How the government will bail us out...


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Lostintranslation is offline Lostintranslation Post #1  December 17,2008, 9:13pm
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You need a nurse to save your life!

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This is funny stuff! I ripped it off and emailed it to a few friends and I /never/ email people things I find on the internets as a general rule.
 
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Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #2  December 17,2008, 9:37pm
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is apparently a narcotic to some people

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Young Chuck in Texas bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he droveup and said,"Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."


Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."


The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."


Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the horse."


The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"


Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."


The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"


Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."


A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that horse?"


Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."


The farmer said "Didn't anyone complain?"


Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."Chuck grew up and now worksfor the government. He was the one whofigured out how to 'bail us out.'
 
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LovingLifeinTX is offline LovingLifeinTX Post #3  December 18,2008, 1:58am
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Very good story. (And yet very distressing that it's so close to the truth!)I know several people who will appreciate it as well. Thanks for providing the fodder for today's e-discussion.
 
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gwoman is offline gwoman Post #4  December 18,2008, 4:30am
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I like the way Chuck thinks!
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #5  December 18,2008, 6:00am

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LOL!!! chuck is a smart guy... if he can make that much of a profit, i'll let him raffle off my undies with holes in them on ebay and then split the loot
 
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Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #6  December 18,2008, 6:39am
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The funny bit for me is that I can see somebody trying this and actually getting away with it. I mean, if he doesn't show them the horse before they buy the ticket (a picture of it when it was living instead), and the revealing is done in private for the guy who won, then I can absolutely see it working.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  December 18,2008, 7:07am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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*goes to Staples to buy a roll of tickets and opens an account on eBay*
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #8  December 19,2008, 10:05am
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Truth: The government is "gambling" that the economy, over time, will stabilize, henceforth, printing monies that "they" do not have.....in the meantime, I will do my best (i.e. be wise) in what tickets I purchase.... As the "buyer" I must be(a)ware.


I wish all threaders well.
 
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pinz is offline pinz Post #9  December 19,2008, 11:23am
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... minor point, but Chuck is still out the $100 he paid for the dead horse in the first place ... so his gross profit is really only $898, plus he had to buy/print/advertise the tickets and then spend the time selling them ...


Presuming he sold individual tickets (not 'in packets') that's 500 sales calls. Lets say he averaged an hour to close each call. That's 500 hours of his time that could have been spent on some other 'money making' venture that would net a more lucrative gain then $2 per hour ....


So Yes, the government is bailing out 'industry', but the 'hidden costs' are exorbitant.


Last heard the executive branch of Bush's government is going to throw 17.4 billion at the Big 3 auto manufacturers. I think any sensible investor knows that is just throwing good money away. The operative date is March 31st. If there is no tangible foreseeable 'profit' or 'restructuring', the government claims it will 'call in' the loan. Well, phooey to that. It will never happen.


All these 'emergency' funds are doing is allowing the Big 3 an opportunity to create a Chapter 11/Bankruptcy 'legal framework' that will minimize THEIR long term' loss and protect any remaining assets from 'government seizure'. It's a chumps game. Plus Bush is an OIL man. He's likely been getting very heavy pressure (and indirect 'kickbacks') from the Oil Cartel to BAIL OUT American auto works ...


At this point, it probably DOES make more sense to flog a dead horse ...


Tell you what, I'll give you all a break, and sell tickets at $2 Canadian ... that's 2 'loonies' a ticket for a dead horse ... for the uninitiated ...


Any takers?
 
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Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #10  December 19,2008, 10:33pm
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You last two guys did get the part where it was a joke, right?
 
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