Ladies, here's how to find a keeper


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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #1  June 26,2009, 10:07pm

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Is your potential mate a family man? Does he hold the values that you want him to hold? If you are looking for a stable man who will stick with you over thick and thin and over the long haul, then maybe you want to date a family man.

Think about it. If your man to be is a family man, then odds are better even when you get older, he will want to stick around. Why? Because family men, well love their families! So find out what his interests are towards loyalty per families.

Ok I just whipped this up and have not fully thought out anything beyond this central theme. I'm sure you women can think up creative questions to see if your potential lover is a potential family man.

What do you think? Btw here's a few clues as to whether he is a family man:

1) He's told you that he had a small family or he had a hard childhood and "family is the only thing that matters."

2)Maybe he was an orphan and now appreciates family.

3) Maybe he didn't get enough attention/love from his busy parents while he was growing up. See if this translates into his wanting to give back to his child/ren.

4) Did he feel abandoned as a child? Maybe he won't abandon his children because of that.

5) He's sensitive or empathic.

6) He's a good man.

7) He's an animal lover and children flock to him.


Do you have a question to ask men to see if they would make a good family man?

c2009 sei women find a family man
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #2  June 27,2009, 1:35pm

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Uck! I had thought family men would get more of a bite? Hmm maybe that's not a sexy enough sounding phrase...
 
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123listen is offline 123listen Post #3  June 27,2009, 8:38pm
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Hi outlaw1 again great topic from a perspective of a man with kids. I agree that your list of questions if a family man does center whats important in a mans life it will show there. Through alot of experiences early on in life have made me very aware of validating and showing the importance of not only my kids but people in general. I really live to see my kids facial expressions it helps me monitor if I'm doing it right. hopefully it will show to other woman that even if they have children they can be treated equally. I sometimes wonder if woman see the externals of what they consider successful in a man and think the internal will just follow.. hers a example since the divorce I put the kids stability and security before myself and had to start completely over from scratch.new network of friends , church and apartment. found contentment and very happy of the person I am. glad I didn't follow the stastics of the new fancy car and great place with all the furnishings that some men find themselves doing after there divorce that to was my choice . but I hope it does show where my prioritys are
 
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Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #4  July 1,2009, 11:29pm
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123listen wrote :
Hi outlaw1 again great topic from a perspective of a man with kids. I agree that your list of questions if a family man does center whats important in a mans life it will show there. Through alot of experiences early on in life have made me very aware of validating and showing the importance of not only my kids but people in general. I really live to see my kids facial expressions it helps me monitor if I'm doing it right. hopefully it will show to other woman that even if they have children they can be treated equally. I sometimes wonder if woman see the externals of what they consider successful in a man and think the internal will just follow.. hers a example since the divorce I put the kids stability and security before myself and had to start completely over from scratch.new network of friends , church and apartment. found contentment and very happy of the person I am. glad I didn't follow the stastics of the new fancy car and great place with all the furnishings that some men find themselves doing after there divorce that to was my choice . but I hope it does show where my prioritys are
Hi,
Observant thinkers with humility will see the things in a person that are important. Being who you are, staying faithful to your conscience
and knowing that YOUR KIDS SEE, is the most important thing there is.

Take care,
Lisa
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #5  July 2,2009, 1:54pm

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123listen wrote :
Hi outlaw1 again great topic from a perspective of a man with kids. I agree that your list of questions if a family man does center whats important in a mans life it will show there. Through alot of experiences early on in life have made me very aware of validating and showing the importance of not only my kids but people in general. I really live to see my kids facial expressions it helps me monitor if I'm doing it right. hopefully it will show to other woman that even if they have children they can be treated equally. I sometimes wonder if woman see the externals of what they consider successful in a man and think the internal will just follow.. hers a example since the divorce I put the kids stability and security before myself and had to start completely over from scratch.new network of friends , church and apartment. found contentment and very happy of the person I am. glad I didn't follow the stastics of the new fancy car and great place with all the furnishings that some men find themselves doing after there divorce that to was my choice . but I hope it does show where my prioritys are

Thanks 123listen! With much humility I appreciate your words. Great post and I try to put people in my life before my career whenever it's possible. My son has taught me so much as has my ex-wife. In fact I asked my son to help me overcome venting [which I now rarely do offline.]

Simply he pointed out [and still does]when I'm about to get upset. Oh yeah that was what killed my older brother-having to start all over again after divorce. And almost did me in too-luckily I was about 38 and my heart was strong enough to handle it. Sometimes just making it alive is a huge accomplishment.
 
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123listen is offline 123listen Post #6  July 11,2009, 6:15am
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Hi outlaw, lifes experiences do either make you better or bitter and i hope that whoever I'm with it will be a shining moment on a dark day
 
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123listen is offline 123listen Post #7  July 11,2009, 6:22am
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Hi lisa4fellowship, observant thinkers with humility. better in person than online chatting ?
 
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dakota06 is offline dakota06 Post #8  July 19,2009, 2:46pm
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So far this thread has only addressed "the family man" issue (important if you have or are planning to have kids). There are other values to look for - How about honesty,straightforward, trustworthy, a sense of fair play, Moral structure, Is he playing you? Or really interested in you - not your daddy's company you stand to inherit?
What are some successful strategies for confirming these traits without being a total - horses' patoot?
 
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Andrewthecarrotman is offline Andrewthecarrotman Post #9  July 22,2009, 2:45pm
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Its not so simple, circumstances change the perceptions of family men. A family man may put children and family first, but there is a question as to priorities of the situation. As men we are compelled by tradition and societal expectations to support the family. It is still a shameful thing to be unable to do so. Many men are ok with the thought of being Mr. Mom, but if the wife/other loses her job we are expected to get one quick. We are also expected to be the rock on which everyone can stand on in any difficult situation. These change priorities very quickly. A roof over the heads and food in the bellies of my family would be more important than spending time with my family if I had to work 100 hours a week. Sleep, shower and food are still needed. Reality has to be reckoned with. There are still bills to pay. This was my dad's situation.
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #10  August 14,2009, 10:36pm

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dakota06 wrote :
So far this thread has only addressed "the family man" issue (important if you have or are planning to have kids). There are other values to look for - How about honesty,straightforward, trustworthy, a sense of fair play, Moral structure, Is he playing you? Or really interested in you - not your daddy's company you stand to inherit?
What are some successful strategies for confirming these traits without being a total - horses' patoot?


Your post is a horses patoot and way off topic. This thread is about finding positive men called family men. Please re-read the front of this group
for the rules. There are plenty of men bashing groups you can join to indulge your tastes.
 
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