Can men and women just be platonic friends?


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ErikaD is offline ErikaD Post #11  July 18,2009, 9:42am
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When You feel - no chemistry there - it can be. But question will be open allways...
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #12  July 18,2009, 6:37pm
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Winelight wrote :
Although I do believe men and women can be platonic friends, but in the same breath I feel it takes a special connection for this to happen. A platonic relationship usually has a very strong bond because both parties feel comfortable enough with the other to share even the deepest secrets. It would be very difficult for any new boyfriend or girlfriend, of either of these platonic friends, to come between them.
I think it's possible, but the thought of getting together will pop in and out for both parties. On the other hand, if you had that deep a relationship with someone why wouldn't you want to take it further?

I also think a new bf or gf would have a difficult time with the relationship, especiallty if they have the Harry / Sally philosophy.
 
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dixielee is offline dixielee Post #13  July 19,2009, 4:33am
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Men and women can definitely be platonic friends. Some of my close friends are male, and we have good relationships. They teach me alot about the male point of view, as well as more practical things like home and car repair! They are just as easy to talk with and share things with as my female friends, and I usually have good relationships with the women in their lives, as well.
Comedian Chris Rock once said something similar to "women can have men as friends and not sleep with them, men just have female friends they haven't slept with yet!"
I think what it comes down to is what kind of friend can you be? Can you only think of the opposite gender in terms of "sex or no sex", or can you appreciate them for the person they are, and like them with no strings attached?
 
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ANDR3W is offline ANDR3W Post #14  July 19,2009, 6:31am
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If given the choice between relationship a.) where sex is possible and relationship b.) where sex is not possible why would anyone chose b? What can a platonic relationship offer you that a sexual relationship can't?
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #15  July 19,2009, 8:32pm
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ANDR3W wrote :
If given the choice between relationship a.) where sex is possible and relationship b.) where sex is not possible why would anyone chose b? What can a platonic relationship offer you that a sexual relationship can't?
Perhaps because relationships without sex are less complex?

Don't know - perhaps it is a man/woman thing? Sure, I think about sex and men ... but I don't usually apply this to men in my life. I guess because I'm not sexually attracted to them?
 
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ANDR3W is offline ANDR3W Post #16  July 20,2009, 1:52pm
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meri75 wrote :
Perhaps because relationships without sex are less complex?

Don't know - perhaps it is a man/woman thing? Sure, I think about sex and men ... but I don't usually apply this to men in my life. I guess because I'm not sexually attracted to them?
Intimate relationships are more complex, but they're also more interesting and worthwhile. Are your platonic friends as important to you as your female friends? Is your closest friend a platonic friend? My theory is that women place the men who court them into one of two categories. The men who posses traits that they desire are granted access into the intimate relationship category. The men who don't are relegated to the platonic relationship category.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #17  July 20,2009, 6:37pm
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ANDR3W wrote :
Intimate relationships are more complex, but they're also more interesting and worthwhile. Are your platonic friends as important to you as your female friends? Yes.
Is your closest friend a platonic friend? Yes, currently. This was not always so.
My theory is that women place the men who court them into one of two categories. The men who posses traits that they desire are granted access into the intimate relationship category. The men who don't are relegated to the platonic relationship category.
Your theory is interesting and certainly has some merit. There are men in my platonic relationship category for the following reasons:
~ not physically available (he might be married or not want LDR)
~ not emotionally available (interesting man, needs to grow up)
~ not available on his terms (something I can't accept - usually to do with his/my thoughts on either sex or church)

I have no problem viewing these men as friends with no sexual potential.
 
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ANDR3W is offline ANDR3W Post #18  July 21,2009, 1:15am
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meri75 wrote :
Your theory is interesting and certainly has some merit. There are men in my platonic relationship category for the following reasons:
~ not physically available (he might be married or not want LDR)
~ not emotionally available (interesting man, needs to grow up)
~ not available on his terms (something I can't accept - usually to do with his/my thoughts on either sex or church)

I have no problem viewing these men as friends with no sexual potential.
Fascinating, that makes alot of sense. But how does it benefit you to have men with no sexual potential as friends? Do these men have qualities that make them good candidates for a friendship or does the friendship represent a limit to the amount of involvement that your are willing to have with them?
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #19  July 21,2009, 2:13am
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ANDR3W wrote :
Fascinating, that makes alot of sense. But how does it benefit you to have men with no sexual potential as friends? Do these men have qualities that make them good candidates for a friendship or does the friendship represent a limit to the amount of involvement that your are willing to have with them?
One of my early-on partners would get occasionally violent. As you may imagine, this did cause some damage in being able to trust men or wanting them in my vicinity etc. It is through my male friends that my capacity to trust men has been repaired.

His thinking process seems to differ to mine and he brings to my attention scenarios I haven't considered. I find this one mostly occurs in relation to work. At first, I thought it was due to experience (he is seven years older); until I noticed it was the same with other male colleagues. Their insights have definitely contributed to my successfulness in my role.

The former, the qualities are there. Is it even possible the other way around? I mean, from what I've read and been told by others, it would be difficult for a man to have a non-sexual friendship with a woman he sexually desires?
 
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shellyg is offline shellyg Post #20  July 21,2009, 6:26am
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YES!
 
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