DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #1  May 20,2009, 3:46pm
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Men who have few friends it seems is more common than women who have few friends. It seems that women are more socially oriented and better at times at creating social networks.

Why is this?

More importantly how can men change this and create more friendships?
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #2  May 21,2009, 1:13pm

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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Hey Dennis, great thread. I'm at work right now and will be working late. Then when I get home I might crash.

So I'll try to answer this tomorrow. I have a lot of thought per this. Funny how these kinds of threads are not talked about per the main boards.

Peace.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #3  May 21,2009, 5:11pm
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Your group has a special nitch...
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #4  May 24,2009, 7:54am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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DennisWisconsin wrote :
Your group has a special nitch...
Thanks Dennis. Well if I do it right, both genders can learn something. I'm working this weekend so my time is limited per answering questions. Here's some information per male friends.

Today America is much more mobile as a society. Men who hold onto their childhood friends are lucky. Unlike women men have different stressors and different social rules. In fact compared to modern women, men live in a much more highly rigid social structure.

This is socially illegal to talk about and politically extreme women will challenge and laugh at men who talk about this. Women will attack the verbiage that onlline men use. That's intimadating and so men shut up. Thus online men are much more gagged from speaking out about themselves than women.

Men lose friends when we go to college. We don't communicate as much to our male friends as women do to their female friends (not all of us but enough for this "stereotype" to be based on truth.)

Out of college men have to make their mark (men attract women when they have something to offer)some work over time and/or at two jobs. They lose more friends that way. Men lose more friends in marriage. Some wives put extreme pressure on their husbands to lose this or that friends. "Oh he's a loser. I mean he does ____ and _________. I don't want you hanging around him anymore." Some wives like my ex-wife actually encourage a man to "lose" his friends. Thus many a man in marriage works OT and loses all of his friends (by this stage of the game.)

If he doesn't have a lot of male relatives, some men (this has become normal) are socially isolated except for their girlfriend/wife. Many women are seemingly oblivious to this. Though there are good women who say "go out with your friends. I don't want you to lose all of them."

While women are free to talk and bond with new women strangers, men who encounter new male strangers have highly rigid social rules that make it more difficult to form permanent bonds. THIS INCREASES AS A MALE GET'S OLDER. THEY BECOME MORE ISOLATED while most women hang onto their female friends and get closer than ever to them.

It's been my personal observation (and that of other men) that more men work more hours outside the house than most women do (based upon a study conducted on the largest family in one town where most of the men could not attend family functions & even holidays because they were working extra hours.)

Some women online will invalidate men's feelings and provide examples why the men's feelings are wrong.
(Some women today challenge almost anything some men say.) They will say "I work longer hours than all my male relatives" or something like that. But overall this is not true of male-female society in America today. Women have more time to socialize with their friends (if men don't pay child support they go to jail.)

Taken together, men move and lose friends, men live in a more highly rigid society with social laws different than women and more men still work more hours outside the home than most women has created more men who are socially isolated than women.

Women's lives have improved dramatically. While men's lives have suffered. And losing friends is only one way in which men today are under more and more stress. Adding to this stress is the unspoken rule that if men vent/whine/complain, other men & women will publicly sneer & degrade them.
 
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