Belief/Acceptance of Romantic Love

I read an article a few weeks ago in a local paper quoting a book which recently came out. In the book the author explained a bit about her life and used it as a basis to explore the topic of whether or not romantic love still exists. The author aknowledged romantic love as one type of love and also spoke about the difference between being 'in love' and 'loving'.

Surprisingly, readers comments criticized the author and completely confirmed what she said in her novel.

Having these out of the way she proceeded to give examples of common thought in society approaching the attitude toward romantic love as a past time. To the author, society seems to have forgotten or decided not to believe in the existence or practicing romantic love sustainably. She says the common thought is that romantic love is just a honeymoon period and many people believe it to be unrealistic, where 'realistic' is coined to be a relationship where you 'love' the person and learn to deal with their deficiencies.

Personally, I believe romantic love, and true love are choices. I chose to believe in romantic love. I have felt what I believe to be true love and romantic love. I think that finding someone who accepts these beliefs and surrenders themselves to being exposed in the pursuit of love is not just a noble personal choice but a statement of strong character and unwillingness to settle for something less than true fulfillment

Does romantic love exist? Thoughts anyone?

I would have to say that it does not matter what we believe, all that matters is what we can feel. The sociopath believes in love and may even desire it, but being unable to feel it, love remains an altogether alien and unattainable myth.

I experience what I would call Eros love for my wife (soon to be divorced) that is every bit as strong today as it was the day I realized I was in love with her nine years ago. She on the other hand has only Philos love remaining for me although I believe at one point she did experience the more passionate and consuming affects of Eros love. I believe that the depth and degree not to mention the longevity of your love for another is determined on a much deeper level than that of the conscious mind. I believe that the mechanism must be bio-chemical in origin and possibly genetic in its disposition.

Nothing can be done to increase or decrease the power of ones love and devotion to another human being; it is decided at a level that is beyond manipulation. We have for example, learned by studying twins that our personalities, our tastes in food and mates, even our emotional maturity is in large part determined by our DNA. So what can be done consciously to manipulate that?

Surprisingly, readers comments criticized the author and completely confirmed what she said in her novel.

Interesting that you would name two of the four Greek words for 'love' and not mention the other two. Well at least one of the other two - Storge is a matter of birth more than choice, but I'm thinking that Agape strongly influences the Eros.

We have no direct control over our feelings, but our actions most certainly can and do influence how we feel. It is known to counselors and psychologists around the world that if you change your patterns of behavior, your feelings will begin to change to match them. If you continually and intentionally treat a person as if you love them, then the feelings of love inevitably follow. Especially if you have felt them before for that person. Emotions can be trained over time, with effort.

Whether a person believes in 'Romantic Love' totally depends on how they define it. There is no denying that hormonal attraction exists, and that we have little influence over it (I believe it can be influenced by the things we look at - for example if a person watches porn all the time they will begin to feel less attraction to real women who do not match up to the porn 'ideal.' Just like taste in food, 'taste' in women can be both natural AND cultured.)

To me "Romantic Love" is a way of behaving toward someone you feel attracted to. It is the Agape, the actions of love, combined with the Eros. The two compliment each other, and when you have both then you have what is called "Romantic Love." It is a delicate plant, that must be watered and fed regularly, and can be easily killed by either person involved.

I believe it is less common in the modern world because of our increasing tendency to focus on self and what gratifies me, rather than giving to the other person simply because I love them and want to please them. Less common, but it still exists.

Absurd question. It's like asking "do people express their love"? Of course they do. Wiki definition;
Romance is a general term that refers to the attempt to express love with words or deeds.[1] It also refers to a feeling of excitement associated with love.[2]