Is there such thing as a woman being too available?


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jlb896 is offline jlb896 Post #1  June 10,2009, 3:21pm
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Do men see it as a negative if a woman is almost always available whenever they ask her out?

I know it must seem like an odd question, but to expand, I'm not a gamer player when I date. I'll call a guy back once as soon as I can instead of waiting days and if I am free when he asks me out, I go. I don't pretend I am busy and suggest another day a few days later, although countless books (and friends) have advised that I should do it since men don't apparently want a woman who is "at their beck and call." Do men really view it like this?

Looking back on recent men I've dated, I've rarely suggested another day unless I was truly busy. Also, I once accepted a date with a man the day before I had an important final. We have dated casually for a few months and were both very busy. At that time, I thought the relationship was progressing well and wanted to make time for him so I told him that I can meet him for a few hours only, but we should make time later on to spend more time together. We had fun, but I ended it when I had to get home and focus. I didn't see a problem with that, but my friends suggested that agreeing to meet with him before an important day signaled that I was desperate and would drop anything for him (basically, I looked like a doormat).

I disagree, but what do men think? Is it a turn-off if a woman is available to date whenever you call her?
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #2  June 10,2009, 7:42pm
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"Is it a turn-off if a woman is available to date whenever you call her?"

 Absolutely not. If a person is interested in spending time together, I see no advantage in being coy. Doing so is a contrived means of sending a false message (perhaps intended to create the impression that the woman is sought after).

It would not take a great deal of "unavailability" for me to suspect a lack of true interest – and for me to pursue other directions. Someone "playing hard to get" is not likely to be the only option available.

As in many instances and circumstances, those who have alternatives go elsewhere (whether that be from distasteful employment, unsatisfactory conditions, or a reluctant "date"). Those without alternatives may stay in unfavorable situations.

 
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Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #3  June 11,2009, 9:02pm
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Hi jlb,
I'm Lisa, and I think your doing just fine. NOw if you tottaly brushed off your other obligations for the guy, that would be a problem . On the contrary you told him your boundaries( very healthy and positive) as well as your abilities and desire to spend time with him. Right on! Plus, he was calling you, and wanting to spend time with you so the interest was mutual.

It's the games your freinds are sugesting that blow the good possiblities to nothing happening. Why would you want to blow a guy off if your both sincerely interested. Your not at "his beck and call" if your maintaining your personal interests and obligations. Which it sounds like your keeping those in their perspective, while at the same time, giving your man the signals he NEEDS, to know that your truly into him. Otherwise, what reason does he have to think he should keep trying? What would be the point in persueing you?

Keep it real. Stay honest
Lisa
 
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