cheryl52 is offline cheryl52 Post #1  June 17,2009, 5:34pm
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I've yet to go out on my "first date" since becoming widowed. I'm not even sure how to get started again. I was married for 16 years before my husband died and have now been on my own for 7 years. Has anyone here dated a widow and was it different than dating a divorcee or never been married woman? What advice can you give me.

Thanks.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  June 18,2009, 10:54am
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I see you are new here and welcome to the eH discussion boards.

One of my matches that went to the dating stage was widowed, as am I. Although I had other matches that were widowed, they just didn't appeal to me because of distance, or their profile wasn't compatible or I just wasn't attracted. Other than briefly discussing each others' circumstances I approached her situation the same as all the other women I dated, that being they all had good marriages (or relationships) up to a certain point. Everyone has good memories of their previous relationships whether they're widowed, divorced or just live-in.

People have to understand that we (widows and widowers) have moved to a new phase in life just like they may be after a divorce. Although the circumstance is different, it is a new phase. Not a replacement phase but a new phase. They can't expect me to forget the past memories and I don't expect a divorced woman to forget the good memories they may have of their marriage. I'm onto a new and different phase of life now.

I think you'll find that people are politely curious and it's probably good to talk about your circumstance early on to clear the air. If you dwell on it too much they'll take it as you're not ready to move on and they'll move on to someone else. Other than that, just be yourself.

There are some discussion groups here for widows and widowers where a lot of these issues and ideas are exchanged and I encourage you to join them.

Good luck to you and see you around campus.
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #3  June 18,2009, 10:08pm
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I flew to meet a match who was a widower. His kids wern't thrilled because I was the first woman he had dated since thier Mom passed. We had a great first and only date and 2 years later...still email via facebook. But they learned to accept this new phase of not only their Dad's life but their own life too.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #4  June 20,2009, 4:37am

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cheryl52 wrote :
I've yet to go out on my "first date" since becoming widowed. I'm not even sure how to get started again. I was married for 16 years before my husband died and have now been on my own for 7 years. Has anyone here dated a widow and was it different than dating a divorcee or never been married woman? What advice can you give me.

Thanks.

Hi welcome to eha. My ex-girlfriend is a widow. I saw nothing wrong with that and we dated for eight years.
 
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zxc is offline zxc Post #5  October 23,2009, 3:03pm
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is at home.

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I think it depends...on several factors. Sometimes in an EH profile I can tell the widow is not ready to date because most of what she talks about is her late husband. I'm not saying that's bad...because it's not...but she just may not be ready yet. That said, I'd happily date a widow if we clicked.
 
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