WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #61  November 11,2009, 7:04pm
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Hisown wrote :
Another probable reason that I don't have a partner is because my expectations are so high
What can/will you do to find out?
 
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Hisown is offline Hisown Post #62  November 11,2009, 7:31pm
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
What can/will you do to find out?
Not sure what you are asking in this question Design. I am a very divergent thinker and could construe this several ways. Can you please clarify?
 
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symphony is offline symphony Post #63  November 11,2009, 10:11pm
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In a case where one is divorced, there is usually an injured party and a guilty party, unless it was a mutual decision, of course (which is more uncommon). Some people work together at length to try to salvage a breaking marriage, but it takes two to make it work. Both "gotta wanna" as a friend of mine says...

When most of us got married for the first time, we didn't do it with divorce some years later as a goal or objective, yet here so many of us are... looking for love again.

Realistically, I don't want to be swept away, but I would like to be in love with someone. I miss the intimacy of that kind of relationship, both emotional and physical, and even in the day to day... that comfort of belonging with someone is a wonderful thing.

I don't need to be needed, nor do I need anyone, but I'd love to be wanted. That would be bliss!

If I find a new lover/husband/SO, whatever you want to call him...that will be wonderful, but it won't ruin my life if I don't.
 
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annemarion is offline annemarion Post #64  November 12,2009, 5:10am
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cause iam happy on my own and and do believe my purpose in this life time is for me to be on my own with all the lessons ive to learn
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #65  November 12,2009, 7:14pm
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Hisown wrote :
Not sure what you are asking in this question Design.
Sure... she says her expectations might be too high. So I'm asking what she can do to find out for sure (to get more specific about it). One example might be asking others how you come off or asking others to critique your thinking/standards.
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #66  November 12,2009, 7:18pm
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annemarion wrote :
cause iam happy on my own and and do believe my purpose in this life time is for me to be on my own with all the lessons ive to learn
I also think that happy people can also be lonely and if you find someone who has 'more payoff than cost' that it's would be worthwhile.

I am curious to know how one come to believe their life purpose is to be on their own. (It would seem to me the statement of someone that's had bad experiences in the past and perhaps come to the conclusion that it just wasn't meant to me. I say this not from a point of speculation but it's my personal experience that I have decided to do battle with.)
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #67  November 12,2009, 7:19pm
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symphony wrote :
Realistically, I don't want to be swept away, but I would like to be in love with someone. I miss the intimacy of that kind of relationship, both emotional and physical, and even in the day to day... that comfort of belonging with someone is a wonderful thing.

I don't need to be needed, nor do I need anyone, but I'd love to be wanted. That would be bliss!

If I find a new lover/husband/SO, whatever you want to call him...that will be wonderful, but it won't ruin my life if I don't.
This is just right on the money for me.
 
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Hisown is offline Hisown Post #68  November 12,2009, 7:57pm
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
Sure... she says her expectations might be too high. So I'm asking what she can do to find out for sure (to get more specific about it). One example might be asking others how you come off or asking others to critique your thinking/standards.
Why is it when I read your stuff you sometimes make me giggle? And this is not a negative thing at all. It is a giggle like a little girl who is pleased about something. I need to psychoanalyze myself here and figure out why this happens.

But back to the issue at hand. True confessions now ---When I originally wrote that post I was writing some of it tongue in cheek due to some other posts I had been reading other places. So I never really considered half of what I wrote as serious because I was being sarcastic. Maybe I should go back and really examine my true reasons and rewrite a new post. Fair enough?
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #69  November 18,2009, 3:15pm
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Hisown wrote :
Why is it when I read your stuff you sometimes make me giggle? And this is not a negative thing at all. It is a giggle like a little girl who is pleased about something. I need to psychoanalyze myself here and figure out why this happens.

But back to the issue at hand. True confessions now ---When I originally wrote that post I was writing some of it tongue in cheek due to some other posts I had been reading other places. So I never really considered half of what I wrote as serious because I was being sarcastic. Maybe I should go back and really examine my true reasons and rewrite a new post. Fair enough?
Why not... what are the TRUE reasons?
(Did this make yo giggle?... I'm flatteringly smiling that you said it makes you giggle but I'm not sure why either! )
 
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Beniba is offline Beniba Post #70  November 21,2009, 8:07pm
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WeDesignOurLives wrote :
What is the main reason (or three) you don't have a significant other in your life.... your fault? their fault? ... physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual? (or perhaps you do and would be willing to share if there was a change that you think made a difference).
I think I dont have a partner because I am just myself honest and open and neurotic. I cant play the dating game it takes too much energy and I dont think I have feminine wiles, I only know how to be me. I've been reading Christian Carter and there is just too much that a woman needs to know to catch and keep a man. Anyway I dont want to catch him, I wish we could just grow to like each other without the complications. I really love men and I do want one for myself but men are so emotionally immature, it seems like women do all the work making and keeping relationships together. I've tried to be understanding in relationships but it seems like I'm always the one giving and loving. I just wish I could find someone willing to reciprocate.
Last edited by Beniba; November 21,2009 at 8:09pm. Reason: spelling error
 
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