If she has sons, are you intimidated?


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stephaniej is offline stephaniej Post #1  June 20,2009, 1:28pm
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I have two sons, ages 18 and 13. I've had people tell me that since boys can be protective of their mom, some men might shy away from pursuing a relationship. My boys are good kids and yes, on occasion have shown their protective nature toward me. I'm really curious what the men on eHA think. Would you keep your distance from a woman if she has sons? Does the age of the boys have any influence on your decision to either pursue or stay away?
 
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UKOK is offline UKOK Post #2  June 23,2009, 8:46pm
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Sister i know how you feel my son is 23 works in the city wears a suit 6'1 and looks like my toy boy and all the men run away - I am still hatching a plan to get him out of the house - But he is so happy at home -cooked meals when i can...i don't do his washing but i do other necessiites in the home just like when he was small. But my encouragement to you is that if they behave, have manners and want to study or work and are committed. Then a good man will see those qualities and want to participate by contributing in a meangful and healthy way that promotes a good relationship - hopefully leading toward marriage if thats what you are keen for. I think we deserve it event though it seems we kiss a few frogs in the process who turn out not to be princes after all..???
I say the best is yet to come - don't put the children out with the milk bottles keep them we will see a great find someday soon - i am sure there is someone here on this Eharmony for you and me alike!

If not i want my money back! joke - lol

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UKOK is offline UKOK Post #3  June 23,2009, 8:48pm
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P.S I AM GOING FOR GOLD - the best that knows i am his best too.
 
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stephaniej is offline stephaniej Post #4  July 2,2009, 8:01am
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Thanks for the encouragement UKOK! I have no intention of kicking my boys to the curb for a man. I agree with you that the right man will want to be engaged with all of us and be a positive influence on my boys.

My question still remains however for the gents, and maybe I need to re-phrase it....

Guys, do you think twice before pursuing a woman that has sons? Why or why not?

Come on now, I know you must have an opinion. Lets hear it!
 
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zxc is offline zxc Post #5  October 23,2009, 2:19pm
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Relationships are not a one way street...so it depends on the man realizing women have children, etc., but let me ask you...are you using your son as a shield or a filter?
 
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BrickWallsBreak is offline BrickWallsBreak Post #6  October 29,2009, 9:16pm
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stephaniej wrote :
Guys, do you think twice before pursuing a woman that has sons? Why or why not?

Come on now, I know you must have an opinion. Lets hear it!
Yes. Teen-age sons can be overprotective. I was raised by a single mom and have a brother three years younger. I also was in a serious relationship with a woman for five years who had teen-age girls. Girls are just more manageable for me personally. I've never had kids myself, but I know how my brother and I were protective with my mom. Girls, generally, just don't get that protective. Girls wanna know how the date went. Boys really don't care and hope it went horribly, in most cases.. Teen-age boys are terrible. I was one, I know. More volitile, less predictable and harder to manage.

Would I shy away? I'd play it different. Treat him with a cautious respect and be aware that no matter what, I'll never be a replacement for his father. Boys love their dad no matter what and don't like a 'new' guy muscling in on that territory.

Good question, though. Good luck.
 
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stephaniej is offline stephaniej Post #7  December 12,2009, 7:14am
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zxc wrote :
Relationships are not a one way street...so it depends on the man realizing women have children, etc., but let me ask you...are you using your son as a shield or a filter?
Thanks for your question zxc. No I don't use my kids as a shield or filter.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #8  December 14,2009, 4:03am
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stephaniej wrote :
I have two sons, ages 18 and 13. I've had people tell me that since boys can be protective of their mom, some men might shy away from pursuing a relationship. My boys are good kids and yes, on occasion have shown their protective nature toward me. I'm really curious what the men on eHA think. Would you keep your distance from a woman if she has sons? Does the age of the boys have any influence on your decision to either pursue or stay away?
I have 2 sons still at home too; 14 & 17. They have been an advese factor in the past. i was hopping by now they'd have grown out of that. But let me tell you about mothers and their daughters!

But on the whole I figure another parents is going to be more understanding of my situation.
 
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ming_on_mongo is offline ming_on_mongo Post #9  December 14,2009, 6:37am
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Fleuellen wrote :
I have 2 sons still at home too; 14 & 17. They have been an advese factor in the past. i was hopping by now they'd have grown out of that. But let me tell you about mothers and their daughters!
Absolutely! The relationship is often much closer, to the point that sometimes the daughter (including adult ones) may even view mom's new boyfriends as "competitors"! And when they have to "approve" of mom's choices... then, it's "adios"!

But on the whole, even if they don't always get along, it seems like males are generally more able to find some way to co-exist, and I think that even extends to protective sons. So if the guy's sincere and it's also clear Mom likes him, then usually it gets worked out, even if they may never quite become "buds".
 
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Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #10  December 15,2009, 1:58pm
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I think that will depend on the man. My sons are 29 and 26. One is 6 ft + and a former Army Ranger, great potential for intimidation there. But let me tell you my 32 year old daughter can cut a man to ribbons with her tongue and a glare. So far they have been rather mellow about the new man in my life. Luckily he is extremely self confidant and not easily intimidated. The ex ranger just thinks it is weird.
 
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