What is the worst thing a member of the opposite gender could do to you?


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Divingirl is offline Divingirl Post #1  April 22,2009, 6:59am

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I was recently told that if you do a survey and ask men and women what the worst thing they could imagine a member of the opposite gender doing to them this will be the majority of the answers:


Men say: "She would laugh at me."


Women: "He would kill me."


I remember specifically two dates of mine where I would be going out with someone I hardly knew and my heart is pounding and I am thinking... "he's going to pull off the side of the road and murder me." Strangely enough both of the 2 most severe times I felt this way I ended up in 10-year long relationships with the guys and they never physically hurt me.


I am wondering what men think about this; that on a very basic level we women are continually aware that the men in our lives are capable of killing us at any time? Do you understand the platform of fear we are opperating from? It crosses our minds at least once a day (in my case as I am walking down a deserted road at night or facing off with an angry client, etc.) How does this fit into your protective role, your desire to be respected, or just your opinions? I do not mean this to be a male-bashing topic, ladies, so lets just listen to what the men have to say.
 
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Divingirl is offline Divingirl Post #2  April 23,2009, 5:17pm

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Hmmm... it's very quiet here.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #3  April 24,2009, 12:41pm

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Dang I just lost my post, ack. Well it was a temp one. I was thinking of this and will try to answer your question tonight after work or this weekend.


The worst thinga woman can do-use False Domestic Violence charges to hurt me. Especially if there is a child involved and she knows the child and me are much closer than she is. And that by using this charge, I won't see or talk tomy child till 3 months later after court.


Usually this leads to Parental Alientation (probably the same women using false charges also alienate fathers from their children and children from their fathers.) Both of these charges are a dagger in my heart and soul.
 
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kayteedid is offline kayteedid Post #4  April 24,2009, 2:20pm
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For me the thing that I once thought was the worse thing that a man could do to me has happened and I survived. Now it would be anything related to my children. Harm to my children or my relationship with them would be it for me!
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #5  April 24,2009, 5:51pm

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kayteedid,592076 wrote :

For me the thing that I once thought was the worse thing that a man could do to me has happened and I survived. Now it would be anything related to my children. Harm to my children or my relationship with them would be it for me!
Awww kayteedid, that breaks my heart. I wish no man would hurt a woman. I feel the same way about my son; my exhas a narcistic personality, yells, is violent and hits my son. I'm the onlyone who pushes him to read, I teach him geography, history, astronomy, politics & gently push him toexcel (beyond his computer games.)


His mother emotionally abandoned him when he was 2 (when he overwhelmingly loved me more than her-she's funny like that.) This breaks my heart...and is one reason why I refused to fight her in court in the beginning. I believed in not fighting the mother of my son.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #6  April 25,2009, 3:50am

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Divingirl, wrote :


I was recently told that if you do a survey and ask men and women what the worst thing they could imagine a member of the opposite gender doing to them this will be the majority of the answers:


Men say: "She would laugh at me."


Women: "He would kill me."


I remember specifically two dates of mine where I would be going out with someone I hardly knew and my heart is pounding and I am thinking... "he's going to pull off the side of the road and murder me." Strangely enough both of the 2 most severe times I felt this way I ended up in 10-year long relationships with the guys and they never physically hurt me.


I am wondering what men think about this; that on a very basic level we women are continually aware that the men in our lives are capable of killing us at any time? Do you understand the platform of fear we are opperating from? It crosses our minds at least once a day (in my case as I am walking down a deserted road at night or facing off with an angry client, etc.) How does this fit into your protective role, your desire to be respected, or just your opinions? I do not mean this to be a male-bashing topic, ladies, so lets just listen to what the men have to say.


Ok I had to think about this one. I answered the first question and that was the worst thing a member of the opposite sex could do...what did I answer that fairly? If you meant a stranger where we didn't have children together...as in I just met her...well then she could lead me to a place where I'll get mugged or killed.


Or maybe she will be like my ex and use false charges for some bizzare reason of hers. I know, I'm paranoid...Or she might be a whacko...


Onwards to answer the rest of this. What do I wonder about that? Nothing because my tribe of men were taught not to hit girls/women. Code of honor. We men are very aware that "women can be more dangerous than men." -King Phillip of Macedonia One wrong word from a woman and youths/men can beat, stomp and kill us.


No I've never really thought about it that way. Once a day-well since I'm always outnumbered, I think almost daily how I could be jumped by men/a man. Just walking home. Or have someone point a gun/knife in my face or ribs. Sounds like many of us have fears.


Facing off with an angry woman client-yeah I know how you feel but in a different way. Bad words from a woman client to our bosses can lead to losing a job + more. Angry women clients are scary; unlike men there's a higher chance they will complain to the boss/tell a LOT of other potential clients and try to get revenge. I've always had that feeling since I started photography in my twenties, etc.


I know guys that have trembled at angry female clients. One photographer who I assisted while learning some of his style had severe procrastination problems+. I only assisted and photographed for him a few months. Anyway he owed his stylist (he had high end clients) $$ and never paid her.


She already had phone numbers of many of his clients and called each one! Then she organized a group of disgruntled clients and put him on TV! Ruined his whole business but truth be told, he should of hired an office assistant to have helped him organize and deliver his finished products. The guy blew $10-20,000 advertising and got a whole season of customers. Bam, all gone...the last I heard (this was back in the early 90s) sheriff officers were circling his house...


Please I don't want to come off as snottyor arrogant. But one woman can ruin a guy's business. Some can be bullies, loudmouths, etc. So a lot of guys suck it up, take the abuse and go on to the next customer. Women can be angry for any reason and take it out on an innocent man. I think some get their rocks off that way.


