Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #71  November 22,2009, 9:27am

blames self-help books

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Beniba wrote :
I think I dont have a partner because I am just myself honest and open and neurotic. I cant play the dating game it takes too much energy and I dont think I have feminine wiles, I only know how to be me. I've been reading Christian Carter and there is just too much that a woman needs to know to catch and keep a man. Anyway I dont want to catch him, I wish we could just grow to like each other without the complications. I really love men and I do want one for myself but men are so emotionally immature, it seems like women do all the work making and keeping relationships together. I've tried to be understanding in relationships but it seems like I'm always the one giving and loving. I just wish I could find someone willing to reciprocate.
Christian Carter is a condescending tool. Stop listening to him. He tells you how to catch and keep him. I don't know who would actually want him. I want a man who doesn't play games or even know the rules.

Oh by the way, found that guy, not letting him go.
Last edited by Can_I_just_be_Jo; November 22,2009 at 9:29am.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #72  November 26,2009, 4:48pm
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Finally, some validation on my complaint that relationships mostly fail because men never get the same emotional validation as women do..

Here's a Yahoo article.. read #2...

Dating Advice: 4 Secrets to a Spectacular Relationship -- Yahoo! Personals

#2. Show Him Some LoveMen whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #73  November 26,2009, 4:58pm
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Beniba wrote :
I cant play the dating game it takes too much energy and I dont think I have feminine wiles, I only know how to be me.
Ok, I like what you say but I have two questions.

- Do you care about how he looks? If so why... if you're not into the 'game' of courtship (which is about attraction, right?, would you be happy with someone you felt a strong emotional bond with but not any physical attraction? (not unattraction either)

- How often do you attempt to start friendships with male candidates so you can see if it develops how you might like it to?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #74  November 27,2009, 7:21pm
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I decided 10 years ago that I liked being single and quit looking.

Changed my mind after a runin with a long-lost love.

Now I am looking again. *sigh*
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #75  November 29,2009, 6:53am
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nightling wrote :
I decided 10 years ago that I liked being single and quit looking.

Changed my mind after a runin with a long-lost love.

Now I am looking again. *sigh*
(Couldn't you have both?...be single, in love, and committed?)
 
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skyrim is offline skyrim Post #76  November 29,2009, 11:47am
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strawberrybanana wrote :
i like being by myself, not answering to any one and doing things i want to, when i want to...or not doing something if i don't feel like it. there is a difference between loneliness and just being alone. and i like being alone right now.
I'm beginning to understand that too. I've lived alone through my late teens and 20's. Then I used to yearn for someone to share my life with. But as I got older, I started valuing my own company much more, and realised that living by myself was not such a bad thing after all. There is no drama, you don't have to accommodate others wishes and desires, just your own
 
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Katedra is offline Katedra Post #77  November 29,2009, 4:00pm
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Because I failed several times to make right decision and have nobody who advice me...I need guidance in relationship...because circumstances are to complicated
 
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Katedra is offline Katedra Post #78  November 29,2009, 4:09pm
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Katedra wrote :
Because I failed several times to make right decision and have nobody who advice me...I need guidance in relationship...because circumstances are to complicated
I have to rise my sons,to work in two profesions,my flat isnt in good shape,needs renovation and new build,I dont meet people,with whom I could flirt and see as able for relatioships
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #79  December 1,2009, 5:48am
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Katedra wrote :
Because I failed several times to make right decision and have nobody who advice me...I need guidance in relationship...because circumstances are to complicated
Yes.. me too.
 
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THX11386 is offline THX11386 Post #80  December 1,2009, 9:56am
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Hummm...

This makes me think of a time when I was shopping for a car. A salesman at the dealership asked me "When can I speak with your husband?" I replied to him, "I am my husband". He then proceeded to try to sell me cars way out of my price range.

Maybe, I am my partner!
 
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