I'm not sure I did the right thing, what do you think??


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s_jams is offline s_jams Post #1  September 1,2009, 8:43pm
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Hey there,

I'm new here, this is my first attempt at this, it's interesting. I started guided communication with a guy that seemed really great and then he just didn't respond! We were like at level 3! I was getting really excited.
I wasn't sure what to think about it so I closed the match. I'm not sure if I should have just waited, I'm not sure if I did the right thing. My understanding is that if a guy puts you on hold, or doesn't get back to you, it probably means he's just not "that" into you? I'd really like a man's perspective on this, thanks!

S
 
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TheGirl is offline TheGirl Post #2  September 1,2009, 8:49pm
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Don't stress. Either he met someone who is higher on the list and wants to leave you hanging while he checks her out, or he's just taking a break. Nevertheless, he should check in with you. If he had other priorities, he can always ask you to re-open the closed match. Close the match and move on.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #3  September 1,2009, 9:07pm
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s_jams wrote :
Hey there,

I'm new here, this is my first attempt at this, it's interesting. I started guided communication with a guy that seemed really great and then he just didn't respond! We were like at level 3! I was getting really excited.
I wasn't sure what to think about it so I closed the match. I'm not sure if I should have just waited, I'm not sure if I did the right thing. My understanding is that if a guy puts you on hold, or doesn't get back to you, it probably means he's just not "that" into you? I'd really like a man's perspective on this, thanks!

S

How long did you give him to respond to you??
 
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s_jams is offline s_jams Post #4  September 1,2009, 9:29pm
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three days, was that too fast???
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #5  September 1,2009, 9:31pm
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Same question here. How much time did you give him to respond before you determined he wasn't going to respond? A day? A week? A month?
Another thing. Don't get so excited. Temper your enthusiasm for after you meet people in person. Doing the other way around is asking for dissapointment.
 
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s_jams is offline s_jams Post #6  September 1,2009, 9:37pm
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well we were communicating back and forth on Sunday and I sent answers to his questions Sunday night and to my surprise by tuesday..........nothing. So I was like, what happened?
 
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s_jams is offline s_jams Post #7  September 1,2009, 9:43pm
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it's hard to not get excited, but I'm learning...... we were communicating a lot back and forth Sunday and I sent answers to his questions and then to my surprise......it's Tuesday and nothing. So it was a couple of days...............not to sure what to think about it.
Last edited by s_jams; September 1,2009 at 10:34pm. Reason: oops sorry
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  September 2,2009, 2:22am
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You closed the match waaayy too soon. What does it hurt to leave the match open? There are several reasons why he may not have answered you right away, from maybe not being home to maybe too busy communicating with others (which is what you should be doing).

Internet matching is a numbers thing. The odds of a particular match being the 'one' are very slim, so you need to be communicating with as many people as you feel comfortable with in your elimination process. As an example, you're going to find that out of about 20 matches that you actually have some communication with, maybe 2 of those will lead to a date. If you're lucky, one of those two may lead to a second date. What's the chance of that one leading to a third and subsequent date and being 'the one'? Slim - real slim.

Secondly, don't get excited. Trust me, your excitement will soon turn to disappointment after you start meeting some of these people and you'll see why it's important to get out and meet as many people as you can to eliminate all but the 'one'.

Don't be afraid to close matches because you don't like things in their profile or you don't find them attractive. That's all part of the process. A lot of your matches will be closing you because of those things so get used to it. But don't close them out because they didn't answer right away because you just lost your chance to actually meet the guy.

Good luck and have fun.
Last edited by tweet37; September 2,2009 at 2:27am.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #9  September 2,2009, 7:40am
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WOW ! disclaimer time again: anything posted here is not in any way intended to anger or insult anyone or no one for that matter of either gender.

Just some advice for you. Patience, patience and oh yeah lots and lots more patience is needed for this adventure.

Give people time and please try not to get emotional just sending messages with anyone.

Look at this as a business deal first and that means leave your emotions at the door until you feel you need them.

Running on emotion can and often will result in a train wreck. Just some food for thought based on personal experience over several years and not specific to this site or any others.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #10  September 2,2009, 9:25am
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So really, it was only less than 2 days. He didn't respond in 2 days and you closed him out.
Do you see how random and unforgiving that is?
He might have had things to do on Monday that simply were more important than logging into EH and answering questions. I'll bet he was simply working on Monday (like most of us do) and his company probably blocks out social networking and dating sites. He get's home Monday night and thinks to log into EH but is too tired and figures that he'll try the next day. Tuesday comes along and after work, he logs in to see you closed him out suddenly without any reason (in his mind).
Tuesday night we posts on the advice boards this thread:
"Why do I keep getting rejected? What's wrong with me?"
 
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