steinfeld is offline steinfeld Post #1  May 19,2009, 10:15am
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ok guys let's hear it... 37 yr old divorced woman with two boys 5 and 11. Basically i'm seinfeld's elaine lol Always have a great time as one of the guys, been told I'm gorgeous, hysterical, fun to be around, hot ....yada yada yada. HOWEVER I'm a little over th bootie call...every weekend my phone blows up between midnite and four a.m... WTF am I not datable (is that a word) My boys have a great dad who they spend about equal time with, I have a nice house and self sufficient. I sometimes txt back and say call me when you're sober... are you a vampire or something... joke around a little when I feel like acknowledging. Spill it guys... what is so damn scarey and horrible???
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #2  May 20,2009, 4:49pm
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steinfeld wrote :
ok guys let's hear it... 37 yr old divorced woman with two boys 5 and 11. Basically i'm seinfeld's elaine lol Always have a great time as one of the guys, been told I'm gorgeous, hysterical, fun to be around, hot ....yada yada yada. HOWEVER I'm a little over th bootie call...every weekend my phone blows up between midnite and four a.m... WTF am I not datable (is that a word) My boys have a great dad who they spend about equal time with, I have a nice house and self sufficient. I sometimes txt back and say call me when you're sober... are you a vampire or something... joke around a little when I feel like acknowledging. Spill it guys... what is so damn scarey and horrible???
I would start by taking "yada, yada, yada" out of your vocabulary.
Last edited by DennisWisconsin; May 22,2009 at 4:13am.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #3  May 21,2009, 12:26am

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Welcome to the group. How annoying. And I thought I was bad. 12-4am? Yikes. You must live in a Metro area.

You might think about taking your phone off the hook before you go to sleep. The book "Pulling Your Own Strings" by Dwyer is a great read per training people how you want to be treated.

I know exactly how frustrating it is to have peope call you up late at night for a booty call. I've tried to tell eha women to call earlier! And eha women are so demanding! "To the left, no more, yes there, quicker, slower, quicker & slower at the same time but kiss me. Harder! Dang come on man, give it to me!"

And that's only when we are playing the Twister game?!@

As for spilling it pertaining to what is so scarey, that's too vague. I will guess you are referring to our feelings and how we feel about women. Well that would take a few weeks to explain. Meet me at Rays Pizza* @11th Street and 7th Avenue this Saturday night at 2am. I'll explain the whole "game."

But don't tell any of the men I've giving out "man" secrets. We made a vow not to tell ya'all. Anyhoo wishing you find the "Jerry" of your dreams.

*I wonder if Rays is still at that location.
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Last edited by outlaw1; May 21,2009 at 12:32am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  May 21,2009, 1:38pm
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Nothing is scary or horrible. However we as people tend to respond to others and treat others how we think we can.

For instance, if you are locked up in the middle of nowhere in jail in Alabama, who are you going to call for help? The one person that you KNOW is going to roll out of bed and gallop to your rescue, right? How do you know that about that particular person? It's their actions, their relationship with you, a host of small factors, etc. right?

So this dating thing is kind of similar. These guys are booty calling you because they know that they can. So what is it about your actions, relationships, friendships, communication manner, etc. that makes them think they can? Also, it shows a great deal of lack of respect for you. Why?

Nobody on the boards can really answer that because we can't see how you interact with people in real life. All the advice I can give you is take a look at yourself and maybe talk to some friends of yours in real life who know you and be ready for some constructive criticism. In fact ask for some honest constructive criticism and see if they can help you resolve it. As another post said, you can also find some self help books on this and see if something in those books will help you out or give you an "aha!" moment.
 
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Happily_Married_Man is offline Happily_Married_Man Post #5  May 25,2009, 3:06am
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well,if your kids have a great father why aren't you with him?
 
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Edmondo is offline Edmondo Post #6  May 26,2009, 5:18pm
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who are these people? Have you ever consented to have them over that late. I my self have never called anyone that late looking for sex.

One time I did get a call at 3am and that was the last time she called me. I called her the next day and said NEVER call me that late.
 
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dakota06 is offline dakota06 Post #7  June 11,2009, 6:54pm
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So what is it that appears like a "red light"? Unapproachable? For some reason the only guys that I seem to attract are either married or otherwise committed(planning to wed w/in next few months). Really, I would like just a few casual aquaintences that end up being honest "nice guys" truely just looking for some good conversation.
 
