bethisonline is offline bethisonline Post #1  December 31,2009, 12:28pm
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What are the first clues to physical attraction that men and women view? What are the absolute negatives for men (i.e. no makeup) and for women (i.e. sloppy appearance)? What let's us get past these factors when cyberscanning? If we browse the photos and move on, what is it that repulses us? How are we different from the animals if we make such quick judgments? Are we really the higher class species, or do they have us beat since they find companionship more quickly and they are more giving of their real selves?
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #2  December 31,2009, 4:55pm
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It's really an apples/oranges comparison.

First, though we usually stink at it, we tend to look for lifelong partners that we can have a relationship. Animals normally look only for someone to mate with, so "reasonably healthy and of the opposite gender" is about as picky as they need to be.

We, on the other hand, have to be able to talk to and look at this person for (supposedly) the next 5 or 6 decades, even beyond our reproductive years. We also have a larger pool to draw from than animals generally do. Think of the millions of people we come in contact with, as opposed to the small group an animal would have access to. With a greater selection comes the desire to be, well... selective.
 
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barbara4u2me is offline barbara4u2me Post #3  January 4,2010, 4:53am
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I think the actraction "turn on" switch is different according to first your age.....and previous life partner history. If you had a good first relationship, you may want to duplicate it, if a bad one, you look for what you didn't get in the first go round....ie....respect, conversation, honesty, validation, and somewhere in there is the way the eye's sparkle when you look in each others eyes.....with age you learn facial features, body types change as you age...there has to be something behind the pretty face.....
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  January 4,2010, 6:23am
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We are animals....so it makes sense that we would have quite a bit in common with them in terms of physical attractiveness being important. Keep in mind that many animals don't live long so they are forced (in biological terms) to find mates quickly. Whether they are 'more giving of their real selves'....well, there is no way of knowing something like this, or even what it would mean.

I'm a man, and what I find attractive are a woman's physical features. Whether she wears makeup or not, or if she dresses very well don't mean much. As long as she isn't doing something that really detracts from her looks. About the only aspect of what I find attractive that is within a woman's ability to control is her weight.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #5  January 15,2010, 9:03pm
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chawks64 wrote :
It's really an apples/oranges comparison.
Just apples... you go to the store and see lots and lots of apples. They are all pretty darn much the same... YET!... you pick out the ones that just plain look better to you... better shape, even color, whatever.

Now suppose you couldn't choose...someone is there for you and randomly chooses apples for you. You take them home... you're skeptical... but you look them over and decide they're perfectly ok.... doesn't matter if they're not the best because they're all different but really kinda close.

And to convince yourself you take a bite and confirm that looks didn't matter that much... the experience of that apple just plain works for you.

Same for attraction in mates as I see it. As long as you don't choose a bad apple it's fine... it's not important to find the best apple, just avoid the ones that you just plain don't want to take home and try out.

Attraction is avoiding UN-attractive people, not waiting for Mr.Ms. perfect looks.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #6  January 18,2010, 7:29pm
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What are the first clues to physical attraction that men and women view?
For me it's really the "complete package." I think I like confident, strong, independent women. I also like energetic women. I like positive/optimist women. Features (as far as who I choose to date) aren't the deal-breaker, they're just bonuses.

What are the absolute negatives for men (i.e. no makeup) and for women (i.e. sloppy appearance)?
Somebody who doesn't seem genuine or has alterior motives. Somebody who's closed-minded. The biggest thing is somebody who puts a separate set of rules for themselves then they put on other people.

What let's us get past these factors when cyberscanning?
For me,knowing that I can't necessarily figure these things out from a profile/picture.

If we browse the photos and move on, what is it that repulses us?
I guess anything that is said or anything in the pictures that clearly shows me they are something that doesn't jive with my priorities.

How are we different from the animals if we make such quick judgments?
Actually, not that much. I always tell people that at heart, we are still animals.

Are we really the higher class species, or do they have us beat since they find companionship more quickly and they are more giving of their real selves?
Pretty deep. Great question. Not sure I know the answer. I guess maybe we are "higher class" as we'd like to think we're more adaptable to our surroundings as an unchanged species than others. But other species do tend to adapt via adapting genetics naturally. So who knows?

Richey
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #7  January 19,2010, 6:53am
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I think I have a lead on attraction... physical attraction is the involuntary/emotional part and 'thinking' attraction is how closely that person matches our vision of the idea mate.
 
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Dyuma22 is offline Dyuma22 Post #8  January 19,2010, 8:14am
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From a psychological standpoint, the three basic elements of atraction are Proximity, Similarity, and Reciprocity. The presence of these elements doesn't garuntee attraction, but normaly they preceed it.

As far as universal turnoffs go, it's difficult to say since people are so different. Some people have all the 'normal' expactations for a partner, such as emotional stability and good hygene, but others are drawn to 'rule breakers', for whatever reason.

As for our comparison to ainimals, we are animals, but we are also rational beings. We sometimes feel things that are unappealing or confusing to our intellect. There are extremists on either side of this issue who poromte completely ignoring one or the other, but most happy people have managed to find a balance or haromony between them, at least in my experience
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #9  January 19,2010, 12:22pm
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Dyuma22 wrote :
From a psychological standpoint, the three basic elements of atraction are Proximity, Similarity, and Reciprocity.
I'd like to learn more about this... any sources?

I'd also like to throw out the idea (in inquiry) comparing the criteria we use to find people attractive vs. non-human items (or advertising... what is the visual design nomenclature for Proximity, Similarity, and Reciprocity?)
 
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Dyuma22 is offline Dyuma22 Post #10  January 19,2010, 6:01pm
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"Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity"

I forget the author(s), but if you google it or look for it on amazon you should find this textbook easily. Of course it has a wealth of information other than just basics of attraction. It also discusses things like Misattribution, or the tendancy to confuse Hatred and Infatuation (i.e. Much Ado about Nothing)

The explaination for that basically is this: The human brain process internal physical responses to interpret how we feel. hatred and infatuation cause a similar biological response; that tense,almost anxious feeling. Becasue of this, it is possible to confuse the two very different emotions. Thus the myth of there being a thin line between love and hate.

I'm afraid I can't help with the other kind of attraction, it's probably something a visual arts expert could help with though.
 
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