Why do you close out Matches on E Harmony?


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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #1  July 5,2009, 7:52pm

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I suppose there can be 1001 reasons for closing out someone. Maybe they remind you of someone. Or they have the wrong hair color, eye color, height, weight, State they live in, job, how their profile is set up
and/or if you are attracted to them.

Plus we all have pet peeves. Here's a few reasons why I close out matches:


1) She's a feminist and states she's into women's rights.
Nope, been there, done that and won't do it again.

2) She states on her profile that she "doesn't need a man" but might want one to place in her corner lamp area.

3) She throws her kids at me...I see she has written down kids three times on her profile. Uhm I'm thinking well where do I fit in? She has too many pictures of her kids. Uhm...nah, I'll pass. I'm looking to date a woman. Her family is a 2nd thought. Nope, been there, done that.

4)She comes across like a Drill Sgt, Career woman [who has NO ROOM for you in her heart] or other troubling thingie.

5) She's playing games. Nuff said.

6) I'm not attracted to her. Didn't my grandmother, aka 1920, look like her? Uhm my pe nis wants to take a pass and look at other women.

7) We have no connection...nothing in common. Our values are too different.

8) Personal-I do use facial reading...the eyes say it all. Whether she had a rough life, if she has a big heart, if she might be cruel [ok this method isn't 100% perfect but it's thousands of years old.]

9) We inhabit different Universes. She goes out of her way on her profile to push me away [she just talks about being a mother and btw, "I have no time for other things."]

...I'm a Comet passing by...looking for a space station to take a stop. Hopefully forever.

10) Murphy's Law ______insert anything here

11) Her photograph! What? Uhm...she's sloppily dressed up [is that a 20 year old nightgown?] Or she's in sweatpants and looks horrible.

12) Oh it's the old one picture, but it's a group picture. Nah I don't play the "guess who is me" game. It's always the one on the far left or right with__________ [fill in any words there.]

13) She's too much into religion. I see the word God and/or Jesus three xs on her profile....hmm maybe she's not for me.

14) She hates men and/or is angry. Yes vibes can be picked up.

15) She has three kids, five cats, four dogs, a horse, two fish and...should I continue? Nah...I don't think so. I don't feel welcomed...that's me.

16) She's too politically correct and/or states she's ultra Liberal. Or she's too Liberal for me. Been there, done that in 1982.

17) She's so into her career that I can't see myself in her life. Or she goes out of her way on her profile to boast about her career? Uhm, that's NOT se xy?

18) She's not very intelligent, not creative or doesn't have a sense of humor.

19) She's a cardboard cut out of what the media considers is a "woman." In a word, unoriginal. In the late 1990s in my area that meant the rich White women living in rich White places had very short hair with a reddish tint. Many working class women copied that style? Weird. I think they hung out in packs...as my ex-wife worked for them. What's with the reddish tint? A secret
code?

20) I don't know...but I can think of something...

Actually I have a lot of matches. I live in a large metro area. I can be very lenient and open minded. Sometimes I think right away "no way" but give someone a chance to see if we have any connection.

How about you? Why do you close out people? I'll be honest, sometimes I go thru periods where I don't close out anyone.

c2009 sei all rights reserved
Last edited by outlaw1; July 5,2009 at 8:04pm. Reason: it's a secret...
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #2  July 5,2009, 7:53pm

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Is the above too insensitive?
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #3  July 5,2009, 8:06pm

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Women I don't automatically close:

They have a smile, they are original, friendly, have a sense of humor, I'm attracted to them, they are comfortable with themselves,
they aren't a natural beauty but have a deep soul...and/or down to Earth nature.
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #4  July 5,2009, 8:32pm
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outlaw1 wrote :
Women I don't automatically close:

They have a smile, they are original, friendly, have a sense of humor, I'm attracted to them, they are comfortable with themselves,
they aren't a natural beauty but have a deep soul...and/or down to Earth nature.

I was starting to worry about you for a sec there.... I guess this can be related to the "only look at pictures" (or something like that thread)

Yes I look at pictures first... look FOR
Genuine smile
doing activities I like (to bad don't include bedroom... laugh darn-it, is joke!!!!)
Um, the one with a guy's hand draped on her breast kinda said "no"
back to what I like: you can see "class"
In all honesty never thought would get past 1st questions with girl I am dating exclusively now (closed all matches, not receiving more)... what the heck is up with that? OK she is reason I closed all my matches.. good enough? In actuality, still have a couple to close, waiting for response to questions so I can close with personal message (think just sending "close" is far to impersonal. I've received those, know it hurts, would never treat someone in a way which would be hurtful if done to me. I feel they deserve thanks for their interest and better explanation (along with earnest wish for their success).
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Last edited by olneyjeeps; July 5,2009 at 8:34pm.
 
