you are feeling...you are asking yourself "how could I possibly ask someone to take on all the huge responsibility with a child that has severe, special needs..."

I met a man a year ago...had the same fears...thought for sure I would send him running for the hills...I very slowly introduced him to "my world"...just a little bit at a time...its been a slow introduction, but as he got to know my kid, and the more I saw how he reacted, the more confident I became...

He told me recently that he can, indeed, do all this with my son...he is very kind and generous with him...

Don't be afraid...when you meet a special person, take it slow, pace it to where you and your child will feel at ease...you will be pleasantly surprised!


And not trying to influence your decision about putting your son in your profile, but I took it out of mine...for a couple of reasons...first, the status of my children is very personal, and only something I will share if during the first date I feel an interest in seeing this person again...I also think many people have an unfair knee jerk reaction...give them a chance to know you a bit, and if you feel they have EARNED the right to know about your child, then you talk with them about it...

Just my 2 cents...
 
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