If a man tells off another man, that man can punch him in the face. Not so for women. At work one disgruntled office worker (woman) can tell the whole office you eat hamsters or some other unGodly rumor. Bam! All the women (except for 1 or 2) give the guy the cold shoulder. And or force the guy to quit. I've seen that happen untold times and had it happen to myself several times in my early career.


As a Director of Placement at one medical facility, I watched one woman (in her 20s and related to the owner) get one immigrant middle aged Medical male doctors and/or American RN Nurses get fired. One after another. Just for kicks! Either she didn't like them or wanted them to bow down to her. Her desk was right behind mine and I'd hear her laughing with another young woman.


Same online...don't piss off a woman. She can get your posts censured and your profile deleted usually much quicker than a man. Women are genuises at networking. Kinda scary to some men. If a woman likes you, she can build up your business (get you clients.) If she hates you, sometimes she can sink you.


How does this fit into my protective role, my desire to be respected, or my opinion (that women are scared of men.) Code of Honor; all goes back to that. Most women are unaware of their surroundings, of the vagrant who has a shiny metal thing in his hand (is it a knife?) Of the swerving car that I must now pull you away from the curb. Of the gang of youths 2 blocks away who look restless and violent (I'll take the lead and start crossing the street with you.)


There's a 100 ways men protect women and women, I don't think, know it. That's when a woman will turn to a man while walking and say "you never listen to me! What were you just thinking?" Meanwhile my eyes are on a policman a block or two away as he's directing traffic (ok we have to go another route or...) Or I'm bracing myself because a dog the size of a small horse is approaching (there's one like that where I live.)


If you are afraid of dogs I might suggest we cross the street. Or I'll put my body in between the mean looking dog and you. I might give off some body language signals and/or even let out a low growl or command if the dog looks physically intimidating, is approaching you too fast and you are freaking out. There are certain times a man might sacrfice his life to protect his woman.


Like a calculator a man's mind has to calculate a lot of things sometimes very rapidly while listening to his woman talk. While out for a stroll that is. I might have to stare down (to gage the situation) a rapidly approaching couple and/or male. Or one behind us...or several. And we never ask for bodyguard $!


I hope I wasn't too biased or insensitive in my answer. I'll check this out later to see if I should edit it.
 
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FarNorth is offline FarNorth Post #7  April 25,2009, 3:29pm
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Divingirl, wrote :

I was recently told that if you do a survey and ask men and women what the worst thing they could imagine a member of the opposite gender doing to them this will be the majority of the answers:


Men say: "She would laugh at me."


Women: "He would kill me."


I remember specifically two dates of mine where I would be going out with someone I hardly knew and my heart is pounding and I am thinking... "he's going to pull off the side of the road and murder me." Strangely enough both of the 2 most severe times I felt this way I ended up in 10-year long relationships with the guys and they never physically hurt me.


I am wondering what men think about this; that on a very basic level we women are continually aware that the men in our lives are capable of killing us at any time? Do you understand the platform of fear we are opperating from? It crosses our minds at least once a day (in my case as I am walking down a deserted road at night or facing off with an angry client, etc.) How does this fit into your protective role, your desire to be respected, or just your opinions? I do not mean this to be a male-bashing topic, ladies, so lets just listen to what the men have to say.
The worst thing that a woman could do to me would be"She would laugh at me" but with a qualifier, she would laugh at me in a intimate setting or laugh at my core values. Either situation would really bother me, and would not go well for the relationship. (Ending the relationship comes to mind)


For womensaying "he would kill me", that is a bit of a shock. Are we all psycho killers? We may different, but come on... I would have thought that women would have said, overwhelmingly,"to be emotionally hurt". Shows what I know about women.


No decent man I know would ever physically hurt a women (Myself included). It is not our protective roles that guide us in this, it is our own values. Most men would never physically assault another man let alone a defenceless woman. Our desire to be respected starts with being able to look ourselves in the mirror and say "I like what I see".
 
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kayteedid is offline kayteedid Post #8  April 25,2009, 4:10pm
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Far North, your answer is quite interesting. I'm intrigued by your thought that a woman's greatest fear would be emotional hurt. As usual speaking for myself that is the easiest thing to bear.


It is nice to know that the majority of men want to protect women. Having been the victim of a man who violated those rules your words affirm what I have always believed. Real men care and protect women. Thank you!
 
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FarNorth is offline FarNorth Post #9  April 25,2009, 4:57pm
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kayteedid,593576 wrote :

Far North, your answer is quite interesting. I'm intrigued by your thought that a woman's greatest fear would be emotional hurt. As usual speaking for myself that is the easiest thing to bear.


It is nice to know that the majority of men want to protect women. Having been the victim of a man who violated those rules your words affirm what I have always believed. Real men care and protect women. Thank you!
I am intrigue by your comment of how emotional hurt would be the easiest thing to bear. I believe that women are much more emotional than men and that it would be harder for women to get over it.Living with the emotianal scars, so to speak.


You women are a mystery to me.


Thanks for your kind comments.
 
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kayteedid is offline kayteedid Post #10  April 25,2009, 6:07pm
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I don't know if it is me or my gender. I'm used to recognizing my feelings and dealing with my emotions head on. It is more acceptable it seems for a woman to express her emotions we don't have to stuff them down. We can openly express whatever it is we are feeling and not have guilt for it. Facing raw emotions leave scars, scars don't hurt they are proof that wounds have healed. (at least they should be). When we don't deal with our emotions we don't heal we are left with open wounds.
 
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