don62944 is offline don62944 Post #1  July 26,2009, 7:19pm
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My X decided 3 weeks ago to no longer have any contact with our youngest. She has had only about an hour a week in the past, dinner then drop off.on Fridays. My daughter accepted this so she still had a "mommy". I am working with therapists to work with my daughter on the goodby, after I got a court order to force my x to follow through on the goodby. It is a sad state of affair for a child to go through this after everything else she has gone through. The mother continues to live in the same small town and I am trying to decide if I uproot my kids, 14 year old starting high school this year as I don't know any other way to avoid contact now that her mother will no longer accknowledge her as her daughter. The really sad thing is Serena, my daughter has become a child doing great in school and just returned from a week at the Boys & Girls club with no problems. Finances are not a problem with a move just not sure what to do. Originally from California but no family and not sure of the help with the problems Calif is having, open to advise.
 
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dmc80809 is offline dmc80809 Post #2  July 27,2009, 2:53pm
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Hi, Don, I am very sorry to hear that your kids mom is withdrawing from their lives...is it due to the disability?

There are no easy answers here...I have found that seeking a couple of sessions with a good family therapist can help...

Sending my best to you and the kids...

Dana
 
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don62944 is offline don62944 Post #3  July 27,2009, 3:30pm
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Thanks for the note. She wanted to do things and not be tied down with the responsibility but Serena does not understand that. Serena has a therapist and we have a family therapist but I still can't understand walking away from your child no mater what the reason.
 
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Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #4  August 3,2009, 6:42pm
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That is tough, I work with special ed kids and they get this kind of treatment all to often. It is never easy, but kids do find ways to explain the circumstances in ways that make some sense to them. If you are going to make a move it should be before the transition to high school. I know these days kids are moved a great deal more than in the past but it does help if you get to go through adolescence with the same friends and community. Do you have any relatives who could provide extended family? A grandma or grandparent figure could really be a help to a young girl. I had a wonderful great aunt who was always there to give me encouragement. Luckily my daughter got to experience her too. Continuity is a great luxury these days
Best wishes to all.
 
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cinnamongal is offline cinnamongal Post #5  August 7,2009, 7:01pm
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That is sad. I can't understand a mother(or father for that matter) not wanting to be with their child. I think it is becoming more prevalent these days. Just be sure to give lots of positive reinforcement to her. Constantly reassure her of her worth and what she has to offer. Sounds like she's doing very well so you're doing something right. Wishing you the very best.
 
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srb1968 is offline srb1968 Post #6  August 12,2009, 4:49am
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I really can't understand why a mother would ever to this. Are all your children adopted? All your kids must have their own special needs. I guess maybe some people are just not cut out to handle it
 
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TamiH is offline TamiH Post #7  October 12,2009, 4:07am
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Serena is really lucky to have you Don. Two good parents is great, but one great parent can be just as good or even better!
 
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