Common assumptions about men (& vice-versa)...


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ming_on_mongo is offline ming_on_mongo Post #1  October 11,2009, 12:30pm
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Lately have been surprised in these threads how many "assumptions" alot of women seem to make about men. For example:
- that it's mostly the man's "role" to initiate certain levels of "contact" (phone, invite them out, etc.),
- that it's the man's role to generally "pick up the tab" (and that the "priciness" of the tab or the restaurant is also a measure of his interest),
- that men always "want it" (sex) and if they don't, then there must be something "wrong" with the guy (as opposed to just not being "that into you"),
- or that male "sensitivity" is a good thing (but only when they're being "sensitive" to women!).

To be sure, not every woman agrees with any or all of these, but if you notice in alot of the "conversations", they appear to be pretty common ideas among women.

So the question is, especially for those who share any of those ideas, how do you reconcile them with modern notions about "equality", etc.? And what are some of the equivalent "assumptions" that alot of men seem to have about women?
Last edited by ming_on_mongo; October 11,2009 at 12:41pm. Reason: typo...
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #2  October 11,2009, 5:16pm
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"how do you reconcile them with modern notions about "equality", etc.?"

Wow...people been asking that for years.

The difference I think is macro/micro...there's no way (or reason) that society can access people in the same way individuals can.

And to that point "equality" is about fairness under the law. Women should earn the same as men for the same work, etc. But what I don't see are women on the social-left (too much anyway) fighting for equality in the other direction... the man getting custody if he's a better parent, divorces that result in more equitable distributions, etc.
 
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THX11386 is offline THX11386 Post #3  October 12,2009, 7:12am
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ming_on_mongo wrote :
Lately have been surprised in these threads how many "assumptions" alot of women seem to make about men. For example:
- that it's mostly the man's "role" to initiate certain levels of "contact" (phone, invite them out, etc.),
- that it's the man's role to generally "pick up the tab" (and that the "priciness" of the tab or the restaurant is also a measure of his interest),
- that men always "want it" (sex) and if they don't, then there must be something "wrong" with the guy (as opposed to just not being "that into you"),
- or that male "sensitivity" is a good thing (but only when they're being "sensitive" to women!).

To be sure, not every woman agrees with any or all of these, but if you notice in alot of the "conversations", they appear to be pretty common ideas among women.

So the question is, especially for those who share any of those ideas, how do you reconcile them with modern notions about "equality", etc.? And what are some of the equivalent "assumptions" that alot of men seem to have about women?
That's a really good question. In thinking slightly, without hurting my brain, I don't think there is a definitive modern day notion regarding equality. Maybe this is part of the problem.

I guess, before the women's movement, there used to be roles that most people adhered to. The women's movement confused everybody. Equal pay for equal work is fair. But then all of a sudden women wanted to be men. Men wanted to be women.

No wonder it seems no one knows how to act these days.

I try not to make assumptions. I look for what a man is on the inside.
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #4  October 12,2009, 7:57am
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ming_on_mongo wrote :
Lately have been surprised in these threads how many "assumptions" alot of women seem to make about men. For example:
- that it's mostly the man's "role" to initiate certain levels of "contact" (phone, invite them out, etc.),
- that it's the man's role to generally "pick up the tab" (and that the "priciness" of the tab or the restaurant is also a measure of his interest),
- that men always "want it" (sex) and if they don't, then there must be something "wrong" with the guy (as opposed to just not being "that into you"),
- or that male "sensitivity" is a good thing (but only when they're being "sensitive" to women!).

To be sure, not every woman agrees with any or all of these, but if you notice in alot of the "conversations", they appear to be pretty common ideas among women.

So the question is, especially for those who share any of those ideas, how do you reconcile them with modern notions about "equality", etc.? And what are some of the equivalent "assumptions" that alot of men seem to have about women?
(Tone = easy going)
I will like to believe that my "earrings" are prettier than yours.
 
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ming_on_mongo is offline ming_on_mongo Post #5  October 12,2009, 9:15am
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dnnmllr wrote :
(Tone = easy going)
I will like to believe that my "earrings" are prettier than yours.
(LOL!!)... I hear 'ya! Although who knows, maybe all those guys are auditioning to be "pirates"!

And don't get me started re: tats & piercings (on your "private parts" no less!)...... ewwwww (shivers)!!
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #6  October 12,2009, 12:14pm
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ming_on_mongo wrote :
(LOL!!)... I hear 'ya! Although who knows, maybe all those guys are auditioning to be "pirates"!

And don't get me started re: tats & piercings (on your "private parts" no less!)...... ewwwww (shivers)!!
"The first thing a person notices about me is.....I have no tatoos"(I do have (only) pierced ears).
Last edited by dnnmllr; October 12,2009 at 12:20pm. Reason: Positive intent = Please do not take my "quote" out of context. Thanks.
 
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1Horselady is offline 1Horselady Post #7  October 13,2009, 10:40pm
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I've been looking for a man who will put the toilet seat down, does that mean that the rest of you guys, leave it up? Suzie
 
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ming_on_mongo is offline ming_on_mongo Post #8  October 14,2009, 7:36am
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1Horselady wrote :
I've been looking for a man who will put the toilet seat down, does that mean that the rest of you guys, leave it up? Suzie
Always wondered about that one. Why does the toilet seat need to have a "default" setting, anyway? And who's "entitled" to decide?

That sorta reminds me, how my "ex" would get really upset if after using it, I didn't reset the microwave to "zero" each time (or the family car seat to "her" position)! Which probably explains alot of things...
 
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aliciafaith is offline aliciafaith Post #9  October 14,2009, 8:57am
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Interesting conversation. I'm new to the group so maybe this has been addressed but how much do common assumptions about men reflect mens' common assumptions about women? Can we be truly liberated unless we drop all assumptions about each other and actually take the time to get to know the individual?
 
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ming_on_mongo is offline ming_on_mongo Post #10  October 14,2009, 10:59am
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aliciafaith wrote :
Interesting conversation. I'm new to the group so maybe this has been addressed but how much do common assumptions about men reflect mens' common assumptions about women? Can we be truly liberated unless we drop all assumptions about each other and actually take the time to get to know the individual?
OMG, Alicia... I hope you're not saying that men are now "responsible" for womens assumptions too!

Maybe you could give an example...?
 
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