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Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #8  June 26,2009, 12:32pm
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HI,
Excuse me Dennis,
Lighten up! Most people have verbal "short cuts", and more often than not, MEN APPRECIATE THEM.Including their own use of them.

Lisa
 
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Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #9  June 26,2009, 1:11pm
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Hi steinfeld,
I'm not a guy, but I'll spill it anyway. First, IF IF IF your in the habit of putting out, stop. Be the fun person you are, and go out by yourself, if your friends are busy. It's ok to do that. It sounds like your a social out going person like me, so have fun! Even by yourself, LOL, you won't be by yourself for long. You'll be talking with peopl e and having a good time.

Don't ever leave a bar with a guy, even if your going to a after hours party, or doing some other thing with a group of peopl, always leave by yourself or with ladies and mixed company. ( gaurd appearances and dont put out).

Carefull how strong your flirting is. In fact don't flirt with anyone.
If you have male freinds who are true freinds who have stood the test of time, and who you have never been romantic with, and who assured it will never go there, you may be able to flirt lightly with them meaninglessly for the mere fun of it. Otherwise, save the flirting for aguy you've gotten to know well enough to feel ther is sincere romantic interest that is mutual.

How to get to know them? Be freinds. when your out having fun by yourself your going to meet peopl who like you for who you are. Without the date stress. Then , if you enjoy eachothers company while your out, make plans and exchange numbers to go do something you discover you both like to do. Don't call it a date. Evict that term from your vocabulary. Or at least use it very sparingly. You can tell when a guy is liking you without him having to use the date word to get the point across. Same with them . They don't need us to say the date word. A smile the right way, says it all.

You'll get called to just go have some sexless fun alot more often if you take these tips. Then you'll develop a long list of aquaintences and freinds that you can have fun with, and some day, one of those freinds will turn into someone you can have a meaningful relationship with.

Take care Seinfeld, and if you want to talk lady talk about making some changes, you can add me as a freind and e-mail me.

Lisa
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #10  June 28,2009, 12:16pm
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Lisa4fellowship wrote :
Hi steinfeld,
I'm not a guy, but I'll spill it anyway. First, IF IF IF your in the habit of putting out, stop. Be the fun person you are, and go out by yourself, if your friends are busy. It's ok to do that. It sounds like your a social out going person like me, so have fun! Even by yourself, LOL, you won't be by yourself for long. You'll be talking with peopl e and having a good time.

Don't ever leave a bar with a guy, even if your going to a after hours party, or doing some other thing with a group of peopl, always leave by yourself or with ladies and mixed company. ( gaurd appearances and dont put out).

Carefull how strong your flirting is. In fact don't flirt with anyone.
If you have male freinds who are true freinds who have stood the test of time, and who you have never been romantic with, and who assured it will never go there, you may be able to flirt lightly with them meaninglessly for the mere fun of it. Otherwise, save the flirting for aguy you've gotten to know well enough to feel ther is sincere romantic interest that is mutual.

How to get to know them? Be freinds. when your out having fun by yourself your going to meet peopl who like you for who you are. Without the date stress. Then , if you enjoy eachothers company while your out, make plans and exchange numbers to go do something you discover you both like to do. Don't call it a date. Evict that term from your vocabulary. Or at least use it very sparingly. You can tell when a guy is liking you without him having to use the date word to get the point across. Same with them . They don't need us to say the date word. A smile the right way, says it all.

You'll get called to just go have some sexless fun alot more often if you take these tips. Then you'll develop a long list of aquaintences and freinds that you can have fun with, and some day, one of those freinds will turn into someone you can have a meaningful relationship with.

Take care Seinfeld, and if you want to talk lady talk about making some changes, you can add me as a freind and e-mail me.

Lisa
Very well put.... I'd say I couldn't have said it better myself, but I would have probably started with " I am a guy" I'm thinking Steinfeld thinks she can just switch from "booty calls" to serious dating by fliping a switch.

I've been on EH for a couple months now, 1 friend that I drove couple hundred miles to have dinner (NOTHING more), 1 "meet at a bar and have a beer" (not gonna do that again). Currently seeing a girl that we started off af friends, progressing very slowly, loving every second of it.
 
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