jayjay is offline jayjay Post #1  April 17,2010, 5:06pm
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This came up in the 'Who's your Daddy now?' thread....but I thought it could make an interesting topic of its own.

Do you think a woman having the 'right to choose' whether to have an abortion or not should be accompanied by the sole responsibility to pay for the support of the child if an abortion is not chosen? If the man has no say in the decision....should he be held responsible for the financial consequences?
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  April 17,2010, 5:53pm
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It's not Right the man has no say. I've heard of cases where the man went to Court to try and stop the abortion, without success.

It's not Right anybody would try to force an abortion on anybody else. For some people, it's Right and Wrong, life and death, murder or not.

Since it's a child.....a living, breathing, human being.....I favor child support by both. Even when it's not his choice.

Life ain't fair, sometimes.

It's just Life.

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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #3  April 17,2010, 7:12pm
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If I had a child without the express consent and cooperation of a man, I would assume full responsibility for the financial burden of that child.

That said, you can't really relate one to the other. A man "choosing" to have some say in the birth of a child would be dictating what a woman does with her own body - pregnancy and childbirth against her will. There's no way in my mind that should ever happen.

But, if a child is born, and if it is determined that the man is the father, he is fiscally responsible. There is no reasonable argument that a living child should suffer because two adults can't behave like adults.

In case you can't tell, I am pro-choice. The alternative for men, should they be concerned (and they should be) is to take every precaution available to ensure that they do not get a woman pregnant unless they intend to and it is a mutual decision. In my experience, most men leave the responsibility for birth control solely up to the woman.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #4  April 18,2010, 8:07am
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A guy should be held responsible for a child he helped create even if he didn't want the woman to keep the baby.

Why? Sex comes with it's risks. Even with protection, accidental pregnancies may occur.

However, if the guy honestly doubts the baby is his, he should ask for a paternity test. Why? If he accepts responsibility for the baby and later finds out it is not his, he may be forced by the courts to continue supporting the child.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  April 18,2010, 8:33am
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jayjay wrote :
This came up in the 'Who's your Daddy now?' thread....but I thought it could make an interesting topic of its own.

Do you think a woman having the 'right to choose' whether to have an abortion or not should be accompanied by the sole responsibility to pay for the support of the child if an abortion is not chosen? If the man has no say in the decision....should he be held responsible for the financial consequences?
No, and Yes. Every time a man has sex there's a chance a child will be created. If he's unwilling to support a child, he needs to make sure he doesn't create one. If he's created one, accidentally or not, he has to provide a fair share of support.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  April 18,2010, 8:35am
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The fail-safe for accidental pregnancy is termination of pregnancy, not indroduction of excess, unwanted children into the world.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  April 18,2010, 8:41am
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True, but really D_Lion you cannot force an abortion on someone who doesn't want one, can you?
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #8  April 18,2010, 8:50am
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D_Lion wrote :
The fail-safe for accidental pregnancy is termination of pregnancy, not indroduction of excess, unwanted children into the world.
And when you are faced with the choice of bearing a pregnancy and raising a child without support or having an invasive procedure to terminate the potential life you are bearing, I will fully support your right to that fail-safe.

Until then, your choices are: no sex, definite means of no procreation (vasectomy), or accept the potential consequences when you choose to play. Women have understood this for centuries. You're responsibility does not end simply because you choose the action but do not want to accept responsibility for the consequences.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; April 18,2010 at 9:00am.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  April 18,2010, 11:13am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
True, but really D_Lion you cannot force an abortion on someone who doesn't want one, can you?

Legally, no (I am sure) - which is why the reasonable alternative is not to have economic exposure (or, a future ability to assert a right as a parent or interfere in the woman's life, for that matter.)


littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
And when you are faced with the choice of bearing a pregnancy and raising a child without support or having an invasive procedure to terminate the potential life you are bearing, I will fully support your right to that fail-safe.

Until then, your choices are: no sex, definite means of no procreation (vasectomy), or accept the potential consequences when you choose to play. Women have understood this for centuries. You're responsibility does not end simply because you choose the action but do not want to accept responsibility for the consequences.

The maximum consequence is 50% of the "emergency birth control." That's the potential consequence for the action.

Anything beyond that is no longer a consequence of my action, but a result of her choice. As stated, I do not agree with one party creating - from their own choice - a legal liability on another party.

One birth control method ought not be legally distinct, since there is not, so far as I am aware, any that are "foolproof."
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #10  April 18,2010, 11:36am
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D_Lion wrote :
Legally, no (I am sure) - which is why the reasonable alternative is not to have economic exposure (or, a future ability to assert a right as a parent or interfere in the woman's life, for that matter.)





The maximum consequence is 50% of the "emergency birth control." That's the potential consequence for the action.

Anything beyond that is no longer a consequence of my action, but a result of her choice. As stated, I do not agree with one party creating - from their own choice - a legal liability on another party.

One birth control method ought not be legally distinct, since there is not, so far as I am aware, any that are "foolproof."
Possible consequences of sex = pregnancy. Possible consequences of pregnancy = a child. Choose the action and you choose the consequences...all of them, not just the ones that seem reasonable to you. Both people created the pregnancy. Both people should agree on the outcome. But, in the absence of that agreement, and in the case of a birth, the welfare of the child comes first. You consented to the possibility of (and obligaton to) a child when you engaged in sex. That's just how it is.

Is it fair? Not really. On the other hand, is it fair that a woman should base her decision on what to do regarding a pregnancy on your concern for your future financial viability?

And let's be clear here. The "emergency contraception" you're talking about is abortion, so let's just call it what it is. That's a surgical procedure. It is invasive and it comes with risk, both physical and emotional. Risk that you don't have to face.

As to your generous offer to pay half and consider it fair, I would respond that when you are in a position to have to be sedated and have a fetus scraped and vacuumed out of your insides, then paying half would be fair. Until then, you should say thank you to any woman willing to go through that to save you 18 years of child support and pony up the full cost.
 
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