TracyBluebird is offline TracyBluebird Post #1  October 25,2009, 1:36pm
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How are some of the things we do out of being considerate change in a relationship?

I have been giving this a lot of thought lately....I moved in with my Dad when my mother died. He is always so kind and considerate! He thanks me every time I make coffee, or when he finds his bed made or his laundry done. It does not seem like a chore to me, because I honor him for all he has done for me and as my elder, and it's a joy to be appreciated for it! And if I am having a rough week, and things don't get done, I am not criticized and I see him loading up the washer, no questions asked. My brother is the same way to me and to his family. Hey, I want a guy like my Dad and my brother!

I noticed a couple at my son's ballgame today, being so sincerely polite to one another over collecting some trash from their KFC meal. Where does this consideration go? Why do I see people stop this as their relationship gets more serious? It's not just about the guy opening the door for you, or who pays for the meal, it should go both ways. Why do people become so inconsiderate as the relationship grows?
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #2  October 26,2009, 6:10pm
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There's an article in this month's Psychology Today about Rudeness...more frequent.

I think it's just plainly a function of population and competition... more people, less resources, more stress, democracy=higher taxes, and so on.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  October 26,2009, 7:24pm
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I think that to some degree what you're talking about is related to one's stage in life. For example....I don't think a man being considerate is very high on the list of priorities of many 20, or even early 30-something women.
 
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Diann1950 is online now Diann1950 Post #4  October 28,2009, 3:09pm
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If I care for some one, not just a SO, I try to be polite and kind. I don't always succeed, but I continue to try. I find myself responding to people who do the same. Too many people only show the good side of them to the people they want to impress, that is so shortsighted. It is a little like what I was told in an education class I took, probably the only good advice in the class. It was to make friends with the custodian and the secretary, they have the keys to the building and are the ones who make sure you get paid. They also can tell you what and who to avoid.
 
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hopingoverhere is offline hopingoverhere Post #5  October 29,2009, 4:39pm
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I am glad you brought this up. I think in this rushed and sometimes rude world being polite and considerate takes on even more meaning. I just finished a relationship where that aspect of things started out perfectly and slowly deteriorated. I think for some people it just corresponds to how much they care for the other person. Dads and brothers truly love and esteem you. New couples can't care in that way. Practicing it and continuing it helps couples get through the rough patches I believe.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #6  November 7,2009, 9:39pm
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hopingoverhere wrote :
I am glad you brought this up. I think in this rushed and sometimes rude world being polite and considerate takes on even more meaning. I just finished a relationship where that aspect of things started out perfectly and slowly deteriorated. I think for some people it just corresponds to how much they care for the other person. Dads and brothers truly love and esteem you. New couples can't care in that way. Practicing it and continuing it helps couples get through the rough patches I believe.
To me you seem to be saying that love is a choice and needs to be stoked to keep the relationship embers glowing.
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #7  November 7,2009, 11:33pm
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
To me you seem to be saying that love is a choice and needs to be stoked to keep the relationship embers glowing.
I agree with you on this. But shouldn't everyone be considerate in the first place? ( next topic, how to end wars!) Suzie
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #8  November 8,2009, 6:29am
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1Horselady wrote :
I agree with you on this. But shouldn't everyone be considerate in the first place? ( next topic, how to end wars!) Suzie
I think I misspoke... I think I meant chivalrous, not just common politeness.
 
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ARWENMEX is offline ARWENMEX Post #9  November 10,2009, 2:40am
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This is a very interesting topic. I also would like to be in love with a man that is considerate to me. I work hard during the day and would like to arrive home and be just kindly welcome by him. Share home responsibilities and do all homework as a team. Be in love these days is not easy, and that someone really be in love with you is very difficult. I agree that stress is a problem, and career is always priority. Good looking is also a priority for many people, they prefer to spend hours in a gym instead of sharing time with his/her partner.


I met a person, then I wanted to visit him. I live in Mexico and he ives in USA. I supouse to fly to an airport 1.5 hours from his home. He told me, "Ok, once you arrive just take a shuttle that will take you to Tucson". This was for me like "what?????" If he is not able to pick me at the airport up, he is not really interested on me right?? Then I decided better not to fly there.

Hope you all guys can find real love.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #10  November 10,2009, 5:36am
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ARWENMEX wrote :
Good looking is also a priority for many people.

If he is not able to pick me at the airport up, he is not really interested on me right?? Then I decided better not to fly there.
Good looking...yes, a priority for many... is that good? What does it get you that the person is good looking? It seems very selfish to me... how does making good looking a high priority make one happy?

Yes, he is interested in you... just not in a way you wanted.
 
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