Can men and women just be platonic friends?


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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #1  July 12,2009, 9:46am

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I think we can. There was another thread on this a month or two ago and I said no, we can't just be platonic friends. But I was wrong; maybe I was just in a pi ssy mood. Some of my best friends has been with women. I suppose there might always be some se xual tension in the relationship.

What do you think?
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #2  July 12,2009, 11:58am

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Yea, I saw "Harry Met Sally" the other night and thought about that same discussion that they had on the film. Very challenging - no, it's been impossible for this man to be friends with a single woman (or even one in a relationship, for that matter) if she's attractive. If she's relatively unattractive it's easier...I had a few for a long time. How come? Guess it goes back to biology.

I also have a hard time dealing with the breakup suggestion, "let's just be friends" and have found that next to impossible as well.

I also have met so many that claim it can exist with them (men or women having attractive yet "platonic" friends); only to have it end up with them breaking up a relationship to be with the "friend"....
 
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ANDR3W is offline ANDR3W Post #3  July 15,2009, 7:38am
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This may be a stupid question but what are platonic friends for? And what is there to be gained from having an attractive platonic friend anyway. My closest friends are some of my classmates and frat brothers from college, and my platonic friends are mostly their girlfriends and wives as well as my female coworkers. None of my best friends are female, this is because sexual tension is not a good basis for a friendship. Also you can speak more openly with your male friends then when your in mixed company. Am i wrong to to feel this way?
 
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Winelight is offline Winelight Post #4  July 15,2009, 12:18pm
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Although I do believe men and women can be platonic friends, but in the same breath I feel it takes a special connection for this to happen. A platonic relationship usually has a very strong bond because both parties feel comfortable enough with the other to share even the deepest secrets. It would be very difficult for any new boyfriend or girlfriend, of either of these platonic friends, to come between them.
 
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Ludiusvox is offline Ludiusvox Post #5  July 15,2009, 6:02pm
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There has to be no way. I really don't think so.
 
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sugarnotprissy is offline sugarnotprissy Post #6  July 15,2009, 7:02pm
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Yes it is possible for men to have platonic friends. My experience is when a woman has known a man before he becane a man, knew him as a boy, it is easy to remain their friend. The sexual tension of the teenage years are dealt with as many guys are too shy to hit on their "girl" friend. Once past that stage, I tended to relate to a guy as a woman-giving him advice on other girls-took me out of line of fire. In our forties, most of my "guy" friends enjoy having me to talk to, only downside is they are slightly protective and offer unwanted advice about other men.
 
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #7  July 16,2009, 12:46pm

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Let's make sure we've got a clear definition of Platonic love; if you google it, it gives you this; basically, you can say "I love you" to the friend, and yet not feel any sexual attraction to them. That is why, in reality, it's almost impossible to have a "Platonic" friend of the opposite sex, let alone one who's attractive. I'm not saying it's impossible; you have a great degree of "Platonic idealism" (google it) if you can honestly say "I love you", repeatedly, over a long time, to a friend of the opposite sex. Congratulations on reaching a very rare, high ideal. [OK, now stop the B.S.; we know what you're thinking ]
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #8  July 16,2009, 7:25pm
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Yes, it is possible. One of my closest friends is male and also a work colleague. Outside work, we usually just hang out at each other's home and chat. We don't date.
 
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ANDR3W is offline ANDR3W Post #9  July 17,2009, 6:01am
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I don't doubt that its possible, but what is it for? What are the benefits of having a platonic friendship? Is it all about hanging out at each others house and chatting?
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #10  July 17,2009, 8:02pm
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ANDR3W wrote :
I don't doubt that its possible, but what is it for? What are the benefits of having a platonic friendship? Is it all about hanging out at each others house and chatting?
Sometimes yes - it is about hanging out and chatting. Or watching telly, or whatever we're doing. It's also about mutual support, understanding, reliability and sharing similar interests. None of my female friends share my interests. If I had to use one word to describe our friendship: peaceful.
 
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