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55Production is offline 55Production Post #5  July 7,2009, 10:31am
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I think closing matches for any reason is a good idea. I was so busy closing them it took a while for someone to close me. That's when I found out that the reasons were received by the other person. After that I just marked 'other'. I close for religious reasons right away. I don't want to go to church and I guess somewhere someone got the idea that if the woman goes to church she'll be great. I also close because of pictures and also some political views.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #6  July 9,2009, 11:43pm

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Originally Posted by outlaw1

Women I don't automatically close:

They have a smile, they are original, friendly, have a sense of humor, I'm attracted to them, they are comfortable with themselves, they aren't a natural beauty but have a deep soul...and/or down to Earth nature.
--------------------------------------------------------------


[B wrote :
olneyjeeps[/b];664333]I was starting to worry about you for a sec there.... I guess this can be related to the "only look at pictures" (or something like that thread)

Yes I look at pictures first... look FOR
Genuine smile
doing activities I like (to bad don't include bedroom... laugh darn-it, is joke!!!!)
Um, the one with a guy's hand draped on her breast kinda said "no"
back to what I like: you can see "class"
In all honesty never thought would get past 1st questions with girl I am dating exclusively now (closed all matches, not receiving more)... what the heck is up with that? OK she is reason I closed all my matches.. good enough? In actuality, still have a couple to close, waiting for response to questions so I can close with personal message (think just sending "close" is far to impersonal. I've received those, know it hurts, would never treat someone in a way which would be hurtful if done to me. I feel they deserve thanks for their interest and better explanation (along with earnest wish for their success).

Hey Jeeps, yeah I think I wasn't in a good mood when I wrote that long list... Some women are so striking or their personalities so original that I have to do a whoa!
And take a step back. Ah pictures-I was taught face reading plus I used to be a photographer. The eyes tell all...

Bedroom-ok joke by me. Class is important. Hey congratulations on meeting a good woman! Sensitivity is a good thing-per you closing out matches. I'll bet your new woman appreciates that in you.
Last edited by outlaw1; July 9,2009 at 11:45pm. Reason: the new eha platform doesn't copy original quote
 
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #7  July 10,2009, 6:15am

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outlaw1 wrote :
Is the above too insensitive?
Glad you sensed that. I kind of agree; you're either being too insensitive, or not selective enough; maybe your range of choices is too great. I've used EH twice before, once when they first got started (4-5 years ago), once about a year ago; the first time I actually got bumped off! (I recall seeing a TV ad by one of their competitors about this) and the one about a year ago was very slow to produce any choices; but I was being very particular. Try narrowing your choices; putting down that it's either "important" or "must have" and you'll have less matches to close.

By the way, I noticed you're turned off by "feminists"? I'm a healthy hetero, but consider myself a feminist as well; I think women should have the same rights as men. We need to overcome these last minor prejudices...there are plenty of beautiful, men loving "feminists" out there....
 
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bluenme is offline bluenme Post #8  July 10,2009, 6:23am
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just wondering what gues thru some people's minds

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I try to overlook misspellings, but tend to close matches that can't spell words less than 5 letters.

Like most, I do like seeing a photo. I want to see how he smiles and his eyes.

Most of the time I go with my gut reaction to a match.
 
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cfibl is offline cfibl Post #9  July 11,2009, 11:22am
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No longer a paying member, but here's why I used to close out matches:

1.) Not physically attracted to them. Just like about everybody, I have to be physically attracted to my partner or it's just not going to work. I'm not looking for a super model (I'm certainly not one) but someone who I'd at least consider reasonably attractive.

2.) No photo. IMO someone who doesn't post a photo is most likely either extremely unattractive or extremely insecure. Either way, I don't want to get involved. I would usually send out a photo request and give them a week or two to post one.

3.) Too tall. I'm a pretty short guy (5'6") so anyone who was taller than 5'8" I'd close (unless they beat me to it). I just wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who's significantly taller than I am.

4.) Too many kids. I prefer zero, one is ok, two is pushing it, and 3 or more is a deal breaker.

5.) Stopped showing interest in me. Basically closed out all of the poofers.

6.) Any red flags that show the person is a whacko. Whether that's politically (for both left and right wing), religiously, etc.

I think that's pretty much it.
 
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Wordless is offline Wordless Post #10  July 17,2009, 2:03am
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55Production wrote :
I think closing matches for any reason is a good idea. I was so busy closing them it took a while for someone to close me. That's when I found out that the reasons were received by the other person. After that I just marked 'other'. I close for religious reasons right away. I don't want to go to church and I guess somewhere someone got the idea that if the woman goes to church she'll be great. I also close because of pictures and also some political views.


oh dear.. you mean.. when i close out ppl the boxes i marked are showed to them +_+ .... yah i think ima follow what you did... other it is O_O


I close out if theirs simply not ENOUGH information on board. The matches I have kept have one or two things incorporated into their profile that make me laugh or at least unconsiously smile.

The info you write down about your self is meant to attract others by showing who YOU are. You dont write anything down.. then your a blank slate that can be inferred as anything at all.
Last edited by Wordless; July 17,2009 at 2:06am.
 
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